G’day G&GRs. By God, there was a lot of rugby on last night / early this morning. And still more to come early Monday morning. The sweet spot, for us Rugby lovers, that is for sure. So, this Monday, we’ll look at four of the games: Wallabies v Italy, South Africa v France, The All Blacks v Scotland, and England V Fiji. I will leave Wales V Argentina for RAWF to cover tomorrow. So, prepare yourself for an ‘Uber’ edition, Herr Brisney style. Set up an IV Bag full of Espresso ☕, surge the caffeine, and let’s talk Ruggers!
Italy 26 Defeated Wallabies 19
“Mamma Mia! Wallabies Spaghetti Themselves in Udine” – Well, my dear G&GR faithful, grab your espresso, pour a stiff limoncello, and take a seat — because the Wallabies have just managed to lose again to Italy. Yep. Back-to-back. You could almost hear the collective groan echoing from Udine to Ultimo. In front of a roaring home crowd, the Azzurri pulled off a 26–19 win over a Wallabies outfit that continues to make losing to Tier 2 nations look like performance art. The Italians were sharper, hungrier, and frankly, better all round— and while Australia flirted with control in the first half, the second half was all blue jerseys and broken Aussie hearts.
First Half: The Hope Phase – For a while there, you could squint and almost believe the Wallabies had remembered how to rugby. The return of Carter Gordon injected some actual direction (when he wasn’t thwarted by Jake Gordon dishing up ‘one out’ crap yet again) into the attack, and the early exchanges were decent enough. Italy got on the board first thanks to the Wallabies’ trademark discipline issues — four penalties in the opening ten minutes, because why not? Paolo Garbisi, cool as you like, slotted two of them for a 6–0 lead.
Then the Aussies finally decided to show up. Hooker Matt Faessler did what hookers do best — got himself on the end of a rolling maul and dotted one down. Angus Bell followed soon after with a close-range bash-and-crash try, and suddenly it looked like maybe, just maybe, Australia might not embarrass themselves this week. Fraser McReight (Wallabies’ best player yet again) continued his crusade to singlehandedly save Australian rugby with a few vital turnovers, and the Wallabies took a 12–9 lead into oranges.
Second Half: The Reality Phase – Italy came out after the break with intent. Garbisi levelled things early before Carter Gordon — who’d been lively all night — grabbed a cheeky try off a loose ball and stepped past Monty Ioane. Cue the angry Italian coach Gonzalo Quesada booting the advertising boards in protest. But rugby gods, in their cruel wisdom, decided to remind us that joy is fleeting. Gordon’s quad gave up the ghost, and with him went the Wallabies’ shape, spark, and sanity.
Enter Italy’s wingers of Aussie heritage — Louis Lynagh (yes, Michael’s lad) and Monty Ioane (former Rebel). Lynagh crossed first while Joseph Suaalii sat in the naughty chair for repeated infringements. Ioane then finished beautifully in the corner to give the hosts a 26–19 lead. The Wallabies had their chances — Billy Pollard was held up over the line, and a late surge looked promising. But, in typical fashion, one last turnover killed it off – Game, set, and mamma bloody mia.
Three Things We Learned
- Carter Gordon is the key — but he’s being broken! – When Gordon’s on, the Wallabies actually look like a team with a plan. When he limps off, it all turns to fettuccine. The kid’s got class, but he’s being flogged harder than an Italian espresso machine. Speaking of Gordons, Jake Gordon isn’t our 9. His kicking was poor, and shovelling one out passes the whole game does nothing to introduce our back line into the game.
- The McReight–Valetini combo deserves medals – Once again, those two were the only forwards consistently making an impact. McReight’s turnover work was immense, and Valetini’s carries were brutal. Such a shame about the rest of the pack (Harry Wilson, I am looking at you), who went missing when it mattered.
- Losing to Italy is no longer a shock — and that’s the real problem – The first time stung. This one? It just felt inevitable. The Wallabies are now the rugby equivalent of that mate who promises to turn up on time but never does. Until there’s genuine accountability and consistency, we’ll keep watching this same sad rerun. This isn’t coaching! The players ned to own this.
Final Word – Credit to Italy — disciplined, hungry, and clinical when it counted. As for the Wallabies? They’re running out of excuses, out of direction, and possibly out of fans.
England 38 Defeated Fiji 18
The Soapdodgers give the Fijians a Large Serve of Kava -Served Cold (Unlike Pommy Beer) – Well, folks, the men in white have done it again. England have made it nine straight wins, seeing off a brave but bruised Fijian outfit 38–18 under the grey skies of Twickers. It wasn’t all stiff upper lip, Pimms and cucumber sandwiches, though — Fiji made them work for it, and for a good hour, the visitors had the locals shifting nervously in their padded seats.
