G’day G&GRs. What can I say, it’s my favourite time of the year, Test rugby is back, back with a vengeance. There was more rugby this weekend then you could poke a stick at. In fact soooooo much rugby I am teetering on the edge of divorce for not doing any of Mrs BL’s job list. But alas, I live life on the edge.
So let’s dive in for a bumper edition, Brisney style. I didn’t watch all of them and I’m not greedy, I’ll leave a little for RAWF to cover on Tuesday. So pour a large cup of the good stuff☕, and let’s talk about the game they play in heaven.
Scotland 29 defeated Maori All Blacks 26
Scotland hang on as Māori All Blacks nearly steal it In Whangarei – Well slap my bagpipes and call me Nessie, Scotland have started their Pacific tour with a nail-biter! The men in navy blue held on for dear life in Whangarei, edging the Māori All Blacks 29-26 in front of a vocal sellout crowd at Semenoff Stadium. It was a match that had everything: a flying start, lots of 🧀, chip kicks galore and a classic Scottish panic-stations finish. But when the final whistle blew and the pipers hit full volume, the visitors had done just enough to sneak the bikkies.
How it all went down – The Scots were still rubbing the sleep out of their eyes when the Māori ABs hit them with a haymaker straight off the kickoff. Inside 40 seconds Bailyn Sullivan was throwing chip-and-chase dimes, finding Sam Nock who was over under the sticks before anyone in tartan had broken a sweat. 7–0, thank you very much. But credit where it’s due, the Scots didn’t wilt. About 10 minutes in, fullback Harry Paterson chased down a cheeky grubber to score just millimetres before the dead ball line — proving once again that backs who follow the ball get the bikkies.
A comedy of Māori errors gifted the next try. A high bomb was spilled, and the footy pinballed 50 metres backwards with George Horne eventually pouncing like a Scottish terrier on a loose sausage roll. Try time, and suddenly the tourists were in front. The Māori ABs kept it honest, big Isaia Walker-Leawere muscling over after waves of pressure. Scotland’s Alexander Masibaka had only just come off the pine for his debut before he found himself cooling his heels in the naughty chair — classic welcome to test footy. But even a man down, Scotland still had another trick up their sporran. Arron Reed latched onto a grubber with no one home and trotted over just before the oranges, stretching the lead.
After the break, it was George Horne again, finishing a sizzling team try as the Māori were reduced to 13 blokes. Scotland looked in cruise control, but as every rugby tragic knows: don’t ever count out a Māori comeback. Kurt Eklund got one back with a rolling maul special. Then, with the Scots looking a bit leggy and resembling a bunch of players who’d overdone the midweek haggis, Gideon Wrampling stormed through like a freight train on a broken track to bring it back within three. With 14 to go and the home crowd roaring, it was squeaky bum time. But somehow, Scotland held on, the pipes played louder, and the tourists escaped with a nervy win to start the tour.
Three things we learned
- Don’t blink against the Māori – The Māori All Blacks scored inside 40 seconds and nearly stole it late. These blokes don’t muck around. When they click, they’re electric — especially with Sullivan and Wrampling pulling the strings out wide.
- Scotland’s kicking game Is underrated – Two of their first-half tries came from smart little grubbers in behind. It wasn’t flashy, but it was bloody effective. With Horne and Kinghorn guiding the ship, they’ve clearly got the toolbox to exploit space.
- Discipline will be crucial going forward – Both sides handed out yellow cards like flyers at Queen Street Mall, but the Scots especially looked wobbly when down a man. Against stronger opposition — or when the Māori don’t leak two cards themselves — that could be curtains.
And there you have it — a gutsy, scrappy win for the Scots, but one that raises as many questions as it answers. Next stop: more Pacific madness. Let’s see if the boys in blue can keep the pipes playing.
Japan 24 defeated Wales 19
Welsh woes worsen as Brave Blossoms bloom in the heat – Well folks, if you thought things couldn’t get any worse for Wales, think again. In the stifling sauna that was Kitakyushu, Eddie Jones’s Japan pulled off a classic smash-and-grab, coming from behind to send the Dragons further into the abyss with a 24-19 win. That’s now 18 straight losses for Wales – a grim Guinness World Record no Tier One side wants their name on. After looking fairly sharp in the first forty, Wales folded like a deck chair in the second half, with Japan – led by a mob of fresh faces – finishing all over them like a cheap suit.
