Greetings one and welcome all to yet another Friday’s Rugby News, the 50 Shades of Grey for rugby lovers. There is so much happening across our great game that today’s episode is so jam packed it comes with a fatigue warning. That said, off we go.
We start with the announcement of the Lions squad with ‘Thank Christ that’s over!’ before previewing the biggest rugby match on the planet this weekend in ‘Those were the days’. We take a squiz at the rest of this week’s SRP at ‘For the rest of you’. Quash your inner demons in ‘The Voice’. Drop in on this weekend’s Wallaroos test in ‘Fern hunting in the Hunter’. Listen for whispers of a fart in the breeze for ‘What about me?’ Wander over to Saffer land where our U20s are going well in ‘Good clean fun’. And finally, get to the end of today’s rugby news with ‘Friday’s Goss with Hoss’, officially ruling myself out of a run for the papacy. For now.
Thank Christ that’s over!
Man that was hard watching. I hope they play rugby better than they promote it. I burned the midnight oil last night to sit up and watch the Lions squad announcement. Think league Footy Show, an empty-ish room with all the buzz of a post election Liberal Party party and there you have the Lions announcement. At least I had EP to blog with during the tediousness. I mean, crossing live to a muralist as they painted the names on the side of a building. How bloody riveting.
First and foremost the Lion skipper has been confirmed as Marjo Itoje. That’s a huge win for the Wallabies with Itoje currently 6:1 on with bookmakers to get 7 yellow cards and 4 reds across the series. That aside, what an incredible honour for Itoje and congratulations to him.
As for the rest of the squad:
Forwards: Tadhg Beirne, Ollie Chessum, Jack Conan, Luke Cowan-Dickie, Scott Cummings, Tom Curry, Ben Earl, Zander Fagerson, Tadhg Furlong, Ellis Genge, Maro Itoje, Ronan Kelleher, Joe McCarthy, Jac Morgan, Henry Pollock, Andrew Porter, James Ryan, Pierre Schoeman, Dan Sheehan, Will Stuart, Josh van der Flier
Backs: Bundee Aki, Elliot Daly, Tommy Freeman, Jamison Gibson-Park, Mack Hansen, Huw Jones, Hugo Keenan, Blair Kinghorn, James Lowe, Alex Mitchell, Garry Ringrose, Finn Russell, Fin Smith, Marcus Smith, Sione Tuipulotu, Duhan van der Merwe, Tomos Williams
The omission of Jamie George was one of note and Caelan Doris wasn’t considered due to injury. The inclusion of Henry Pollock is an interesting one to many down here. No doubt a young man of real potential, but not a large body of work behind him at this point.
The backs seemed to hold few surprises. The temptation to pick Owen Farrell was avoided, likewise George Ford. I find the selection of Elliot Daly odd, but there you go. Fin Smith, Marcus Smith and Finn Russell were all selected. But it’s further out that the Lions look very solid and extremely dangerous. Bundee Aki, James Lowe, Mack Hansen and Sione McTuipulotu combined with Duhan van der Merwe, Huw Jones, Garry Ringrose and co and you have an arsenal of attacking weapons to choose from. Although with so many foreign Lions the likes of Ritchie Mo’unga, Beauden Barrett, Anton Lienert-Brown and co can be considered unlucky not to be selected.
So there it is. The enemy has come out from the shadows and revealed itself. For me the forwards are strong, but not intimidating. But the backs! What am embarrassment of riches. A combination of size, speed, deception and power in the wider channels. In Gibson-Park they have one of the world’s premier #9s, but at #10, well I reckon they’re a tad flaky.
Exactly what this means for Wallaby selectors and selections remains unclear. But in my opinion the Lions backs will rule out the likes of Toole or Muirhead for selection. Bigger bodies are going to be needed to stop their lot. Kicking will also be very important, so that firms ‘Sleepy’ Lynagh into #10 for us and JOC makes #23 for me.
What a great time to be an Aussie rugby fan huh!
