As if Friday’s Rugby News on rugbydownunder.com aren’t special in their own right! But the day before a Bledisloe and another Melbourne Bledisloe at that has got to be special, don’t it, you can almost taste the excitement!
First up today let’s kick off the weekend buzz with ‘The Hope That Kills You’. Witness history and the probable end of ‘The Governors Curse’. Have some fun at Kiwi’s expense in ‘And Another Thing’. Put a price tag on your sole in ‘R.M.R.U.O.K?‘ And take it all home with ‘Fridays Goss with Hoss’ now no chance of any free kit from RM Williams.
The Hope That Kills You.
So here we are again & back at the City of the greatest rugby crime ever committed in the history of the game (#luckydanhasntcancelledit #penniesformelbourne)
A Bledisloe week is hard enough on it’s own at the best of times. You have the memories of another failed years campaign, long behind you. The abject failures of Aussie SRP sides against the Kiwis are almost out of mind and in their place seeps the most dangerous substance known to humanity: ‘hope’
Now, I am fully aware that ‘hope’ only exists in two industries:
- Beauty Products
- Religion
So why do I find myself ‘hoping’ that this this is the year again? There’s no genuine reason to be hopeful. There’s no scientific reason, no KPI, nothing in the tea leaves, in fact there is absolutely no reason as a Wallaby fan to feel optimistic at all. But that’s exactly why I feel hopeful.
In a lot of ways, Bledisloe week is also a bit like the prelude to a first date. The anxiety and angst you feel around a possible first kiss, maybe even the hint of some Barry White moments later on. What are the signs to look for, how will I know, will it be any good? Its pure bloody psychological torture, but you still pursue it with a gusto.
‘Hope’ this year, maybe it’s more than that, maybe it’s simply our time.
‘The Governors Curse’.
Saturday 29 July
Australia v New Zealand, Melbourne Cricket Ground, Melbourne. Coverage Live & exclusive on STAN from 7.00pm. Live on 9 from 7.30pm. Kick-off 7.45pm AEST
‘Four more years boys, four more years’
At the time, one of the best taunts I had ever heard on a rugby field. Succinct, articulate, entirely on point and inflicting a deep wound to the psyche of a nation. But, since we have not won the Bledisloe Cup since those words, well, so began ‘The Governors Curse’.
But is the curse about to be broken? By the looks of our team, yes, yes it is.
Eddie Jones has finally picked a team for today and tomorrow and not one based on yesterday. I recall reading a brilliant article on a rugby fan site last Friday asking for just such thinking.
Sure there are a few spots that leave me less than thrilled, but as a XXIII this, in my opinion, is one of the best Wallaby teams selected of the last 10 years! There is size, pace and aggression, beautifully sprinkled with a seasoning of youth and experience. And for the first time in an eternity, players have been picked almost entirely deserve their spots through deed and not reputation. Many of us could argue at the peripheries of the XXIII. Uelese is lucky, perhaps Tom Hooper, Porecki & Arnold too, but outside of them, there really doesn’t seem to be any contentious calls. I also like the overall ‘feel’ of the squad, everything about it seems right!
The most pleasing aspect? It’s new, new players, new combos and largely free from the history of relentless beatings at the hands of the Nearlies.
I can’t credit the bravery & insight of the Wallabies selectors enough for this squad.
As for The Nearlies, they are perpetually strong and started this RC in imperious form. Accounting for the FISM’s comfortably, before bashing The Catholics in an opening 25 minutes of near faultless rugby. They too have a terrific sprinkling of youth and experience, they know how to win and their quality of play as a side usually hovers around an ‘8’ out of 10 on most days.
Fearless Prediction: ‘The Governors Curse’ to be broken and no French ref to help The Nearlies this visit. Wallabies by 4.
Wallabies (1-15): Angus Bell, David Porecki, Allan Alaalatoa (c), Nick Frost, Will Skelton, Jed Holloway, Tom Hooper, Rob Valetini, Tate McDermott, Carter Gordon, Marika Koroibete, Samu Kerevi, Jordan Petaia, Mark Nawaqanitawase, Andrew Kellaway.
Reserves: Jordan Uelese, James Slipper, Taniela Tupou, Richie Arnold, Rob Leota, Nic White, Quade Cooper, Izaia Perese.
New Zealand (1-15): Ethan de Groot, Codie Taylor, Tyrel Lomax, Brodie Retallick, Scott Barrett, Shannon Frizell, Dalton Papali’i, Ardie Savea (c), Aaron Smith, Richie Mo’unga, Mark Telea, Jordie Barrett, Rieko Ioane, Will Jordan, Beauden Barrett.
Reserves: Samisoni Taukei’aho, Ofa Tu’ungafasi, Nepo Laulala, Samuel Whitelock, Luke Jacobson, Cam Roigard, Anton Lienert-Brown, Caleb Clarke.
