Well g’day there Gaggers, and welcome to another Friday’s Rugby News. Is it just a coincidence that massive rugby stories are held back for Thursday arvo to capitalise on the 13.68 million readers on a Friday? You be the judge.
Today we charge out of the blocks with ‘Let’s KISS’. Dive into backroom deals and corporate shaftings in ‘Money(hard)ball!’. Settle in to watch the soap opera that is rugby over the dutch for ‘NZ’s Eddie?’ And get the biltong ready for a SA infused ‘Friday’s Goss with Hoss’, currently discussing kickbacks from the ANC.
Let’s KISS.
Lean in for a moment, we need to talk about our expectations as fans. I have a secret to share: the Wallabies aren’t much good. At least for now anyway.
I couldn’t watch the Perth test for a second time in the days immediately after, it was too raw and I was still filthy. Instead, I consumed a lot of articles, insights, Doritos, bourbon and interviews from many a TV pundit and began to ponder just what St Joe and his team might be trying to achieve. What was I missing? Just what didn’t I understand?
And then I was hit with an epiphany. They’re trying to Keep It Simple Stupid. And, like a dog returning to its vomit, so I returned to a replay of the Perth test.
K.I.S.S.
Even an idiot like Yowie knows you don’t build a house roof first and work down; you start with the foundations and build up from there. Brick by brick. And that’s what I found in Perth. Only a nugget or two, sure, but enough to give me a sense of Joeball starting to appear. And it was the constant criticism of the narrowness of our attack that actually caught my eye. Why? Just what was the overall goal? And it hit me: it wasn’t to stretch or beat the Boks, it was designed as the foundation stone of what’s to come. It was repetition for our players, it was to imprint a blueprint. It’s the very same foundation that the Oirish game evolved from. Suddenly, a weight lifted. And no, it wasn’t me getting more Doritos from the pantry, they’d run out already.
K.I.S.S.
Instead it was an understanding that to eventually run this new Wallaby side must first walk. To eventually stretch and deceive opposition D, you must first learn to attack the opposition D. Players must know their core roles. Pods of three must be clear, the tip of the spear, the pillars, the cleaners. The timing, the technique, the discipline. All players must have clear, simple, instructions and roles and be capable of executing them at all times.
K.I.S.S.
And then I found myself getting excited watching the replay. For 40 minutes, in English weather, our lot did ok. Only just ok, but still ok. Our set piece was better, our D was better, our patterns of play were simple, but reasonably well executed. And our discipline was the best it’s been in five years. Three first half penalties conceded.
K.I.S.S.
All the while, some young and inexperienced players are getting experience. Tizzano was terrific. He won’t keep McReight out, but he has a taste now and went ok and will get better. Bell looked good and our side was better for his return. Noah played better, perhaps still too deep, but better.
K.I.S.S.
And perhaps it’s me, the Wallaby fan, who has to keep it the simplest of all. Temper my expectations and instead look for tell-tail signs of growth and improvement that show the side is grasping its roles. I’d invite you all to go back and watch the Perth test again, more so the first half and look with fresh eyes and maybe you’ll see what I saw. Building blocks of something more to come. Among the chaos, there were the signs of Joeball starting to appear and I am genuinely excited to see that evolve.
So more KISS for right now? Yes please.
Money(hard)ball!
News breaking Thursday on The Roar that World Rugby are to RA, what hair bun wearing modern men are to me, anathema.
The news alleges that a deal for RWC2027 has been done between WR and NINE/STAN that excludes RA and instead sees the entire amount (undisclosed as yet) go direct to the leather patch wearing, WR dimwits up north, so they work out how to inject more scrums into the game.
If correct, it’s a staggering affair.
RA had been believed to be packaging the next broadcast rights deal for SR, Wallabies, Wallaroos, 7s AND the RWC into one all encompassing parcel. Any why not? It would have absolutely ensured competitive tension between interested parties. Forced up the price for rights in the non-RWC years and generated an appropriate return to RA. Perhaps enough so, to last a generation, or at least three years if John O’Neill returns as chair. Either or.
However, the same reports states that former RA Chairman, Selector, Player Agent, HR Manager and Capricorn, Hamish ‘The Hammer’ McLennan had secured a guaranteed $100,000,000.00 payment from WR as part our hosting rights contract. If so, that’s a rather large bullet dodged. Or is it?
Carving out the RWC rights from the proposed omni-package, makes the rest of the package rather ‘meh’. The current TV rights deal from NINE/STAN is worth a rather paltry $29m pa. Now that’s less than Nutta’s retainer for his new corporate gig.
