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Home»Rugby»A Game of Thrones XV
Rugby

A Game of Thrones XV

Nick HartmanBy Nick HartmanJuly 16, 201722 Comments0 Views
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The Front Row

[one_third last =”no”]

1. Loosehead Prop

xgot 01

Samwell Tarly – Jon Snow’s best buddy is naive as he is round. However, he does have that fat baby face that would make the ref say, “how could I randomly penalise a face like that?”

[/one_third]

[one_third last=”no”]

2. Hooker

Davos Seaworth – His new-found ability to read means Ser Davos has always been trained to be player who needs to read the least.

[/one_third]

[one_third last=”yes”]

3. Tighthead Prop

Varys – He’s niggled his way to the top with diplomacy – can he niggle his fat neck and bald bonce to scrum victory too?
[/one_third]

Second Row

[one_third last=”no”]

4. Lock

Hodor – His height and communication skills make him an ideal lock, while his boy-carrying ability surely translates to ball-carrying ability.

[/one_third]

[one_third last=”yes”]

5. Lock

Brienne of Tarth – Her sense of honour often lets her down at the breakdown, but her rather stilted manner means she’s a great lifting option.

[/one_third]

The Back Row

[one_third last=”no”]

6. Blindside Flanker

Jaime Lannister – That golden hand comes in handy when knocking down lineouts, or reaching around mauls.

[/one_third]

[one_third last=”no”]

7. Openside Flanker

Diana Rigg – This experienced old schemer comes with a wealth of tactics to get over the gain line in international diplomacy and internal politics. She also comes with a Tony Award for Best Actress, which is always handy.

[/one_third]

[one_third last=”yes”]

8. Number 8

The Hound – While his ball-carrying is yet to be tested, he has a pretty interesting character arc. That hints at some underlying pathos, which is always an important characteristic of any good number 8.

[/one_third]

Halves

[one_third last=”no”]

9. Scrumhalf

Littlefinger – Despite not being a big guy, Littlefinger’s slimy nature and ability to piss people off makes him the perfect choice to be a scrumhalf. Displayed a good tactical kick when he punted Lysa Aryn down the sky well.

[/one_third]

[one_third last=”yes”]

10. Flyhalf

Daenarys – Let’s face it, she’s going to take over the main place and marry Jon Snow. She has white hair, he has black hair; her dragons breath fire, his name is Snow and he spends most of his time in north. Song of Ice and Fire and all that. Anyway, she’s flyhalf.

[/one_third]

Centres

[one_third last=”no”]

12. Inside Centre

Jon Snow – He doesn’t know a whole lot, but he does know how to set up a box play. Also teaming up at 10-12 with his future wife.

[/one_third]

[one_third last=”yes”]

13. Outside Centre

Melisandre – “Normal” outside centres like Samu Kerevi barge their way through defences. Melisandre births ghosts out of her vagina to get past defences. To each their own.

[/one_third]

Outside Backs

[one_third last=”no”]

11. Winger

Arya Stark – She’s small, she’s nippy, and she take on other people’s identities (like that of a respectable footballer). Just like every other winger.

[/one_third]

[one_third last=”no”]

14. Winger

Bronn – Not trustworthy enough to put at fullback, the mercenary man has been shunted out to the wing. Has a few street smarts.

[/one_third]

[one_third last=”yes”]

15. Fullback

Cersei – All her children are dead, and she it’s mostly her fault because she’s an absolute bitch. Therefore, in the Mike Brown mold, she’ll be a great fullback.

[/one_third]

 

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Nick Hartman

Hopes to play David Pocock in the inevitable biopic. Lifelong fan of whoever Jarrad Hayne is currently playing for.

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