Greetings one, greetings all and welcome to another Friday’s Rugby News. It just don’t get no better than this for a rugby fan. A World Cup final, the pointy end of a domestic comp, the TRC very much up for grabs and a drought-breaking Bledisloe victory tantalisingly there for the taking. All of this over one weekend!
Today, let’s roll out a G&GR tradition with ‘The Forward’s Prayer’. Look at our chances across the dutch in ‘Hoodoo Gurus?’ Pay homage to an Aussie rugby icon with ‘Eden Jurassic Park‘. Preview the RWC final in ‘The Power & The Passion’. Run an eye over the other TRC match with ‘Over the Rainbow’. Then put the icing on a huge rugby cake in ‘Friday’s Goss with Hoss’, incredulous I didn’t get to speak at the UN. I have ideas too, sometimes.
The Forward’s Prayer.
The dawn of another Bledisloe series and the roll out of a G&GR tradition (one day it’ll work):
‘Our saviour, who ain’t our seven,
hollowed be thy game.
The Kiwis come, their will gets done,
on turf, as if from rugby heaven.
Give us this day, some bloody plans,
to help roll these Kiwi bastards,
as we forgive those useless backs,
who stuff up their kicks and passes.
And Joe, lead us not into frustration,
but deliver us from Kiwis.
For theirs is the kingdom, the power and rugby glory,
for ever and ever.
Amen’
Hoodoo Gurus?
NZ v Australia. Saturday, 27 September 2:00 AEST. Kick off 3:00pm. On Stan.
Is there anything better than a Bledisloe week? It’s a mixture of ambition tinged with historical anxiety, throw in a pinch of some ‘herb of hope’ that maybe, just maybe, this will finally be our year. And why not I ask you all, why the hell not?
When it comes to ‘sporting hoodoos’ are there any like that of Eden Park (so called because ‘rank shit hole’ was already in use by Tourism South Africa). 39 years since an Australia side has won there, 31 years and 52 consecutive test victories for the the Kiwis at their ‘spiritual home’. It’s a record just begging to be smashed, ain’t it?
In the nearly all black corner:
Let me be crystal, the pressure is all on them. A so-so season thus far by their lofty standards. A crushing weight of expectation from their fans and no doubt falling short of their internal standards as well. This is no imperious AB side of yore, this is a team buckling under the weight of their imperious history. And then there’s the coach, whom many Kiwi pundits have described as ‘the worst since Ian Foster’.
No more are these blokes the rugby demi-gods of yesterday. Sure, there’re a couple of handy toilers among them, but they’re also getting a bit long in the tooth now, lost a yard or two of pace and frankly are a bit ‘meh’. Perhaps the best thing that’s happened to them in the lead up is a change of skippers. Serial red card collector, Scott Barrett, is out with a shoulder injury, paving the way for one Ardie Savea to lead his side. I must admit, he’s proved fairly useful over the years, I’ll give them that.
In the gold corner:
I think this match might be a touch personal for St Joe. I read a few comments attributed to Joe about Robertson ‘manoeuvring’ for the ABs coaching job when Fozzie had it, and St Joe was none too pleased about the shenanigans. Maybe there’s a touch of spice in the coach’s box for this one.
In terms of rugby, our lot are battle hardened, this being test #9 for the season. They are as fit, if not fitter than the Kiwis and are a 90 minute side. They have growing combinations and some injured/ rested stars returning to the fold. And I must admit, I think the XXIII chosen is an absolute cracking side.
On top of all that, the side is playing a style and tempo of game that can beat the Nearlies. Sure they can’t fluff their opening lines and run the nuns down later, but they can match them for points and fitness and tactics and stick with them till the pointy end. And I’ll go one further, they will best them when the final whistle sounds.
Fearless Prediction: Wallabies by 8 and the Eden Park curse forever broken. Arise, Hoodoo Gurus (although I’m a tad nervous about the world’s worst TMO being rostered on for this match).
New Zealand (15-1): Will Jordan; Leroy Carter, Billy Proctor, Jordie Barrett, Caleb Clarke; Beauden Barrett, Cam Roigard; Wallace Sititi, Ardie Savea (capt), Simon Parker; Tupou Vaa’i, Fabian Holland; Tyrel Lomax, Codie Taylor, Ethan de Groot.