First half: all red and rosy – The match kicked off in conditions that would melt a choc-top, a sticky 31°C and humidity you could swim through. Within a minute, things were already going pear-shaped for the visitors, with Ben Carter copping a nasty head knock and leaving the field on a stretcher. Not the return he would’ve dreamed of after missing the Six Nations.
Despite the early blow, Wales looked like they’d finally found the “on” switch. Taulupe Faletau, doing Faletau things, busted the Japanese line to set up Ben Thomas for the opening five-pointer. Lovely stuff. Japan hit back through a slick movement finished by Takuro Matsunaga in the corner, but lost the try-scorer almost straight after to injury. His replacement, poor young Ichigo Nakakusu – on debut – was handed a nightmare welcome, coughing up a penalty try and a yellow card for slapping the ball away with Josh Adams about to dot down. Wales capitalised while he was cooling his heels, with Tom Rogers crossing out wide to make it 19-7 at the oranges. Job done? Not quite.
Second half: Blossoms bite back – Japan came out of the sheds like a different team, and Wales… well, they looked like they’d left their boots behind. The Blossoms thought they had a try early but were pinged for a knock-on, but no matter – they were building nicely. Nakakusu redeemed himself in the 59th minute by finishing off a tidy passage of play to close the gap. And with Lee slotting a penalty soon after, the pressure was all on the visitors. The tension built, and built… until debutant Halatoa Vailea stormed over to put Japan in front with just under 10 to play.
Wales had one final push, but much like their recent form, it fizzled out. Full-time blew and the Brave Blossoms had done it – a cracking win in front of a buzzing home crowd, while Wales were left scratching their heads and searching for answers. Again.
Three things we learned
- Wales are officially lost in the sauce – 18 straight Ls. That’s not a rut – that’s a full-blown crisis. They’re leaderless, confidence-shy, and seem to be carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders. Even with old heads like Faletau showing up, there’s not enough glue holding this team together.
- Eddie’s Blossoms are blooming – Say what you like about Eddie Jones (and Lord knows I have), but his Japan outfit showed guts, flair, and a bit of the ol’ razzle-dazzle. Six debutants, baking heat, and a double-digit deficit? No dramas. That’s character – and it’s building nicely ahead of the next World Cup cycle.
- Youth giveth, and youth taketh away – Nakakusu’s debut was the full rollercoaster – yellow card, penalty try conceded, then a five-pointer to help turn the tide. Proof that Test rugby is brutal, but also the perfect stage for redemption. Expect to hear his name again soon.
There you have it, G&GRs – the Brave Blossoms dancing in the sun, and the Welsh dragging their feet in the mud. As always, thoughts? Rants? Tinfoil hat theories? Sound off below!
All Blacks 31 defeated France 27
The ABs scrape home against gutsy Frogs in Dunedin dogfight – The All Blacks have notched up their 500th Test win, but by crikey, they didn’t make it easy for themselves. They scraped past a spirited, understrength French outfit 31-27 in Dunedin, and if you’re an ABs fan, you’d call that “gritty”. If you’re anyone else, you’d call it “flaky as a day-old meat pie”. Let’s not beat around the ruck – France sent out the kids, eight debutants, blokes you wouldn’t pick out of a baguette lineup. But what they lacked in caps, they made up for in ticker. The Frogs brought energy, enthusiasm and zero respect for the All Black aura, which clearly caught the men in black napping.
Things kicked off crook for the Kiwis. Sevu Reece lasted less than 60 seconds before a head knock sent him off for early oranges. Enter Damian McKenzie from the pine and Will Jordan shuffled to the wing like a punter moving to avoid the sun at Eden Park. France came out firing. A seventh-minute penalty got them on the board, and then #8 Mickael Guillard crashed over under the posts. Bonjour, Dunedin! Les Bleus up 10-zip and looking spicy. New Zealand tried to hit back quickly with Jordie Barrett “scoring” off a break from Cam Roigard – but the TMO came in with a “non” quicker than a French customs officer finding Vegemite in your suitcase. Knock-on. No try.
But don’t worry, the ABs got their mojo back – sort of. Beauden Barrett flung a sweet cut-out to Jordan who slid in for his first, and Tupou Vaa’i barrelled over moments later to give the hosts the lead. Just before the break, Jordie Barrett redeemed himself by plucking a wide ball like a slips fielder and dotted down in the corner. At 21-13 at halftime, most Kiwis thought the ship had been righted. Mais non! France weren’t done yet. The second-half restart looked like a Benny Hill skit – Rieko Ioane spilled it, the Frogs pounced, and Gabin Villière made it a one-point game.