At 21–18 with twenty to go, it was game on. But then, as we’ve seen before, England’s bench came rolling in like a herd of reinforced Land Rovers. Borthwick’s “bomb squad” of big boppers did what they do best: scrummaged, mauled, and flattened anything in dark blue. From there, the floodgates opened faster than a pint at last call.
First Half – Swing Low, and Hang On Tight – England started bright enough — Luke Cowan-Dickie crashed over early after a series of pick-and-gos that would’ve made an accountant blush. Fin Smith, taking the reins from George Ford, knocked over the extras and looked sharp enough to make Borthwick’s selection gamble pay off. But Fiji weren’t just there to make up the numbers. Captain Tevita Ikanivere hit back off a maul, and then Caleb Muntz — after missing everything bar the plane to London — got himself a try following a slick move sparked by Josua Tuisova’s trademark wrecking-ball charge. Unfortunately for the Flying Fijians, his kicking radar was set somewhere over the English Channel.
Things swung again when Selestino Ravutaumada got ten in the bin for a brain fade under the high ball, and England made it count. Fin Smith dropped a peach of a cross-kick for young Immanuel Feyi-Waboso, who showed serious wheels and footwork to beat a couple of defenders and touch down. Smith converted, and England took a slender 14–13 lead into oranges.
Second Half – Bench Mob Takes Over – Ellis Genge, looking like a bloke who eats scrums for breakfast, barged over to extend England’s lead early in the second stanza. But Fiji weren’t done — a cheeky lineout move saw Ikanivere grab his double, though Muntz’s conversion yips continued to haunt him. Then came the moment that could’ve changed the game. Simione Kuruvoli crossed under the sticks, and the Fijians were celebrating like it was kava hour in Suva — only for the TMO to spot a knock-on in the build-up. Brutal.
Cue the English power play. Borthwick unleashed the replacements, and Jamie George immediately benefited from a textbook maul try. Henry Arundell then showed blistering pace to chase down a kick and set up field position before Maro Itoje, returning from the pine, tapped and charged over to finish the job. England 38, Fiji 18 — and though the scoreboard looked comfortable, this was far from a walk in the park.
Three Things We Learned from This Game
- England’s bench is the real deal – The so-called “bomb squad” once again flipped the script. Borthwick’s depth up front is now one of England’s biggest weapons — and they used it like a sledgehammer when it mattered.
- Fiji’s flair still shines, but discipline and goal-kicking cost them. They were in it for 60 minutes, but two yellow cards and four missed kicks will kill any upset bid. The talent’s there — they just need to tidy up the polish.
- Fin Smith’s star is on the rise – He managed the game well, kicked smartly, and looked like a long-term answer at ten. George Ford might be glancing over his shoulder after this one.
England march on to ten straight, but Fiji walk away with plenty of pride — and a reminder that they’re not just entertainers anymore. Still, as one might say down at the local after a few pints: “Bloody hell, they made ‘em earn it.”
New Zealand 25 Defeated Scotland 17
All Blacks Edge Brave Scots in Murrayfield Heartbreaker – Well, folks, the old ghosts of Murrayfield continue to haunt the Scots. Despite a brave and rollicking second-half fightback, Scotland’s 120-year itch against the All Blacks remains unscratched. Damian McKenzie, the cheeky grin from Waikato, was once again the difference—his late try and penalty sealing a 25–17 win for New Zealand in a cracking contest that had everything but the fairytale ending the Tartan faithful were dreaming of. It was a match dripping with emotion—Murrayfield celebrating its centenary, the crowd in full voice, and Scotland daring to believe this might finally be the one. But as has been the case since 1905, belief alone wasn’t quite enough.
The First Forty – Black Tide Rising – New Zealand came out like a house on fire. It took all of three minutes before Cam Roigard dotted down under the posts after a clever burst from lock Josh Lord, who was filling in for the injured Scott Barrett. Beauden Barrett (no relation, just equally annoying for opponents) slotted the extras, and it was déjà vu for Scottish fans—staring down a 7-0 deficit before their pints had settled.
A Beauden penalty stretched the lead, and while the Scots huffed and puffed, they just couldn’t convert pressure into points. Then came a yellow card for Leroy Carter for tripping Darcy Graham—an open invitation for Scotland to strike back. But instead, the All Blacks, down a man, pounced again. Wallace Sititi tore down the blindside, bamboozled Graham, and set up Will Jordan—rugby’s answer to a cheat code—for his 44th try in 52 Tests. 17-0 at the half, and the kilted crowd was fearing another blowout.
The Fightback – Scotland Finds Its Spine – But Gregor Townsend’s men came out swinging after oranges. Ewan Ashman muscled over for the first try, and when Kyle Steyn—picked ahead of Duhan van der Merwe—finished off a sweeping backline move, the place was absolutely rocking. Two Russell conversions and suddenly it was 17-14, with the All Blacks looking rattled. Ardie Savea found himself cooling his heels in the bin, and Murrayfield’s decibel meter went off the charts. Finn Russell then levelled the scores at 17-all with a penalty, and for a moment—just a fleeting, glorious moment—it looked like the dam might burst.