Replacements: Samisoni Taukei’aho, Tamaiti Williams, Fletcher Newell, Patrick Tuipulotu, Peter Lakai, Cortez Ratima, Quinn Tupaea, Damian McKenzie
Australia (15-1): Mad Max; Wiz, Johnny Cash, Sticky, Keanu; JOC3.0, Joe Dirt; Dirty Harry, (capt), Chunky, Mongo; FKA, Elsa; The Abattoir, TBA, Big Sexy.
Replacements: Lightning, The Bull, 7As, Maxwell, The Bulldog, TBA#2, Pavlova, Daggers.
Match Officials: Referee: Andrea Piardi (FIR) Assistant Referee 1: Matthew Carley (RFU) Assistant Referee 2: Morné Ferreira (SARU) TMO: Marius Jonker (SARU) FPRO: Andrew Jackson (RFU)
Eden Jurassic Park.
I remember the first time I saw James Slipper. It was before a test at Suncorp and he was wandering round Brisbane’s South Bank relaxing and no doubt settling some nerves before the match. He was early in his career, young, cherub-faced, still had puppy fat and the rugby world was at his feet. The year was 1985, at least it feels that way as ‘Slips’ has been around a while. A long while as it turns out.
‘Big Sexy’ (apparently that’s the nickname he’s bestowed upon himself) runs out for test #150 tomorrow and in doing so not only joins fellow rugby dinosaurs luminaries Sam Whitelock and Alun Wyn Jones, but also becomes the only Australian to do so. Not even the GOAT, Richie McCaw made the 150 mark, retiring on 148 test caps (with only 11 of those matches actually saw him being onside).
From chunky young buck, to grizzled veteran with miles still in the tank. What makes it even more remarkable is that he is a prop. Not one of those hair gelled, powder puffed wannabes out the back, but one of the piggies mucking about in the slop, test-in, test-out.
This is simply a feel good story for one of Oz rugby’s great servants and great guys. Who said all dinosaurs are extinct? Go get em’ Slips, you big beautiful beast. From all at G&GR, congratulations and extremely well done. It’s something you should be, and we certainly are, very proud of.
Let’s hope you crown the milestone with a victor’s beer at fulltime.
The Power & The Passion.
England v Canada. Twickenham Stadium, Sunday, 28 September, 12:30am coverage. Kick off 1:00am AEST on Stan.
A sold out Twickers and a record crowd for a women’s rugby match, ever. The world’s #1 ranked side, England, playing at home on an imperious 32 match winning streak are raging hot favourites, despite having fallen at this very hurdle at the last RWC. The highest paid female players and the most well funded, professionally run women’s rugby program in the world. Opposing them the Canadians. The world’s #2 ranked side. Forced to ‘crowd fund’ just to get to the tournament and cover their expenses, but have played like world beaters, demolishing all who stood in their path, including the Black Ferns. This folks, has all the hallmarks of being something very, very, special. Bugger that: this will be epic.
The English are a comprehensively strong rugby side. They can both bash you with controlled forward batterings, maul their way from 25m out or unleash some electric backs. Up front they have perhaps the best female forward in the game at present in Hannah Botterman. Outstanding at the core roles of a prop, but with a big engine and subtle skills to complement them. Much of the English attack comes from the set piece dominance and metre eating of her work and aggressive ball carries. Not to mention Ellie Kildunne at fullback. Kildunne’s first try against the French was very, very good. But the second try? Wow! The pace, the skills to pick the ball up, at speed, down low, then zag 60m to score untouched was rugby poetry in motion. It’s a try you’ll never get sick of watching over and over.
As for the Canadians, they too are an outstanding team. Perhaps without the individual threats that the English possess, they’re a close knit side, supremely well lead by Sophie de Goede (and if Botterman isn’t the world’s best forward in women’s rugby then de Goede certainly is) and they play as a dangerous collective. Indeed, the Canadians outhustled the Black Ferns in their semi-final and played with pace and precision (especially around the ruck) that the BFs simply couldn’t keep up with or counter.
Without a dog in the fight, I’d love to see Canada win the game and in turn have money flow into the amateur women’s competition back home to allow their game to grow. But, you don’t win 32 games in a row by chance and I can’t help feel that the Red Roses have been building for this moment for four years and will just be that little bit too good. But I’ll be cheering for the Canadians.
Fearless Prediction: England by 12.
Over the Rainbow.
