Rugby

Breaking News: Manager tries to pump up player’s contract.

Breaking News: Manager tries to pump up player’s contract.

In what comes as a significant shock to the sporting world, Quade Cooper’s manager Richard Colreavy is using the threat of his client going to rugby league as a tool to get more money out of the Australian Rugby Union.

Colreavy, who’s IMG Australia manages relative no-names Ben Batger, Cam Mitchell, Chris Alcock and Luke Holmes made the following statement.

“We’re serious about this. We want more money. Look at our stable of players. None of them are worth jack. Quade’s our pay day. We need to milk him for all he’s worth because God know’s the other lot are worth bugger all.”

“Ok, we’ve got Pocock but he’s such a clean cut, no bullshit person that no-one’s ever going to believe he’d even consider a switch to league,” added Colreavy.

Cooper gave his commitment to the QRU to remain at the Reds for a further two years thus instantly giving the ARU a strong bargaining chip when it came to their top up contract.

“Yep, we briefed Quade to say that because it made him look loyal in the face of some pretty harsh press about him considering going to the Force after all the police stuff” said Colreavy. “In the end, it’s probably backfired on us a little which is why we are playing the league card.”

“It’s a good option for us because, one, Quade kinda looks like a leaguie in that he has that same stutter step as Benji Marshall. Also, he’s mates with Jarryd Hayne on twitter so the Eels was an obvious choice . He’s twitter friends with Dell (Wendell Sailor) too so we considered the Dragons, but (Wayne) Bennet is such a honest guy we didn’t think we can play the same game with them.”

But the player manager games don’t finish there.

“We’ll be keeping the AFL one up our sleeve. We’ll probably try to lean on one of our other clients, perhaps Dermie Brereton or Timmy Watson, to come out and say that they reckon Quade could make it in Aussie Rules as well. So that could help if we need to go down that road.”

When told of the Cooper’s “talks” with the Eels, ARU CEO John O’Neill simply smirked and walked away cracking his knuckles.

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The original prop in a prop's body, but thankfully I have the rugby mind of a prop as well.

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