As a point of comparison, here’s the Wallabies squad G&GR readers selected last week:
Props (6): Angus Bell, James Slipper, Allan Alalaatoa, Tom Robertson, Zane Nonggorr, Alex Hodgman
Hookers (3): Matt Faessler, Billy Pollard, Brandon Paenga-Amosa
Second Row (4): Jeremy Williams, Nick Frost, Darcy Swain, Lukhan Salakaia-Loto
Loose Forwards (8): Bob Valetini, Fraser McReight, Harry Wilson, Carlo Tizzano, Nick Champion de Crespigny, Seru Uru, Langi Gleeson, Luke Reimer
Halfbacks (3): Tate McDermott, Ryan Lonergan, Nic White.
Five Eighths (3): Tom Lynagh, Ben Donaldson, James O’Connor.
Outside Backs (8): Tom Wright, Len Ikitau, Andrew Kellaway, Joseph Akuso-Suaalii, Filipo Daugunu, Max Jorgensen, Hunter Paisami, Corey Toole.
Those were the days.
Friday May 9 7:35 pm AEST – NSW Waratahs v Queensland Reds at Allianz Stadium, Sydney, on Stan Sport
It’s a story as old as time, the tale of good and evil. First waged when young de facto naturalist couple, Adam and Eve, were tricked by history’s first influencer and future Steve Jobs mentor, Lou Seefer. Lou tricked them into trying Apple, and once they had one they ended up with a draw full of overpriced landfill and from then on they were hooked. Millenia later and that same battle of good and evil will rage in Sydney tonight when the NSW Waratahs host the Coinsland Reds.
You only need to pop into the comments section of Happy’s Thursday’s News to see Reds supporters jockeying for position on the good ship, Blame-a-paluza. You know the story, the ship’s about to set sail for the Loser Islands, stopping at the port of ‘Should-aville’, located near the archipelago of ‘What-about’ and its capital, ‘Dolemacostus’.
Already we have pre-emptive moaning about injuries, the travel from Fiji, the interruptions with their coach, the possible impact of the ref and on and on and on it went. A crescendo of defeatism and sour grapes that even drowned out Peta Credlin for a while. It was like an out of tune banjo solo injected into AC/DC’s Thunderstruck that just never ended.
As for the game, after briefly being interrupted by two days of sunshine, rain is expected for the game with an already sodden ground likely to see both sides favour a kicking-based territory game. From a Wallaby fans perspective it’s great to see Filipo Daugunu back for the Reds. His form pre-injury was outstanding and he’s a lock for the Wallabies squad. Tahs coach Chuckles Mackellar confirmed that some senior Tahs have been dropped (some from the XXIII entirely) to send a clear message about standards and expectations. Indeed stand in skipper Hugh Sinclair has been cut, as too Lol Foketi, with Ben Grant to the pine. On the positive front the Tahs welcome Dave Porecki, Charlie Gamble and Fergus Lee-Warner to the starting side. The work rate of Gamble, the abrasiveness of FLW and the accuracy and calming influence of Porky Porecki will be welcome additions.
Fearless Prediction: Eventually goodliness will triumph over the forces of darkness and evil. Tahs by 28. I’m getting misty just typing it.
For the rest of you.
Ok, so there might be other rugby games this weekend, but largely, nobody cares. All teams on Happy’s Thursday News.
Friday May 9 5:05 pm AEST – Fijian Drua v Blues at HFC Bank Stadium, Suva, Stan Sport
I pick the Drua away they lose, I don’t pick ’em at home, they win. The Blues are the Liberal Party of Super Rugby, should win, but fumble, bumble and drop the ball. Saturday will be its usual 26 degrees, 90% humidity and heavy rain in Suva. So, I guess the Drua win?
Fearless Prediction: Buggered if I know. 24-all draw.
Saturday May 10 5:05 pm AEST – Crusaders v Chiefs at Apollo Projects Stadium, Christchurch, Stan Sport
It’s simple. I want the Crusaders to win every game that’s not against an Aussie side so JOC 3.0 makes the Wallabies squad for the Lions.
Fearless Prediction: Crusaders by 3. JOC to slot a droppy in 80th minute, left footed and into the breeze, from 45 out and on the sideline.