Follow me here. If NINE indeed has the RWC rights (having won the rights to the FUKIRs in 25 at heavily reduced prices) why would they offer more than minimum for the rest of the TV rights? If FUX are still open for business (isn’t the Succession guy who owns it now on to his 18th wife and otherwise engaged?), knowing NINE has the RWC, why would they or other parties bother bidding of what’s left over?
My point, I think, is that while $100m is not to be sneezed at, Hammer’s actions while noble, have actually wedged RA proper good. Take the $100m, great, but what about the hit they are absolutely going to cop before and after that for TV rights with no competitive tension and the crown jewels (RWC & BIL) already removed?
Now, naturally, this all hinges on the article from the reporter taught to box from an early age, Christy Doran, being correct. But he does have form with scoops that tend to ring true. And if true, WR have royally rooted RA.
Maybe it’s time for the south to go its own way and chase Saudi money? The north never win anything anyway. If it means our code can thrive, a few dead journos is a small price to pay. I even have a list prepared.
NZ’s ‘Eddie’?
Well, it would appear so.
Just which current international coach has his side playing ho-um, unconvincing rugby and as a result has also sacked 100% of his attack coaching staff this season? Why Eddie Scott Robertson, that’s who.
News breaking yesterday that Robertson and former Blues coach (and until Thursday current AB attack coach), Leon MacDonald, have parted ways due to a different rugby philosophy and they ‘duddunt cluck’. Now, as we all know from our time with the poison dwarf last year, that’s simply code for ‘wuv bin sheet und ut wuz huz fult’.
Sure, Razor has come out and made all the right noises: ‘he is a great bloke, terrific coach, I love him, if times were different we’d marry and raise alpaca and open a small woodworking shop’, but the fact remains, a head coach has been sacked already. How very un-Noo Zulland.
Pass me the popcorn, this could be fun.
Friday’s Goss with Hoss.
Stolen Logies Insightful
For those who ain’t seen it yet, tune in to see Grimace (Sean Maloney), Shoiles, The Bovine Sprinkler and the man who ate Morgan Turinui on STAN on last Monday’s Between 2 Posts.
The team use four stolen Logies to explain (seriously) the targeting of an opposition defence and the plays and tactics for tiring/exposing an opposition D like the Boks. One of the best, most informative 20 minutes of any rugby program I have ever seen. Who said Logies were utter crap and entirely useless? Well done those gents. Good watch.
Foot Long Gone
News yesterday that all round good guy and former Mexican coach, Kevin Foote, misses the rampant assaults, murders and sex offences that Jo’burg’s famous for and returned home to take up the role of Junior Bok coach.
And who could blame him. From a distance and others’ insights, he seems like a much loved, respected, decent and caring man. All this and he’s South African as well! I, for one, am having trouble reconciling that.
Excited Yapp.
Thursday marked exactly 12 months till the start of the 2025 Women’s RWC in the land of warm beer and national dish of curry everything, England. And it seems the best way to prepare for said cup is our Wallaroos being demoted to WXV2 and absolutely walloped in this years test’s. Well according to coach Jo Yapp. Having said that, 12 months is an eternity in rugby. Can’t wait to watch it all unfold. rugby.com.au has more.
Kepler Back Home, Too.
The number of failed SA coaches heading home doesn’t end with just Kevin Foote. Former Force and Rebels flop, Dave ‘Kepler’ Wessels, has been named GM of SA Rugby High Performance. So, with Wessels and Foote back on Bok land, playing the DDFs should be a lot easier after 2027, right?
Boks Back
Having seen off those in gold, super coach Rassie Erasmus has added a mere five RWC winners back into his squad to batter the Blacks. Erasmus has included Steven Kitshoff, Jasper Wiese, Jaden Hendrikse, Andre Esterhuizen and Canan Moodie in the 37 man squad.
Any team that can have Malcolm Marx on the bench is simply extracting the urine.
White Whine
The man who hates oxygen, Jake White, is at it again. This time complaining over the high profile of Bok legends like Siya Kolisi and alleged pistol whipping enthusiast Eben Etzebeth. The two Bok gods appeared at some kind of televised fight in Perth on Saturday and rubbed shoulders with a who’s-who at the event. Now, of course the sky is falling for Jake White with the risk the Boks could become distracted. planetrugby.com has more.
Finals Time
It’s finals time in both Australia’s best club rugby comp, the Shute Shield, and whatever the comp’s called up north.
In Sydney: Randwick v Northern Suburbs. Sat 24th. North Sydney Oval 12.30pm. Easts v Warringah. North Sydney 3.10pm. Winners to meet in GF next week.
Up North: University of Qld (which is the equivalent of a third grade education down here) take on Wests. Saturday GPS Rugby Club 2.40pm. Brothers lie in wait next week, with a grand final spot already secured.
Until next week. Keep it simple stupids.
Hoss – out.