Match Officials: Referee: Wayne Barnes (RFU) Assistant Referee 1: Karl Dickson (RFU) Assistant Referee 2: Christophe Ridley (RFU) TMO: Tom Foley (RFU)
And Another Thing!
Say what you will about Eddie, but it’s bloody good having him back. At a packed press conference Thursday the coach was in fine mood, firing some banter NZ’s way:
“…There’s nothing better than winning against New Zealand because you feel the country sinking. It’s not just rugby that sinks, the country sinks.
“The whole economy goes down so the Prime Minister’s there with his fingers crossed hoping the All Blacks win because he knows the economy will drop off (if) they lose“We’ve got a bit of a job here to do…maybe put the New Zealand Prime Minister on call that the economy’s going to suffer and at the same time raise our stakes here.”
Now this might be not everyone’s cup of tea, but:
- There were no claims of ‘bugged’ meeting rooms
- No front page drawings of coaches as clowns
- Nor accusations of food poisoning from a mysterious waiter.
Nope, just good ol’ fashioned banter and light hearted ribbing between two old rivals. And what could be better than a bit of promotion in a city more known for gangland shootings and that sport where everyone gets a prize for not quite kicking straight.
Love him or hate him, Rugby in Australia needs Eddie Jones right now & cometh the hour, cometh the man.
R.M.R.U.O.K?
For the RDU Hansard, as a kid of the bush and now as a man of the land, I am a certified 40-year boot wearing veteran and an unabashed fan of Twiggy Boot Company RM Williams. I love that his goods where forged by Aussie conditions. Crafted for Aussies without any pretentiousness and from genuine & humble beginnings, an Australian icon was born. In fact I am the ‘Imelda Marcus’ of RM’s almost a ‘collector’ and have more sets of boots than I’d care to admit to Mrs Hoss. But for all of that and my love of the brand built over 4 decades, surely with their new ‘Wallaby Partnership‘ range they are extracting the urine a wee bit aint they?
Apart from the gang at my local store (big shout out to the team at Kotara who always greet me with ‘G’day Hoss’) you walk into a RM store these days and see the latest pretty young ‘style ambassadors’ of all 13 persuasions who look at me as ahem, a ‘plus sized’, bald man with disdain, with an almost tangible: ‘how dare you walk into an RM store at your age & demographic, plus you’re wearing socks with your boots and your jeans rolled down’ attitude! But now, they want us rugby fans, us Wallaby rugby fans to walk in, or hop online and shell out $999, yes $999, for a ‘Heritage Football’ that doesn’t even have the reasonably expected words like: ‘Wallabies’ or ‘Rugby’ on the ‘Wallaby Partnership’ item. $999 for the skin of a dead cow, filled with air! $999 so a ‘leather artisan’ on $25 per hour can spend a day stitching the animal skin together and flog it off at $999 to the weak-willed show ponies who simply must have one!
I have the beating heart of a capitalist inside my heavily insulated outer layers of lard & don’t begrudge anyone from making a buck. You thunk it up, you made it happen, you should be rewarded. But in a game that already has the stench of private schools all over it. In a game that’s trying to bring new eyes and ‘gen next’ as followers of the code, just how do $1000 footballs achieve these goals again? And apart from Bondi Farmers, who the hell is going to pay $1k for a football that aint even a real football and actually has no reference to the national side on it? You may as well pay $1000 for a vibrating, self-use mood modulator at least it would be practical and not just gather dust on a shelf somewhere.
And for the Hansard, I’d be less embarrassed to display the battery powered stress reliver on the mantle, than I would a $1000 mock football.
Fridays Goss with Hoss.
Frequent Flyers
Aussie Women’s 7’s coach Tim Walsh is leaving no stone unturned in the countdown to the Paris Olympics. rugby.com.au own William Williamson has more.
Love it: ‘Where there’s a Wallaby…’
Great new TV campaign for the our Wallabies RWC tilt later this year and entirely embracing the underdog tag:
Decommissioned Commissioner.
Bad luck & our best wishes to ‘Commissioner’ Jake Gordon with news a concussion will see him sidelined for up to 8 weeks and likely end any RWC ambitions. Toulon head coach Pierre Mignoni tells plantrugby.com more.
Captain Throat Slitter.
Nope, not the latest Marvel Villain (his name is Raynal) but confirmation Ardie ‘The Throat Slitter’ Savea will captain NZ at Melbourne with regular skipper Sam ‘I Am’ Kane out injured.
The Haka should be interesting!
Why, why, why no Delilah?
You know I never knew that I never knew the Delilah lyrics! It was always one of those tunes you’d hum along too without ever knowing the words, kinda like our national anthem. Having read this on stuff.co.nz I have no problems with modern sensibilities making it less than ideal as a song of celebration. Surely the Soap Dodger will also can ‘Swing Low’ any time now too huh and god knows what those Frogs are singing about, although I bet it’s not profiteroles?
Until next week. Go you golden things.
Hoss – out.
