It’s not Hoss. You’ll cope. Hoss is currently assisting Newcastle police with their enquiries after a spate of incidents where (allegedly) street performer mimes have been pushed to the ground and kicked a few times before the assailant ran off laughing. Hoss used his one phone call to update the writer and whinge about all the “salad-dodging fat b@stards” the cops had rounded up to stand near him in the identity parade. Hoss will be back next week if his GoFundMe page reaches its bail amount goal.
Aussie men’s sevens top Pool B and into Olympic quarterfinals (5am Friday)
The ABC reports that two gutsy wins have rocketed Australia into the men’s rugby sevens quarterfinals with one pool game to spare (v Argentina 10:30pm Thursday night, won by Australia 22-14). Australia have topped Pool B. Australia’s 21-14 defeat of Samoa was followed by a gut-busting 21-7 win against the dangerous Kenya, both in front of 80,000 at the Stade de France on Wednesday, local time.
Back in the squad after a season with the ACT Brumbies, Corey Toole iced the win over Kenya with a flying run down the right wing. Against Samoa, Dietrich Roache threw a long, floating intercept that saw the favourites down 7-0. After a “do it for Yowie” inspirational speech from captain Nick Malouf, Henry Hutchison scored a double, Nathan Lawson crossed for the first of two tries for the day and NRL-bound former Wallaby Mark Nawaqanitawase got some late touches off the bench.
You’ll probably know the quarter-final results by the time you read this. I’d get up to edit, but I do enjoy a sleep in. Edit: they are Aus 18 USA 0, France 26 Arg 14, Fiji 19 Ire 15, SAf 14 NZ 7.
The Women’s Sevens starts at an undignified early hour on Monday, 29 July.
Shute Shield teams consider awards boycott after club escapes penalty for breach
The Sydney Morning Herald reports that disgruntled Shute Shield club bosses are considering a boycott of the Ken Catchpole Medal awards next month over a decision by Sydney Rugby Union to not strip points from Eastern Suburbs for a breach of the player points system that serves to equalise talent across the competition.
The controversy kicked-off when Easts fielded a team that, by the competition’s rules, was too strong in their win over Southern Districts in round 11 of the Shute Shield. The Shute Shield operates under a complex player points system, where all players are given a value. Tier 1 Test players are worth 20 points, contracted Super Rugby players are worth 10 points, and various points values below that reflect a player’s first-grade experience and any professional background.
After receiving a complaint, SRU launched an investigation and last week determined Easts had breached the limit against Souths. But in a letter to Shute Shield club bosses, SRU general manager Peter Watkins said Easts would not be penalised, as the club had based Fifita’s reclassification on information from a credible source.
The decision is at odds with SRU’s strong response to a similar breach by Sydney University’s first grade colts team last year, who went over their 40 point limit by a single point for the last 11 minutes in a 57-27 semi-final win. The SRU also found the breach did not impact the result, was due to “inadvertent human error” by a Uni official and “there was no intent to exploit the PP rules”.
But Sydney Uni were still hit with a $1000 fine and had their first grade colts points limit reduced to 35 points for the entire 2024 season.
Gatland ‘has our full support’ says WRU chairman. Kiss of death not appreciated
The BBC reports that Welsh Rugby Union chairman Richard Collier-Keywood says under pressure Wales head coach Warren Gatland “has our full support“. It has been a year to forget for the national men’s team, having slipped to an all-time low of 11th in the world rankings. Wales finished bottom of the Six Nations for the first time in 21 years and lost a summer Test series 2-0 in Australia. While the losing run came to an end in an uncapped match against a second-string Queensland Reds team, another defeat to Fiji in November would be a record-equalling 10th successive international loss.
“If you look at the performances, you can see that some of the players have tried out really well, we’re starting to get strength in depth and some of these players are on their way of becoming regular internationals. It is part of a plan, we’ve asked him to do it and he’s getting on with it, of course we’re going to support him.”
Previously, Wales were used to success under the New Zealander, but since his reappointment Gatland has won only six games in 21 Tests with 15 defeats, a success rate of below 30%. The 60-year-old also came under scrutiny in Australia when he named Cory Hill as captain for their final match against Queensland Reds. Back in 2021, Hill was named among a group of individuals who damaged a woman’s house and caused significant distress, though was not charged by police. Hill ended up withdrawing from the match a few hours before kick-off due to “personal reasons“, and after the game Gatland admitted he had made a mistake.
Montpellier recruits Jordan Uelese
Rugby365 reports that French side Montpellier have announced the signing of hooker Jordan Uelese on a two-year deal. The 27-year-old New Zealand born player (who is probably a good bloke regardless) has been at the Melbourne Rebels for seven seasons.
Uelese earned his first Wallabies cap against South Africa in 2017 and featured in both the 2019 and 2023 World Cups. Uelese will be replacing a fellow Australia international hooker in Brandon Paenga-Amosa who will join the Perth-based Western Force. Uelese joins a host of other high profile (on and off the field) signings at Montpellier which includes England No.8 Billy Vunipola and former Scotland captain and fullback Stuart Hogg.
