Welcome to the holiest day on the Rugby calendar peoples.
Time to set aside petty, trivial matters, like paid employment, childcare, or running of the nation and any of the drudgery of your day-to-day life and dive into what makes life truly bearable: Rugby!
Today we first look at ‘balance’ and start off with ‘Guilty Until Proven Guiltier’. Ask ‘is it me you’re looking for’ in ‘Hello?’ Look for hidden meanings with ‘A Sign?’ Partake in the first ever, exclusive rugbydownunder.com interview in‘He’s ‘Armless’. And finish with a whimper in ‘Friday’s Goss’ with Hoss’, the most trusted Goss with any Hoss on any Friday, anywhere in the world.
Guilty Until Proven Guiltier?
Wow.
So here I was, mind meandering meaninglessly on a Thursday (as usual) & wondering just what the bloody hell I was going to write about for this Friday’s Rugby News, in what has been a fairly ‘scant’ rugby week around the globe and then…..bammo. Thursday afternoons events lights up the internet and its ‘go time’.
The Rudder (‘Rundies’ ???) Crapparazzi were in a complete lather Thursday afternoon, for word had got around, that Eddie from Camp Regret had lost his lolly at his departing presser at the mosquito capital of Australia, Darwin.
For a sense of perspective, first you should view some ‘highlights’ of said presser here.
Now to be fair, work finds me actually ‘working’ at present, so my visits to the universes best fan rugby site in the universe, rugbydownunder.com have been fleeting this week, but what I have seen very much mirrored ‘the tone’ of the questions asked to Eddie yesterday, like:
- ‘We are going to get hammered?’
- ‘How could you not pick Quade?’
- ‘What are they thinking?’
- ‘The Sky is falling’.
- ‘I don’t understand Brexit’.
- ‘What about that Michael guy, who used to play for the Tah’s?’
- ‘Do you think interest rates will rise next RBA meeting?’ &
- ‘How in the hell could you not pick Quade?’
I said last week that I don’t agree with every selection, but by jingo, by crikey, I agree with the thinking & the courage to break 20 years of mediocrity. And I stand by that today. I get there are some brave (unusual) selections. I get that some of these calls are ‘left of centre’ (unusual) and I accept that for many, some of these calls will take fans, pundits and commentators alike well outside their comfort zones. But riddle me this Rudders. Has the squad selected lost any games as yet? Have they missed any tackles yet? Made poor decisions on the field yet? Have they turned in a performance worthy of such mistrust and negativity yet? Have these young men, their coaches & support staff done anything but work hard and prepare to represent our country as best they can in France?
I absolutely reserve the right to lambast, lampoon, loathe or love this squad and the coaching staff based on the 2023 RWC effort, execution & results. Speaking of which, in my humble opinion a semi final appearance would be a solid ‘pass’. But I am prepared to allow them to actually deliver said results on the RWC field of battle before I reach a conclusion.
As for selections, by all means be sceptical, be wary, be disappointed, be concerned, be frustrated, bewildered, befuddled or bemused. I don’t really care. But how bout we all be prepared to give them a chance first, instead of loading the bullets for the growing Australian tradition of: ready, fire, aim.
How about for now, we all be better than that and do a Ted Lasso…………
Hello?
‘I can see it in your thighs, I can see it in your style
You’re all I thought I wanted, to get the ball out wide.
‘Cause you know just how to play, and you know just what to do
But I need to tell you so much, it’s not you.’
Now, for the RDU Hansard, I too find the omission of our seasoned #10 perplexing. Even if ‘Flash’ Gordon is the prodigal son, wouldn’t it make total and utter rugby sense to have Quade as a mentor, replacement and contributor to our 2023 campaign as opposed to, oh I don’t know, say Suli ‘Pauline Hanson’ Vunivalu FFS?
But I defer to an excellent piece I saw written recently (above) and accept that a new rugby dawn has been foisted upon us by Brian & co.
A lot of the ‘negativity’ Thursday and of the week in general, centred around Lazarus & Lee Majors omission from the squad, but it was continued questioning regarding QC on Thursday that got the coach riled and no doubt lead to his admonishment of the hacks assembled (I didn’t get an invite – bloody Williamson).
Let me also be crystal, it is not by his (QC’s) own making, that he finds himself at the centre of the storm of public opinion and tsunami of negativity regarding the squad. QC has reportedly reached out to Flash and genuinely supported him and wished him well and offered an ‘ear’ as needed. Likewise other media reports him doing the same to other squad members and truly reflects the quality of the human that sits behind the rugby player.
However, Eddie also let slip that despite ‘numerous attempts’ to contact QC, none were successful, hence Spanners Foley being named for Aussie, Aussie, Aussie, A, A, A as QC’s availabilities are now uncertain.
Certainly Mr Cooper has every right to be hurt, jaded, disappointed & even pissed off. It’s the world cup, he’s put in a huge effort to overcome injury, get fit and be available for selection. But one would hope, upon a quiet moment of tranquility & reflection, he might just pick up the phone and have a chat with Mr Jones. For who knows what lie ahead. What the almighty has planned for our lot and our #10, for she (God) is a fickle one. What calamities await us in Paris and what service QC might yet play, alah Stephen Donaldson for NZ in 2011, is yet to truly unfold and wouldn’t that be a ‘Lazarus’ story & a half!
Perhaps just answer the phone QC and pose one simple question to Eddie: ‘is it me you’re looking for’
A Sign?
