Greetings shaggers and welcome to another Friday’s Rugby News as we gather in the shadows of both the SRP finals and the Lions imminent arrival.
Let’s kickstart Friday debating Super Coach status with ‘Cheik mate!’. Preview this weekend’s Super Rugby semi-finals clashes in ‘There can be only one’. Investigate growing whispers at ‘Captain Australia?‘. See how smart we all are in ‘G&GR’s Own’. Your chance to win free stuff in ‘The Lions Down Under’. We create a safe place again for ‘More Fantasy’. And then bid farewell to another working week with ‘Friday’s Goss with Hoss’, now inviting the Labor Party to reassess the Pine Gap arrangement as part of our up yours Seppos ‘Australia First’ policy.
Cheik mate!
A lot of talk last few weeks about who should have the mantle of Australia’s best sporting coach and a couple of worthy candidates have been offered up. First there’s Ange Losthisjobtoo, formerly of Tottenham, who recently won some third-tier cup after finishing at the arse end of the comp that his employment hinged on. Or loig coaching legend Craig ‘what salary cap’ Bellamy at the Storm and his side’s consistent results in always finishing behind Penriff in the Rooty Hill RSL Shield, or whatever it is they play for, as being the best coaches to come from an Oz sporting team. Sure, those two are fair-to-middling plonkers, but best coach with a CV to match? Yeah-nah.
Enter stage right, Mr Michael Cheika.
There has not been a more successful Australian coach, in any code, over the past 20 years than this gent right here. Titles in the northern and southern hemisphere premier competitions. A World Cup final appearance with one nation and a semi-final appearance with another. And now, here he stands at the precipice of winning another northern hemisphere title when his side the Leicester Tigers take on the Bath Avoiders (they’re English, ain’t they?) this Sunday night 11.52pm AEST on Stan.
Park your petty rugby politics and personal prejudices to one side for a moment and look at the facts: this guy is a proven winner. And not only that, he’s done it largely with the players and the squad he inherited. Sure there’s been tinkering on the peripheries, but the success he’s had has been with the cattle that are already in the paddock. I won’t be getting up live to watch it, but I sure will watch the replay, because when in comes to Michael Cheika the guy’s a proven winner. But don’t take my word for it, you can check out Chiek’s Linkedin profile here. Nowaddamin.
There can be only one.
It’s a story as old as time. We arrive at the pointy end of yet another Super Rugby season and there’s only one Aussie team left standing, the ACT feral horses. In a year that saw the Tahs completely underwhelm, again, the Reds choke in the finals, again, the Force being the Force, again, and the Rebels attracting similar sized crowds, again, we should all take a knee and thank those from the frozen tundra for standing tall. For all team news see Happy’s Thursday News, for fearless predictions, venture yonder.
Friday, 13 June 5:05 pm AEST – Crusaders v Blues at Apollo Projects Stadium, Christchurch
OK, so for most on here this game is the rugby equivalent of hugging your sister, it’s hard to get excited about it. But in the context of the Brumbies immediate future there’s much to play for and, hopefully, a Blues win.
In the red corner: I’m a big fan of the Crusaders. They’ve always played sumptuous rugby, rugby with pace, precision, poise and power. As a rugby fan I can’t recall too often walking away thinking ‘that was hard to watch’. They have big, athletic and agile forwards and their backs are more dangerous than a Mexican Beef Wellington. And 2025 has seen them consistently playing their best rugby. Add to that an imperious 30-0 finals record at home and that’s both some team and some history you have to overcome. So they have to be raging favourites don’t they?
In the blue corner: Is it just me, or are the Auckland Blues, perhaps sans Beaudie Barrett, completely unlikeable? Think of HIA scams this season with Sam Nock’s knock! Or the rogueish and completely loveable Reiko Ioane. Who can’t help but smile at this rugby scamp and his throat slitting gestures during the Hakarena. Or his head patting opposition players when they concede a penalty, or when Ioane himself scores a try. Perhaps it’s his gesturing to crowds. Or maybe even his post match humility with Johnny Sexton at fulltime in the RWC. Although to be fair, it was Johnny Sexton, who was the northern hemisphere’s Reiko Ioane, so we’ll let that one slide. But I have as much fondness for the Blues as I do for another dose of tropical crotch rot. I don’t like ’em. Never have. Never will.
But when it comes to this match, a Blues win opens the door for the Brumbies to host the final in Canberra and that can’t be a bad thing for Australian rugby, can it. Especially as a runway to what lies ahead over the next 45 days.
Fearless Prediction: Blues by 1, but sure as spit I won’t be cheering for them one iota.
