G’day G&GRs, well, the Rugby Championship has kicked off, and kicked off in style it has. Wow! Can I just say wow! If anyone had put a lazy pineapple on that one, they would be a rich Mo-Fo!
So, let’s have a quick revision on that game, and have a look at the Kiwis V the Argies as well. Prepare yourself for another bumper edition, Brisney style. Pour a large cup of the good stuff☕, and let’s talk rugger, the game they play in heaven.
All Blacks 41 Defeated Argentina 24
Well, didn’t that one have a bit of spice to it? The All Blacks have gone into Córdoba, copped a proper second-half scare, and still managed to roll the Pumas into the turf 41–24. And how did they do it? Same way they’ve been doing it since Adam played Fullback for the Jerusalem U15’s – the trusty rolling maul. Three tries off it, two of them late, and that was curtains for the Argies.
The Tale of the Tape
The ABs flew out of the blocks, running up a 31–10 lead by oranges. They looked slick – Reece bagged a brace, Will Jordan danced through traffic, and Ardie Savea did Ardie Savea things off the back of the lineout drive. Beauden was slotting them from the paint, and you could already hear the Kiwi press polishing their “back to their best” headlines.
But fair play to Los Pumas. They came back snarling in the second dig. Joaquin Oviedo ran like he was carrying the whole province on his back, Albornoz wriggled through defenders like a halfback on Red Bull, and suddenly the scoreboard read 31–24. Córdoba was bouncing, and the All Blacks looked rattled. Discipline went out the window, cards were flashing, and the Pumas had the crowd believing.
Then came the killer. Samisoni Taukei’aho off the bench, straight into the maul, straight over the chalk. Twice. Bang, bang. Game over.
Final Whistle
41–24 looks comfy on paper, but don’t let the margin fool you. For a solid 25 minutes in that second half, Argentina had the All Blacks on skates. The difference was clinical execution at set-piece time – and the Kiwis still own that department.
Three Things We Learned
- The All Blacks’ rolling maul is a weapon again. – For a few seasons, it was blunt. Not anymore. Taukei’aho, Savea, and co. are turning it into a scoreboard ATM.
- Argentina has belief – and bite – Down 21 at half-time, they didn’t chuck it in. Oviedo and Albornoz dragged them back into the fight, and with a bit more polish, they might’ve had the boil-over of the year.
- Discipline remains New Zealand’s soft underbelly – Yellow cards, repeat infringements, and second-half wobbles let the Pumas back into it. Against the Boks or Ireland, that’ll cost them the chocolates.
Wallabies 38 defeated South Africa 22
If you haven’t done so already, read my very rushed game review here. Now with a bit more time to reflect, and reflection a-plenty, here are a few more random thoughts.
Springboks v Wallabies: Brisney’s Five Takeaways
1. A Bok Blitzkrieg – then a Bok Bust
Fair play, the first quarter had us all groaning into our pint glasses. In fact, Old Brisney almost turned it off and walked away. The Springboks went full Terminator mode, 22-zip up inside 20 minutes. Their bombs were falling like rain – Grant Williams kicking laser-guided missiles, Arendse and Van der Merwe climbing the ladder like Spider-Man, and even Big Eben Etzebeth looking like he was back in the schoolyard pinching lunch money. Tom Wright dropped one, the Bokke pounced, and Kurt-Lee was grinning like a kid at Christmas.
But here’s the kicker – once they got that lead, the Boks stopped being Boks. They ditched their meat-and-potatoes power game for some flashy Tony Brown-inspired width. And mate, it backfired harder than my BBQ when I ran out of gas.
2. Enter the Gold Wrecking Crew
From there, it was all Wallabies. Fraser McReight went full breakdown gremlin – four penalties, two turnovers, and 20 tackles for good measure. Harry Wilson ran like a bloke trying to get to the pub before last drinks, bagging a brace. And Joseph Suaalii? Sweet mother of mercy, he looked every inch the star we’ve been promised – composure, creativity, and that big-game swagger.
Chuck in James O’Connor throwing a 30-metre left-hand peach to set up Max Jorgensen, and you’ve got highlight-reel stuff. Suddenly, it was the Wallabies looking like Harlem Globetrotters, and the Boks looking like they’d lost the plot.
3. Numbers Don’t Lie (and Neither Does the Scoreboard)
Here’s one that’ll give Rassie nightmares:
- Lineout? 68% – woeful by Bok standards.
- Missed tackles? 26 of the suckers.
- Turnovers coughed up? Seventeen. SEVENTEEN.
By contrast, eight of the top ten tacklers wore gold jerseys. McReight, Hooper, Wilson – they were everywhere. Will Skelton monstered Etzebeth, Tupou held his own at scrum time, and the Aussies ran in four tries from outside the Bok 22. Translation? Our mob thrived in broken play, and the Boks just kept feeding us ball.
4. What Went Wrong for the Bokke
This is where you scratch your head. With Pollard and De Allende missing, there was no cool head steering the ship. Libbok and Williams decided to go Harlem Shuffle wide instead of sticking to Bok DNA. The aerial pressure vanished, the breakdown descended into chaos, and their lineout turned into a lucky-dip raffle. Malcolm Marx and Bongi Mbonambi both threw like they were aiming at the hot-dog stand.
Rassie will be spitting chips at the penalty count too – five straight against them on the deck at one point. That’s not Bokke footy, that’s schoolboy stuff.
5. Wallabies – Believe the Hype?
We’ve been hurt before, mates. But gee whiz, that second-half performance was as good as anything we’ve seen in green and gold since… well, since we stopped carrying Quade Cooper’s passport. This wasn’t a lucky bounce win – it was a six-try demolition driven by fitness, smarts, and a pack that refused to roll over.
Sure, there’s work to do – lineout still ropey, aerial defence shaky – but if you’re not a little bit excited after that, check your pulse.
Last Words
The Bokke will bounce back – they always do – but they’ll be kicking themselves for playing champagne footy when a good old box-kick and bash would’ve iced it. Meanwhile, Joe Schmidt’s men just gave us the clearest sign yet that there’s life in this Wallaby project.
And after the last decade, I don’t say this lightly: that comeback wasn’t just good. It was bloody magnificent.
Old Man Shouting at Clouds
Well, I think it is finally time we lock up Australian Rugby’s Crazy Old Uncle, that is, David Campese. After Crazy Campo’s spray, which you can read in full here, I am wondering if he feels like the total goose that he is.
“I can see why Joe Schmidt has never won a RWC. He has no idea about rugby. Clueless. This shows us why,”
“I don’t believe we should have a Kiwi coach,” he said in October last year.
“Joe Schmidt hasn’t won anything. Yes, he might have won a Six Nations (with Ireland), but the World Cup is the ultimate for any sports player or coach, and he hasn’t won anything.
“We always seem to get a coach that has never won anything. We always seem to get the second-best Kiwi coach, never the first-best.
“Joe Schmidt has got no idea about our culture or history. We’re mauling the ball from 22 metres out. We don’t do that. That’s not Australian rugby.
“We are used to counterattack and attack from anywhere. We can’t even do that. It’s very sad that we have to go through this again with another Kiwi coach.”
I don’t know about you, GAGRs, but Brisney thinks it is time for Campo to disappear into irrelevance where he belongs.
Anyway, enough of this old man rabbitting shite! Over to you, GAGRs! Have at it!