In yet another clear & obvious ‘sign’ for the doubters that the coach with the most winningest record ever in English Rugby & that includes Sir Clive Whingealot. That the coach who is a World Cup winner as an assistant, twice world cup finalist as a head coach and the man directly responsible for the worst rugby movie ever made, The Brighton Miracle (& yes, I’ve seen ‘Invictus’) has lost the plot. Wallabies assistant coach Brad Davies had resigned for ‘personal reasons’ just hours before the team flew out to the land of baguettes & riots on Thursday.
Now, the ‘optics’ of this look completely like the greens rental increase cap proposal, pure unambiguous shite, but if:
a) it was for legitimate ‘personal reasons’ than so be it.
or
b) He was given a ‘DCM’ by RA for performance matters – than so what?
I was reading a brilliant article recently (above) about being innocent until proven guilty, or some such and the reality is the haters gonna hate, the doubters gonna doubt. Me? I am going to keep my powder dry a tad longer. Timing is often times outside our control and is usually 86% fate and 19% timing anyway.
rugby.com.au has more.
He’s ‘Armless.
Today we launch the first of our exclusive* RDU interview series for 2023 and welcome Britains own Venus De Milo, Owen Farrell to these hallowed pages:
H: Venus, welcome to rugbydownunder.com and thank you for making time to talk with us on Friday’s Rugby News.
V: ‘Actually its Owen ‘Oss, I think the Venus bit is a bit ‘arsh. After all, I aint neffer been sentenced or nowt for my tacklin’.
H: True, however Hitler was never charged either, but that doesn’t mean he wasn’t guilty?
V: ‘So you’z comparin me to that bloody psychotic tyrant?
H: You’re right, probably a tad harsh, besides at least he used his ‘arms’ against Europe.
V: ‘That’s very funny ‘Oss’
H: Breaking news outta World Rugby last night Venus, that they intend to appeal that farcical decision to not suspend you. How do you react to that?
V: I think the video evidence speaks for itself ‘Oss.
H: Which bit, can you point to it for me?
V: ‘Sod off’
H: You must admit Venus, when it comes to ‘no arms’ tackles you have serious form and ‘seemingly’ have got away with plenty over the years though?
V: ‘Well no. I would actually wager that its me wot’s been the victim of serial headbutts to my shoulder region ‘Oss. It’s me wots paid a significant physical toll. I mean look at me’.
H: We’ll have to agree to disagree there mate. So to the RWC, after your likely suspension, you probably won’t be back until the Semi Finals, which will be a real shame as England won’t make it past the quarters. Who do you fancy to figure in the SF’s?
V: ‘You’re full of shite ‘Oss, you really think your nafties will go furva than the power & the passion of us Poms’?
H: ‘Think’ – hell no. I know we will.
V: ‘How bout a wager than?’
H: 50,000 pounds sound right?
V: ‘Yep, its a deal’
H: Great, let’s shake on it…..
V: ‘Fook off ‘Oss. I’m done. Your a proper git’.
H: Sorry you think that Venus. Thanks for your time today.
V: ‘Be a good lad & get the door will ya ‘Oss. Having trouble using my arms’.
H: You don’t say!
*interview may have technically not happened.
Friday’s Goss’ with Hoss.
Venus cited again!
Nope, not by astronomers, but by World Rugby. Owen ‘Venus’ Farrell’s disciplinary non-decision is to be appealed. It’s a blight on our game that the all Aussie judiciary panel (were they naturalised Kiwi’s?) not only reversed the red card decision, but somehow decided that there was no case to answer. I read a brilliant piece earlier today (above) about Venus having serious ‘form’ with ‘no arm’ tackles and surely he is looking at 4 games out. Surely!
Last man standing over at rugby.com.au has more.
Just chew it.
Interesting read from the SMH behind the thinking of the Wallabies going to the top end to reconnect and truly understand who & what they represent before they head north. That includes a story and a visit from a croc named ‘Nike’.
Game of Thrones II – The return of Khaleesi.
In pleasing news for fans of The Catholics, their injured skipper Siya Kolisi Targaryen, returns to the fold for a friendly against the Welsh of the 6 Nations comp, Wales this Saturday. planetrugby.com reports the 32yo makes his first appearance since injuring his knee in April. Go well Khaleesi.
You Bloody Legend!
As a ‘plus sized’ man, wait did I just fat-shame myself? As a man who is approximately 8 inches short for his weight, I am happy making it from bed to the ensuite without strenuously pulling something. So to try & comprehend a 500th match for a rugby club is simply mind numbing.
rugby.com.au reports that club president of South Australian side ‘Southern Suburbs’, Mr Antony Owen will chalk up match #500 this Saturday when he dons the red & green for his third grade outing.
On behalf of RDU, to all those Crow Eaters who aren’t stuffing bodies into barrels this weekend, get down to AA Bailey ground and cheer on this frigging LEGEND in his 500th GAME!
#youbloodylegend!
Wildfires burn out
Parole limitations meant I couldn’t get to the game live last week, but I watched it live on STAN. Whilst the Wildfires went don to the premiers Northern Suburbs (23-17) the game was a close run thing. Congrats to all at the club for your terrific season. It’ll stand you in good stead for ’24. I also know a terrific speaker for presentation nights. Well, for a large fee I do.
Not super Maro.
Sir Clive Whingealot has surprisingly aimed some of his ‘observations’ at current English lock, Maro Itoje and his ‘celebrations’ every time they win a penalty. With Sir Clive stating:
‘that the lock “pumps the air like he’s dancing in a nightclub’
“If England win a scrum penalty, almost all the 15 players get together for whooping, hollering and — in Itoje’s case — some pretty dramatic fist-pumping!”
For once I agree with Sir Clive and that includes when Wallabies do it too. And don’t get me started on the ‘head patting’ of an opponent when a mistake is made. That warrants a punch in the face to the perp.
Until next week
Hoss – out.