Referee: James Doleman Assistant Referees: Paul Williams, Fraser Hannon TMO: Richard Kelly
Saturday, 14 June 5:05 pm AEST – Chiefs v ACT Brumbies at FMG Stadium Waikato, Hamilton
What an instant classic this is shaping up as. I was super impressed with the Brumbies last week, they took the emotion out of it and played to script, didn’t panic and put away a white-hot Canes side in the process. They scored scintillating tries like that one to Tom Wright (a move I haven’t seen since the majestic Foley-Beale-Foley effort against the Poms in the 15 RWC). This try was well and truly supported by their inner ‘puppy killer’ instincts with three rolling maul tries, two to Billy Pollard and another to skipper 7As and another prop special from Big Sexy himself, Jimmy Slips, from 28cm out.
The Chiefs, on the other hand, took the odd decision to target the Blues up the eye-diddle-diddle? OK, I understand a side must win the contact zone before they can go wide but, to not play to their strengths while at the same time playing straight into your opponents’ preferred style was, well, odd. And history will show the Blues stayed in the hunt and ultimately stole the chocolates.
To me the Brumbies have many strings yet to pull in this one. A close, brutal, hand-to-hand combat style game will suit them just fine. Equally should it be an up tempo, fast paced, high scoring fixture they’ll be able to go with the Chiefs for the full 80 as well. But last week, perhaps for the first time, I saw Bernie Larkham’s playing style start to shine through in the Brumbies attack. There was subtlety and smarts to it that no other Aussie side can get close to. It was clever, understated and beautiful in its execution, and I can’t help but think we’ll witness more layers to it this weekend and then again when the Brumbies host the final the week after.
I witnessed a composed and clever Brumbies side last week, but also with a real edge to them and I reckon they still have so much more to offer. They’re completely unchanged for this match, so that’s also a real bonus. And I can see their big men in Sideshow Bob and Tom Hooper having a colossal match and creating time and space for Lolo to showcase a few more Bernie specials. I can’t wait.
Fearless Prediction: Brumbies by 8.
Referee: Nic Berry Assistant Referee: Damon Murphy, Jordan Way TMO: Brett Cronan
Captain Australia?
Well, according to some reports he is. AAP started the whispers earlier this week when it suggested Jake ‘Commissioner’ Gordon would be the skipper for the Lions series and it kinda makes sense. Stay with me on this one.
St Joe and RA have made it abundantly clear that the Lions series and the Wallaby side to contest it is not about planning for the future, or developing players for the 27 RWC. The side picked will be charged with one mission only, winning the Tom Richards Cup. End of story. Full stop.
There’ll be no eye to the future or anything other than ring-fencing this series and the side chosen to win the thing. That’s why players like Pistol Pete Samu and Will Skelton are likely to appear in the team. It’s also why players like Ryan Lonergan may have to wait a touch longer for their turn. It’s also why there might just be a change of captain, for now.
With three tests in three weeks, it’s likely St Joe will do two things. One: pick state-based combos like 7As, Pollard and Big Sexy to start one test. And ‘b’: swap them out for Bell, Faessler and Tupou the next (or vice versa). The same goes for loose forward combos with perhaps Sideshow Bob the only constant across the three tests, I can see St Joe picking Dirty Harry Wilson and F-Mac in one and then swap them with ‘The Bulldog’ Tizzano and Brick Champion de Crespigny the next. My point in all this, I think, is that Dirty Harry may not start all tests. Nor will other captaincy candidates like 7As, so therefore the arm band must go to a consistent starter for the Lions series, and that opens up the field somewhat and the best next candidate is Jake Gordon.
For those who can, Stan’s Inside Line had an interview with St Joe on this matter and, ever the politician, St Joe didn’t confirm the reports, nor did he refute them. Interestingly, though, he certainly sang the praises of Gordon as a player and leader.
What’s certain is it’s getting extremely exciting. The Lions arrive in two weeks, national camps have already been held in Perth and Sydney and in Brisbane next week. And should the Ponies get rolled Saturday in NZ we’ll know our 40 man Wallaby squad by Sunday arvo, at least for the Fijian test, with that squad trimmed somewhat to be our final squad for the Lions.
Bring it on.
G&GR’s Own.
We’ll have an article once the 40 man squad is announced, until then, this is the squad, as voted by G&GR faithful in early May.
Props (6): Angus Bell, James Slipper, Allan Alalaatoa, Tom Robertson, Zane Nonggorr, Alex Hodgman
Hookers (3): Matt Faessler, Billy Pollard, Brandon Paenga-Amosa
Second Row (4): Jeremy Williams, Nick Frost, Darcy Swain, Lukhan Salakaia-Loto
Loose Forwards (8): Bob Valetini, Fraser McReight, Harry Wilson, Carlo Tizzano, Nick Champion de Crespigny, Seru Uru, Langi Gleeson, Luke Reimer
Halfbacks (3): Tate McDermott, Ryan Lonergan, Nic White.
Five Eighths (3): Tom Lynagh, Ben Donaldson, James O’Connor.
Outside Backs (8): Tom Wright, Len Ikitau, Andrew Kellaway, Joseph Akuso-Suaalii, Filipo Daugunu, Max Jorgensen, Hunter Paisami, Corey Toole.
And yes, many of you owe me an apology for your selections.
