Eye for an eye?
In news overnight, part time ophthalmologist and pistol whipping enthusiast Eben Etzebeth, has been given an 87 week ban for his clumsy ‘retina relocation’ attempt (sans general anaesthesia), against some random Welsh player last week.
Not content with beating the northern sheep shaggers by 1,000-0, Etzebeth went full untrained Eastern-European doctor mode on the poor Welsh player in an incident just near fulltime, and received an instant vino for his skull-diggery antics. The judiciary panel have however spun the chocolate wheel of leniency and reduced the initial 87 week ban down to 12 weeks, because of his previous clean record and just the fact that EE is also just one giant scary mofo, and the judiciary members shat themselves.
Etzebeth will be eligible to play again in March 2026 and at last reports the injured, eye-patch wearing Welsh player, has been auditioning for pirate roles in some off West End London musicals.