South Africa v Argentina: Over the Rainbow Nation. Sunday, 28 September. 12:00am AEST on Stan.
Oh yeah, there’s another game of TRC this weekend with the Boks hosting Los Pumas in the ancestral lands of the Dutch Dirt Farmer. Fresh from their record demolition of NZ (was it 115-3 or something?).
Coach Rassie has made two personnel changes and one positional switch for this one. Fullback Aphelele Fassi and lock Lood de Jager miss out injured, meaning Damian Willemse goes to #15 and Damian de Allende to start at #12.
Fearless Prediction: I think a draw would be the best result for our Wallabies: 24 – 24.
Springboks (15-1): Damian Willemse; Cheslin Kolbe, Canan Moodie, Damian de Allende, Ethan Hooker; Sacha Feinberg-Mngomezulu, Cobus Reinach; Jasper Wiese, Pieter-Steph du Toit, Siya Kolisi (capt); Ruan Nortje, Eben Etzebeth; Thomas du Toit, Malcolm Marx, Ox Nche
Replacements: Jan-Hendrik Wessels, Boan Venter, Wilco Louw, RG Snyman, Kwagga Smith, Morne van den Berg, Manie Libbok, Andre Esterhuizen
Argentina (15-1): Juan Cruz Mallia, Rodrigo Isgro, Lucio Cinti, Santiago Chocobares, Mateo Carreras, Santiago Carreras, Gonzalo Garcia, Joaquín Oviedo, Marcos Kremer, Pablo Matera, Lucas Paulos, Franco Molina, Joel Sclavi, Julian Montoya (captain), Mayco Vivas.
Replacements: Ignacio Ruiz, Boris Wenger, Francisco Coria Marchetti, Guido Petti, Pedro Rubiolo, Juan Martin Gonzalez, Simon Benitez Cruz, Tomas Albornoz.
Match Officials: Referee: Angus Gardner (RA) Assistant Referee 1: Pierre Brousset (FFR) Assistant Referee 2: Angus Mabey (NZR) TMO: Brett Cronan (RA) FPRO: Damon Murphy (RA)
Friday’s Goss with Hoss.
And then.
Big Sexy ain’t the only one to tick a milestone or two off tomorrow. Joe Dirt McDermott will start in what will be his 50th cap, and finally Ryan Lonergan gets the chance to break the seal for test cap #1, after being named on the bench. I reckon his career will be something special.
AUS, AUS,AUS.
I frigging hate that chant, it makes my skin crawl. Instead this is round three of Super Rugby AUS and regardless of the results, the Force will host the final the week after (what sort of bizzaro universe is this?). This weekend: #2 Tahs (5 points) v #4 Brumbies (0 points). #1 Force (10 points) v #3 Reds (4 points).
The Force can’t be bumped out of #1 spot, so it looks like a Force v Tahs final and yet another trophy for the Premier State.
Rain Cheik?
What’s with all the soft tissue injuries in Wallabies camp of late? Seems only yesterday a few on here would launch into a tirade on Cheika for the same thing. But now? Crickets.
Show me the rand!
Whispers out of SA that Rassie Erasmus has yet to sign a long term extension beyond 2027 until they offer his assistant coaches the same type of longer term commitment. It’s no wonder he’s so revered by his players and assistants.
Bronzed off.
A reminder that NZ and France play for the women’s RWC bronze medal. Saturday, 27 September. 9:12pm AEST on Stan.
Spent no expense.
You’re welcome readers. G&GR spent no expense in supporting Happyman and photographer
extraordinaire Steve Tremain to Narrabri for the SANTOS Festival of Rugby & Food Bowl Fracking. On top of that, our very own KARL will fly the G&GR flag at Eden Park this Saturday and be able to tell his grand kids he was there when the curse was lifted. G&GR has you covered.
Nice Butz.
As KARL will understandably be in an emotionally charged state after the loss, resident Taswegian and official senior citizen Keith ‘Butz’ Butler will have a full review of Bledisloe 1 here on Saturday evening. You’ll also be able to vote for ‘The Golden Gagger’ as well. Thank you KB.
Cry me a river.
stuff.co.nz reports on the ‘tender side’ of Red Roses coach John Mitchell and his propensity to blubber about. Wait till the Canadians beat them, then you’ll see tears.
Fantasy update.
Until next week – c’mon the Wallabies
Hoss – out.