The Lions Down Under.
International award winning Australian cartoonist and author, Mark Lynch, has been kind enough to supply G&GR with three advanced copies of his new book ‘The Lions Down Under’. Which is available to purchase now from New Holland Publishers. Having won 48 international and Australian awards, including National Cartoon of the Year (twice), I can vouch for this cracking read.
With over 40,000 BIL fans soon to arrive on these golden shores, there’s going to be equal doses of rugby and frivolity on offer and Mark’s book is a great place to start off the rugby festivities.
Today I’m offering a chance for three lucky readers of Friday’s Rugby News to win a copy of ‘The Lions Down Under’, personally signed by me and mailed to you. All you need to do in the comments section below is answer one simple question in 25 words or less (or seven more than the average Queenslander knows): Why are Fridays the best day of the rugby week?
Winners will be chosen (nearly) at random and contacted for mailing details.
Thanks very much to Mark Lynch and New Holland Publishers for partnering with G&GR.
More Fantasy.
Yep, it’s back baby. Super Rugby has announced a Fantasy League for The Rugby Championship. After the runaway success of the SRP Fantasy League, G&GR will build our internal competition again, this time with some G&GR merchandise to the top 3 placegetters.
More details coming in July.
Friday’s Goss with Hoss.
The man behind the cup.
I’d encourage you all to do some digging about Tom Richards, the man behind the trophy the Wallabies & Lions will play for: Tom Richards Cup.
As fate would have it, Tom is actually laid to rest in Maitland and I have had the honour of visiting the site a couple of times and find it incredibly humbling and emotional at the same time.
While this Wikipedia page is only a small tidbit on his life and times, if you dig deeper, you’ll find an amazing man who’s legacy lives on over a century later. I’d also highly recommend the book ‘Wallaby Warrior’ by the late and great Greg Growden, as a more comprehensive insight into Richards’ life and deeds.
Howzat!
You messed about and then got out, Howzat. News this week that Tah-wrecking former head coach, Daryl Gibson, has left rugby and taken up a role as High Performance manager with NZ Cricket, which I guess is akin to being a speech writer for Trump, working with no talent. But there you go.
4.0: A rugby gypsy’s journey
JOC 4.0 is about to unveil the latest destination in his rugby journey with whispers he has, or is about to, sign(ed) a 12 month deal with Cheika’s Champions the Leicester Tigers as a replacement for Handre Pollard. 4.0 has reportedly turned down an offer from big spending French outfit Racing 92 to instead join the Tigers under incoming head coach Geoff Parling. stuff.co.nz has more.
Bridge too far?
Digital whispers yesterday that one time AB and multiple Super Rugby winner George Bridge is close to signing with the Farce. Bridge left the Saders in ’22 and has been plying his trade in France since then. To paraphrase those banana benders: Paris one day, arsehole of the world the next. Whispers also abound that the Farce are chasing one T. Tupou to join them, but to get to $1.2m a year with RA’s help would at this point seem a stretch. Unless he obliterates the Lions pack that is. Hmmmm.
No country for old men
When a halfback talks in the forest, does anybody hear?
37yo Sanchez Genia is telling anyone who’ll listen that there’s still life in those creaking old rugby bones and he is really, really keen (aka desperate) to keep playing rugby. Sanchez is reportedly open to coaching, mentoring, playing in Japan or America, or helping with the new PNG rugba loig franchise known as the PNG ‘Keep those rotten Chinese mongrels out of the Pacific’ Lions. Indeed, Sanchez reckons any of the aforementioned options are preferable to actually having to work for a living. rugbycom.au has more
4 South Africans, 3 Kiwis and 3 Aussies walk into a bar
And the barmen yells ‘the Lions are here’. Horrible news for prop Zander Fagerson this week with injury seeing him cut from the Lions squad. Fagerson’s bad news was good news for Canberra born and raised Oirishman, Finlay Bealham, who’s been called into the mix. Congrats to Bealham on what will be an incredible tour and a wonderful experience.
Now in saying that, these may well be famous last words, is it just me or are the Lions kinda ho-hum up front these days? If Tupou can rediscover some form and The Bull, 7As and Big Sexy play as they have been, they could go through more Lions than Whitney Houston on a bender.
Romance: Rugby Style
Is that a box in your pocket or are you glad to see me? A cracking story on stuff.co.nz about Woodend Division 2 halfback and captain, Jayden Young, faking an injury mid-game to get his fiancée and team physiotherapist Estelle Taylor onto the field. Estelle thought she was treating an injury of some sort (although Jayden hadn’t though that far ahead and couldn’t actually describe any injury when asked) instead he duly whipped out an engagement ring and proposed to his startled partner. With Jayden being only a halfback, Estelle took a few minutes to think about it (I mean everybody knows #8 is where the real men lie) but, finally she gave in when the ref used the shot clock for a final answer. This is the sort of rugby story that just makes you smile.
Until next week, go you Brumbies
Hoss -out.
