Ask Bakkies – “I’m sick of making excuses!”

Welcome to our new regular feature where our guest agony aunt Bakkies “Baby Eater” Botha will apply his considerable life coaching and conflict resolution skills to solving your problems. Today’s letter to Bakkies comes from Brisbane.

Dear Bakkies,

I’m a rugby coach who had a great run with an under 19 side some years ago but things have turned pretty sour since then.At the moment I find myself in charge of a the remnants of a team that has fallen apart – quite literally.

Like, I mean, that’s OK and everything, but the problem is, I have to front the media and make excuses for why these guys are so shit.I know it sounds girly, but it’s starting to affect my self-esteem and I’m having trouble sleeping.

It really pisses me because I’m not the one out there missing the tackles, dropping passes, kicking the ball out on the full or doing these funny sort of ‘Riverdancey’ things when I should be running forward.

Please help!!!

Dark-side of the Mooney, Brisbane

Dear Mr Coach,

Hhhmmm, Riverdance? Sounds to me like you in a pickle but I am to offer advice for you which can help.

In my growing up on the high Veldt, we had many times when I did thinks badly and for this I was punished.For this punishment, we had to strip naked and cover-up in pig fat, and stand before everyone – it was shit embarrassing for sure!!Maybe try this for the times you answering media questions with the boys standing in no clothes  in front of you.

Or you could go for Kamp Staaldraad option. A coaching broer of my, Rudolf, used this before a big tournament in 2003.The players are to go down holes in no clothes and have ice water put to thems, after this, a crawl across gravel (nice and sharp), also in no clothes.Finally, take them out to the bush, still in no clothes and make them kill small animals and cook them, the really funny stuff is, they can no eat the animals….hahaha!

Best luck

Bakkies