Ok ok so we’ve picked, or almost picked, the official Green & Gold Rugby Wallaby Team of the Decade? What the hell do we do now? Who are they going to play? Perhaps an ‘Alien XV’? But I could only think of Gareth “Alf” Thomas and Tana “Predator” Umaga as potential players. Fine, I’m happy to throw in Ma’a Nonu as some sort of replicant, but still it is still not enough to build a team on.
So naturally we opt for a Rest of the World XV. But this is no ordinary Rest of the World XV. This is the Rest of the Word XV of players who played well against the Wallabies. So whilst Rupeni Caucaunibuca would be the first name selected by me, he never played the Wallabies so is ruled ineligible.
How do you go about picking such a team? Well, it’s really quite complicated. Firstly I proposed a team to a few of my trusted G&GR colleagues, asked for feedback, received feedback and then promptly ignored most of the feedback. In the end all these teams are pretty subjective, so why not have a go yourself. Let us know who we missed, and who shouldn’t be there. Then once we’ve go this Wallaby team out of the way, who would win?
15 Jason Robinson (England & Great Britain)
v Australia: 9 tests
Points: 20 (4 tries)
Won: 6
Lost: 3
Picked for: being part of a dominant English side that had the wood over us this decade. And that try he put on us in the first Lions test making Latham look like a traffic cop.
Close but no cigar: Mils Muliaina for consistency; Werner Greef for constantly giving us trouble; Christian Cullen for those tries in 2000.
14 Bryan Habana (South Africa)
v Australia: 10 tests
Points: 25 (5 tries)
Won: 5
Lost: 5
Picked for: being the consummate finisher, showing us the value of sheer pace (and massive shoulder pads) and tearing us apart in Perth that time.
Close but no cigar: Doug Howlett is the obvious one. Leading try scorer v Oz in the decade with 8 from 11 appearances. Might chuck Breyton Paulse here too for his 7 meaties as well. Sitivini Sivivatu for his performances for the All Blacks, oh and the Pacific Islanders.
13 Brian O’Driscoll (Ireland/British & Irish Lions)
v Australia: 9 tests
Points: 23 points (4 tries, 1 drop goal)
Won: 3
Lost: 5
Drew: 1
Picked for: Being a fabulous leader and defensively matching up to our ‘star’ outside backs. Oh, and scoring that amazing try for the Lions making Burke look like a traffic cop.
Close but no cigar: Tana Umaga must rate a mention. Marius Joubert always seemed to enjoy playing the Aussies. Will Greenwood for being the direction the Poms needed in the backline.
12 Dan Carter (New Zealand)
v Australia: 16 tests
Points: 207 points (2 tries, 25 conv, 48 pg, 1 drop goal)
Won: 13
Lost: 3
Picked for: being a point scoring maestro. Being a play making maestro. Being an unfair continuation in the long line of quality All Black 10s (although picked at 12 here).
Close but no cigar: Jean de Villiers from the Boks; De Wet Barry for his tender approach to tackling. Mike Tindall for babysitting Jonny!
11 Shane Williams (Wales)
v Australia: 5 tests
Points: 20 (4 tries)
Won: 2
Lost: 2
Drew: 1
Picked for: Being at the heart of any win the Welsh had over the Wallabies. Being at the heart of any come back the Welsh had against the Wallabies. Being a hard little prick to tackle, showing up in his scoring rate.
Close but no cigar: The original Neo from Matrix, Joe Rokococko. Ben Cohen is worth a shout here as well. Jonah for that try in 2000?
10 Jonny Wilkinson (England & Great Britain)
v Australia: 10 tests
Points: 142 (1 try, 10 conv, 34 pg, 5 dg)
Won: 7
Lost:
Picked for: being the one who pretty much won those 7 games for the Poms (and the Lions. Well, once). For bouncing back from that 1998 shellacking and proving his ability to control a game.