Saturday May 10 7:35 pm AEST – Western Force v ACT Brumbies at HBF Park, Perth, Stan Sport and the Nine Network
Second of the Aussie derbies this weekend. The Force are in a slightly better, but similar position as the Tahs and nearly at last drinks saloon. Sure, the tyranny of distance might be a factor, but the Puppy Killers are at full strength, were outstanding against the Tahs last week and for mine, still the best Aussie side this season. Having said that, I can see this be a really close game.
Fearless Prediction: Ponies by 15. Bench far stronger than the Force.
The Voice.
Interesting story from the SMH last night from Nela Tupou. I think it fair to say Nela wears his heart on his sleeve and after reading his story, I empathise with him. It seems the big unit has the rugby equivalent of the yips and perhaps even, temporarily, lost his love of the game. At least he seems to’ve lost the fun he once experienced and that’s a shame.
Nela speaks of over thinking and questioning all aspects of his game, to the point he almost appears ‘frozen’ with anxiety on the field and perhaps almost scared to express his talent. And that’s a real shame, because he’s been, can and will again be, one of the most devastating props our nation has produced. From all at G&GR Nela, we know you have the talent, we know you’re putting in the work and we know you’ll rise again. Perhaps throw caution to the wind tonight and just chase happiness and fun and all else be damned. You see someone: hit ’em. You want to chip & chase? Kick it. You want to throw a 30m cut-out pass? Then bombs away. Regardless of the result I’d love nothing better than to see a huge grin on your dial at full time.
Go well big man.
For those of you on G&GR that feel they need to reach out, please know you’re not alone on your journey and can contact those below for assistance. I’d invite you to also remember there’s real strength in acknowledging you might need some help:
Or for those in a real existential funk, for a small cash fee and BYO crackers and dip (no Jalapeno please) Yowie has a weekly meeting you can enrol at #yowiesguidetoselfhelpandcartuningsessions
Fern hunting in the Hunter.
O’Reilly Cup: Wallaroos v NZ. Saturday 10th May. McDonald Jones Stadium. Coverage from 2.30pm AEST on STAN.
Fresh from their complete pumping of Fiji last week, the Wallaroos are in my neck of the woods this Saturday when they host the Black Ferns of NZ at McDonald Jones Stadium.
The match day XXIII has a few changes with one of my favourite players in Eva Karpani returning to the front row and little-known newbie, Carol Caslick, getting a start at #15 as Caitlyn Halse is out with a hammy strain. The match also sees the return of local done-good Layne Morgan in the #9 jersey. I am prepared to overlook the fact Morgan comes from from a club locally known as ‘The Slime’ (Merewether-Carlton) as she’s representing us all. But I can only overlook it once.
There’s no doubting the vast improvement in Yapp’s side over the past 12 months. They look fitter, they look to have honed their skills, have a better connection and understanding around what they are attempting; they look engaged and they look happy. That said, the complete demolition of the SRW champions, the Tahs by the Auckland Blues, shows the true nature and scale of the challenge our golden girls face tomorrow.
I think the rugby realist in me would be happy with a competitive and polished showing and an effort that pushes the Black Ferns. The competitor in me though, well that’s a whole different matter.
Hope to see you there. Your shout.
Fearless Prediction: Wallaroos by 1.
Wallaroos Team: 1.Martha Fua 2. Katalina Amosa 3. Eva Karpani 4. Kaitlan Leaney 5. Michaela Leonard 6. Siokapesi Palu (c) 7. Emily Chancellor 8. Tabua Tuinakauvadra 9. Layne Morgan. 10 Tia Hinds 11. Desiree Miller 12. Cecilia Smith 13. Georgina Friedrichs 14. Charlotte Caslick 15. Faitala Moleka Reserves 16. Tania Naden 17. Lydia Kavoa 18. Bridie O’Gorman 19. Tiarah Minns 20. Ashley Marsters 21. Natalie Wright 22. Trilleen Pomare 23. Lori Cramer
Black Ferns: Braxton Sorensen-McGee, Ayesha Leti-I’iga, Amy du Plessis, Sylvia Brunt, Katelyn Vahaakolo, Ruahei Demant (co-capt), Maia Joseph; Kaipo Olsen-Baker, Kennedy Tukuafu (co-capt), Layla Sae, Maiakawanakaulani Roos, Alana Bremner, Tanya Kalounivale, Georgia Ponsonby, Chryss Viliko. Reserves: Atlanta Lolohea, Awhina Tangen-Wainohu, Amy Rule, Maama Mo’onia Vaipulu, Dhys Faleafaga, Iritana Hohaia, Hannah King, Mererangi Paul.