But rugby’s a cruel mistress. Darcy Graham’s would-be try was knocked on at the line after a magnificent cover tackle from Roigard. Then, when the Scots had the chance to take the lead, they couldn’t find the killer punch.
The McKenzie Moment – Cue Damian McKenzie. A long kick pinned Scotland deep, a penalty followed, and the All Blacks went to the corner. A few phases later, McKenzie scooped up a loose ball, tiptoed through traffic, and somehow grounded it while two defenders tried to fold him in half. He missed the conversion but iced the game minutes later with a penalty to make it 25-17.
New Zealand keep their Grand Slam dream alive, while Scotland are once again left staring into the Edinburgh drizzle, wondering what more they have to do to finally topple the men in black.
Three Things We Learned
- Scotland can mix it with the big dogs – but still lacks the bite. The Scots played some brilliant footy in the second half. Their attacking shape and tempo had New Zealand wobbling, but that ruthless edge—the kind the All Blacks always seem to have—was missing when it mattered most.
- Damian McKenzie is pure box-office – Whether it’s a chip, a flick, or a scooped-up miracle try, D-Mac just has a knack for delivering under pressure. He’s now firmly reminding selectors why he’s the ultimate utility weapon in black.
- The All Blacks’ discipline is still a worry – Three yellow cards, all avoidable, nearly let Scotland pull off the unthinkable. Against England next week, that could prove costly. But as they say in Kiwi-land, a win’s a win (especially if there are sheep afterwards)—and this one keeps the Slam dream alive.
Ireland 41 Defeated Japan 10
Ireland just gets it done over the Brave Blossoms – Well, that was a strange old game at Lansdowne Road. Ireland walked away 41–10 winners over Japan, but anyone who watched it knows that scoreline flatters the men in green more than a leprechaun’s Tinder profile. Six tries to one on paper — but in reality, it was a scrappy, disjointed, and at times downright sleepy performance from Andy Farrell’s mob.
Japan, fresh off a 61–7 walloping by the Boks last week, came out swinging. They moved the ball quickly, played with intent, and made Ireland look like they were still digesting last night’s Guinness pie for most of the first half. The Irish, fielding eight changes after their loss to New Zealand, took forever to click — and it took a yellow card and a big second-half bench injection before they finally pulled away.
The Slow Start – Things kicked off messily, with both sides fumbling around like first-year Colts at their first pub crawl. Jack Crowley eventually got the scoreboard ticking with a penalty, and then things started to open up when Japan’s Charlie Lawrence was binned for a tip tackle on debutant Tom Farrell. Crowley made the most of it, slicing through for the opening try soon after. Ulster’s Nick Timoney followed up with a second — brushing off a couple of limp tackles to stroll over — and you’d have thought that would be the cue for Ireland to go on a rampage. Not so. Instead, Japan took over the dance floor. Their offloading, width, and tempo had the Irish scrambling, and when Kenji Sato burrowed over for a deserved try (after the ref initially bottled it), the visitors had every right to be chuffed.
By halftime, it was 17–10 after Seung-sin Lee added a penalty and Jacob Stockdale got himself sin-binned for a clumsy head clash. The crowd at Lansdowne was restless, and fair enough too — Ireland looked like they were stuck in second gear and struggling to find the clutch.
The Bench Bails Them Out – Then came the cavalry. Farrell threw on some of his heavy artillery, and suddenly the game shifted. Andrew Porter crashed over early in the second half, Gus McCarthy finished off a rolling maul, and his namesake, Paddy McCarthy, followed with one of his own. The forwards finally took control, and Japan’s legs started to turn to jelly. By the time Sam Prendergast sent Tommy O’Brien away for the final try, the scoreline had ballooned beyond what the Brave Blossoms deserved. Still, a win’s a win — and Farrell will sleep better knowing his bench did the job. But Ireland will know they can’t serve up that sort of slop when South Africa and Australia roll into town next.
Three Things We Learned
- Ireland’s depth saved them — just! – The starting XV looked clunky and short on direction, but the bench changed the tempo. When the big guns came on, Ireland finally looked like Ireland again.
- Japan is better than their scorelines suggest – Despite getting smoked by South Africa last week, Japan showed real ticker here. Their pace and handling caused Ireland genuine problems, especially in that first half.
- Andy Farrell’s got headaches ahead – With so many fringe players failing to fire, Farrell’s selection puzzle for the next two weeks just got harder. Against the Wallabies and the Boks, anything less than clinical will get punished.
A flattering win for Ireland, but the kind that leaves fans muttering into their pint glasses. The Brave Blossoms might have lost on the scoreboard, but they won plenty of respect in Dublin tonight.
Anyway, that is enough rugby for this little black duck, that is for sure. Over to you, GAGRs! Have at it!
