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Home»Rugby»Slatts’ shout: Doin’ the first 6-pack
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Slatts’ shout: Doin’ the first 6-pack

SlattsBy SlattsSeptember 14, 201117 Comments1 Views
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The first setta games

How good was the first week of the search for TBJ? Bloody, bloody awesome, let me tell you. Most teams showed positive intent, and we nearly had a few upsets. If G&GR wasn’t such an upmarket media channel, I’d say I have a chub on.

As a RWC team/squad it’s always a relief to go into the rectangle with two H’s, one at each end, go back in the sheds for oranges, and then back out into the rectangle with two H’s, one at each end, and emerge after eighty minutes with a W on the stat page. You’d love the game to free flowing, and make some awesome runs, and snot a few opposition players, but, let’s be honest, it’s all about getting the first game out of the way with a W.

XXXX
One 6-pack and no inhibitions, or any cognitive function

It’s kinda like an appearance at a BBQ where you don’t know too many people. It’s always good to get that first six pack outtta the way; you can relax, be yourself and get the job done. That’s how I reckon all teams will be feeling.

Anyhoo, to the footy. So there weren’t any surprise victories, but, let me tell you, I reckon there were some frown lines and grey hairs developed in some very concerned coaching boxes. Frenchy, Ireland, Bokkie and the Northern Reactionaries all had a few ‘tense’ moments.

The highlight for me was the Japan France game. I’m biased, but how good was it to see the Japanese go it with Frenchy. That game had it all. It was a wonderful promotion for the sport. Fast paced, exciting. What I’d call brutally beautiful. It had it all, except an upset. We were all in there screaming for the under-dog. Let me expand on this point.

Grant Walker, Texas Ranger
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice

I was watching Walker, Texas Ranger the other morning, and it was awesome. It was all good v bad reflected in the overall good-guys v bad-guys theme.  But what got me going was when downtown was being exploited by uptown. I’m on the couch screaming into the tv screen for downtown. ‘Caaaaamon downtown! Caaaaamon downtown! You’ll get yours Mr Uptown’, I’m screaming.

And then wifey roars down the hallway with ‘What are you doing, Peter? You sound like you were the other night watching the footy’. Rugby, good rugby like the Japan v France game (and just like Walker, Texas Ranger) is engaging, it moves you. It gets you excited. And we love nothing more than screaming for the underdog. We’ll get our upset soon, fellow punters, very soon. But for now, let’s move on.

Soooooo, I’m all warm-n-fuzzy after watching four games-a-top-rugby, I’m Twittering away (@pjslatts), and then realised up next were the northern reactionaries v the Argies. And all of a sudden I’m flaccid. And I stayed that way for the duration. This was a penalty-a-thon. Not my cuppa.

And just to round of this bit of with a bit of a whinge. What about the Aussie scrum-half getting done for an incorrect feed v Italy? Faaaaaaa-crying-out-loud! If we are going to get serious about the contest for the ball, then we need to remove the rolling maul from the game completely. It’s the biggest obstruction play goin’ ‘round.

I’ve gotta say, I’m pretty energized by the first up offerings. All-and-all, pretty compelling stuff.

And Poms, turn that black jersey right up!

That’s marketing gone on holidays, havin’ the day off, calling it in, coming to work pissed. No. it’s worse than that. A group of marketers come to work pissed, get the CEO on the turps, convince him to call a snap board meeting at, I don’t know, the Pommy equivalent of  the XXXX brewery, and then get the board on the turps too, and then pitch the woozy idea.

Nike England 2011 RWC Replica Away Jersey
Good idea at the time

They wake up the next morning, and find the whole thing has got too big on ‘em. The order has already gone through to China, with three-quarters of it already made, and the first shipment on its way (bloody efficient process, let me tell you!).

The second worst thing about it is us punters have to suffer for a group of pissed workers. The only thing worse could be wearing the bloody things!

Some rules variations to discuss/ponder

As I mentioned last week, I watch rugby (sport) these days to be entertained. From the first week of the search for TBJ (and rugby in general), so what about these options.

  • Field goals only allowed in the last five minutes and/or only worth one point
  • Penalty shots outside the 22, if missed, have one point deducted from your team’s total (if no points on board, oppositions scrum/or lineout at the same point)
  • Ban the maul (it’s out-and-out an obstruction play)
  • Tries worth 9

Enjoy the week’s footy, and caaaaaaarn the Wallabies!


Can’t wait ‘till next week for a dose of Slattery? No wuckers, follow me on Twitter @pjslatts.

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Former World Cup winning Wallaby and QLD Reds' Captain, ‘Slatts’, has been very busy (mostly hangin’ out in Far-Northern-Japan, singin’ Karaoke and drinkin’ Nihonshyu) since his retirement from the game in the late 1990’s. Always keen for a yarn, and an opinion or two, Slatts is rugby commentary’s best keep secret. Dashingly HANDSOME and very intelligent-he’s one for the ladies!

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