What about me?
Just a coincidence or savvy media targeting? The head of rugba loig, the Horse Guy, yesterday was telling anyone who’d listen how the new loig team in Perth, the North Sydney Bears, could join with the Force and have players swap codes and play for either side on a weekly, in-season basis. And this announcement just happened to be on the day the BIL squad is named. What a coincidence.
Yes, I’m aware of the irony this fart in the wind was designed to create a ‘buzz’ around gaol ball and I’m discussing it, but it also hoodwinked mainstream media into publishing it, and many obliged. They also obliged without stopping for a minute to ponder: ‘what are his motives’, or ‘is it genuine’, let alone ‘could it be done’? Or at the very minimum, what are his motives? But no, none of that was proffered and likely never even contemplated as loig’s ‘Emperor of Emptiness’ struck again.
Perhaps on the precipice of the Lions tour those in gaol ball HQ are suffering from relevancy depravation syndrome? All is not lost though, I am sure a sexual assault, drink driving incident, or gambling controversy is only a moment away for their code. The Horse Guy has called a meeting at Panthers Leagues Club for all stakeholders to discuss. There will be $50 poker machine coupons and access to free legal aid on offer to help bring a crowd.
abc.net.au has all of details from the Horse Guy’s bizarre claims.
Good clean fun.
Argentina v Australia U20s: Saturday 11th May 9.50pm AEST. somewhere in South Africa, on STAN.
Our U20s Australian side are currently in the land of the Dutch Dirt Farmers, taking part in the U20s Rugby Championship and are within touching distance of winning the whole shebang. Fresh from a 29-29 draw (after an 83rd minute try to our side) with the junior cheats of NZ, our boys then had a very impressive, come from behind victory against the baby Boks.
Trailing 14-0 at the break and soon behind 17-0 in the second half, the young Aussies staged a huge comeback, running in four unanswered tries and a penalty, to eventually win the match 24-29. Playing with power and a real pace to their game, they both met the typical power of the SA side, but also managed to go through them at times as well as outflank them with some real gas in the backs.
With one game to go against the FISM U20s (who conceded 75 points in their loss to NZ) the trophy is still very much alive with NZ to play SA.
Good luck to our future Wallabies in their next outing. Go well, get the win, secure the bonus point and you’re a real chance. One thing’s for sure, the pathways RA has worked so hard to implement are certainly bearing fruit.
You can catch a 6 minute highlights package of the boys win on youtube.
Friday’s Goss with Hoss.
Levi’s torn.
Breaking news last night that Maddi Levi has withdrawn from selection contention for the Wallaroos RWC squad this year. Coach Jo Yapp also revealed that Teagan Levi and Bella Nasser had also withdrawn. It would seem that those 7s players who stated they wanted a crack at XVs have all withdrawn from XVs selection after the LA 7s World Championship.
Spear sum chinge brew.
The same nation who turned their back on millions of free dollars from RA and the WA government for an ANZAC test, today announced a 2024 loss of $19.5 million NZD. And this loss despite record revenues of $285,000,000. stuff.co.nz reports:
Stars and Gripes.
Ok, so it was on The Roar, so therefore like Nick Wasiliev cannot be taken seriously, but a story, well more a whisper, that World Rugby wants to incorporate a Seppo side into Super Rugby. Apart from travel, player welfare, costs, time zones and viewing numbers, travel and player welfare, what could possibly go wrong? nine.com.au has more.
Fantasy Teams
We’re nearing the pointy end, with much to play for. Don’t forget to get your tips in now.
If you’ve made it reading this far you’re not from Queensland.
Until next week. Go the Tahs.
Hoss – out.