Close but no cigar: Andrew Mehrtens, even if for a few tests. Ronan O’Gara for orchestrating those Irish wins. Carlos Spencer for his passing game (hee hee hee);
9 Fourie du Preez (South Africa)
v Australia: 13 tests
Points: 10 (2 tries)
Won: 7
Lost: 6
Picked for: being the best scrum half in the world over this period. For combining the brutality of the Bok pack with the pace and precision of their backline.
Close but no cigar: Agustin Pichot, despite never really taking it to the Aussies. Moses Rauluni for his combativeness. Justin Marshall for his role in When Harry met Sally; Rob Howley for being a constant threat.
8. Scott Quinnell (Wales & Great Britain)
v Australia: 4 tests
Points: 5 (1 try)
Won: 1
Lost: 3
Picked for: man handling us back in 2001, primarily, and being the heart of any forward rush by that powerful Lions pack.
Close but no cigar: Imanol Harinordoquy for his all round game; Larry Dallaglio for being such an annoying bugger; Pierre Spies for being an absolute freak of nature.
7. Richie McCaw (New Zealand)
v Australia: 19 tests
Points: 30 (6 tries)
Won: 16
Lost: 3
Picked for: for living up to his nickname of McAwe! For just forever being there, on the ball, stealing the ball. For that tackle on Mark Gerrard at Suncorp.
Close but no cigar: Neil Back for being a hardened gnome. Juan Smith for sheer athleticism. Olivier Magne for versatility and longevity. Martyn Williams for being the tough little nugget Aussies love.
6. Richard Hill (England & Great Britain)
v Australia: 8 tests
Points: 5 (1 try)
Won: 6
Lost: 2
Picked for: being the turning point of the 01 Lions series. When he was knocked out, the Aussies began to dominate. For being the ‘invisible man’, but so very good, with the World Champion Poms.
Close but no cigar: Jerry Collins for the intimidation factor. Joe Van Neikerk for being just another brilliant Bok backrower, Schalk Burger forn that massive head. “Head. Ball. Now”
5. Martin Johnson (England & Great Britain)
v Australia: 7
Points: 0
Won: 5
Lost: 2
Picked for: intimidating the hell out of the Aussies, if not the players then the supporters and the press. For being a completely dominant pack leader.
Close but no cigar: Bakkies Bottha for intimidation; Mark Andrew for holding on for a few more years. Donncha O’Callaghan for being the uncompromising lock whenever the Paddies played the Aussies.
Victor Matfield (South Africa)
v Australia: 19 tests
Points: 15 (3 tries)
Won: 10
Lost: 8
Drew: 1
Picked for: ruling the South African lineout and then, every once in a while, producing an amazing piece of athleticism reminding us all of his freakish talents.
Close but no cigar: Brad Thorn for sheer professionalism; Fabien Pelous for toughness; Paul O’Connell for doing the hard grafting work and loving the tight stuff.
Phil Vickery (England & Great Britain)
v Australia: 11 tests
Points: 0
Won: 8
Lost: 3
Picked for: being the Bull. Being the cornerstone of a dominant England (and Lions) pack. For those BULLocking runs in close whilst we were just looking for props to hold up a scrum.
Close but no cigar: Carl Hayman for the beard. Sylivian Marconnet, for hard core toughness; Martin Castrogiavanni for standing out in an average side.
Keith Wood (Ireland/British & Irish Lions)
v Australia: 4 tests
Points: 0
Won: 1
Lost: 3
Picked for: just never stopping and being an inspiration to every front row forward that played with him, against him, saw him play, heard about him.
Close but no cigar: John Smit for inspiring leadership; Keven Mealamu for always lifting the tempo when he played us; Anton Oliver for being the smartest sounding hooker ever.
Tony Woodcock (New Zealand)
v Australia: 15 tests
Points: 25 (5 tries)
Won: 13
Lost: 2
Picked for: being a ‘myth’ apparently. Scoring way too many tries against us that any player (let alone prop) should have. Being the quiet achiever and giving all our 3’s a hard time.
Close but no cigar: Andy Sheridan for destroying careers; Tom Smith for being the pocket battleship; Trevor Woodman for coaching young Aussie props after tearing the old ones apart; Os du Randt for sheer weight of numbers.