Jordan bagged his second and 40th Test meat pie soon after – not a bad effort for a bloke playing out of position – but the seesaw continued. Replacement Jacobus van Tonder split the D like a hot knife through brie and Cameron Woki finished off to make it 28-27. Villière then got binned for a cynical slapdown (yep, the TMO was back with more drama than a late-night French soap opera), but the ABs couldn’t capitalise. Two disallowed tries later – one for a knock-on and one for obstruction – and the locals were booing the TMO like he’d run over their dog.
Beaudy knocked over a penalty to push it out to 31-27 with six to play, and France threw the kitchen sink. But a knock-on with 90 seconds left ended the dream, and the ABs survived. Just. The All Blacks take a 1-0 lead in the series, but let’s be honest – this was more “Les Bleh” than “Les Bleus” from the home side.
Three things we learned
- Will Jordan is still world-class, even when Plan A falls apart – Two tries and calm under chaos – he shifted from fullback to wing seamlessly. Still one of the best finishers in world rugby.
- The French kids can play – Forget the lack of caps – this lot played with guts and no fear. If this is France’s B-team, Fabien Galthié’s got a very good problem on his hands.
- The All Blacks are still a work in progress – 500 wins is a milestone, but this one won’t go in the scrapbook. The set-piece was shaky, the handling was sloppy, and they looked rattled. Razor’s got some serious work to do if he wants to avoid more near misses against Tier 1 sides.
British & Irish Lions 21 defeated the Waratahs 10
Brave Tahs show Grit but Lions roar louder in Sydney arm wrestle – If you haven’t already done so, I highly recommend reading the Hossman’s game review here. It’s as balanced as you’d expect from the Big Man! To provide a little bit of balance, unlike our ABC, here is the Brisney take on the game. Yep, the scoreline might look tidy for the tourists, but don’t let that fool ya — this one was a proper scrap. In fact it was an exhibition of some really poor ball handling skills and even worse refereeing!
The Lions were made to earn their tries in Sydney with the Tahs bringing more heart than a soapie finale, minus some of the skills. If the Tahs had a few more cattle and a bit of polish on the end of their attacking efforts (like hanging onto the ball), we might be talking about a famous boilover. But alas, close is a lingerie shop without the window.
Let’s get one thing straight, the Lions were nowhere near their slick best. But when you’ve got class operators like Alex Mitchell and Huw Jones running the show, you don’t need to be. Mitchell pulled the strings like a master puppeteer, and Jones ran some angles sharp enough to slice onions. Both Scots were top-notch, with Jones grabbing a brace and Mitchell earning Man of the Match honours. But full credit to the Waratahs, led by Energizer bunny Charlie Gamble and boom youngster Darby Lancaster, they showed mongrel, hustle, and that classic Aussie underdog spirit we all froth over. They rattled the Lions early, tackled like demons, and even led the Lions in “nearly moments.”
Match recap: the good, the gritty and the goneski – The Tahs came in as red-hot underdogs, and clearly didn’t read the script. Teddy Wilson nearly broke the game open early after a Lions fumble, and suddenly it felt like “maybe, just maybe.” But then came that well-worn Glasgow combo — Sione Tuipulotu with a no-look special to Huw Jones, who cut through the line like a hot knife through margarine. Try time.
The Lions scrum kept the screws on but Charlie Gamble kept the Tahs in it, pilfering, tackling, generally being a bloody menace. He thought he had a five-pointer off the back of a rolling maul, but a phantom obstruction call rubbed it out quicker than you can say “TMO bingo.” Of course, in classic footy fashion, the Lions rolled upfield and Jones bagged his second. 14 swing. Shattered dreams. Still, the Tahs didn’t fold. Lancaster, who runs like a winger but hits like a backrower, crashed over after some lovely hands from Tupou and Leota. 14–5 at the break and game very much on.
Momentum carried into the second half, with young hooker Ethan Dobbins muscling over from the back of a maul. Suddenly it was 14–10 and the Lions were sweating harder than a Pom at an Aussie BBQ. But then Alex Mitchell, clearly sick of the nonsense, pulled out the old dummy-and-dart near the ruck and strolled over untouched. Game turned, momentum swung, beers deflated. Even with a 50–22 and a near Ellis Genge try (dropped over the line, thanks for coming), the Lions couldn’t quite bury it. But they didn’t need to, the Tahs just couldn’t crack them again. The visitors held firm, denied a late one for obstruction, and eventually jogged off with the W.
Three things we learned
- Tahs have dog in ‘em – Forget ladder position, forget reputations, this Waratahs mob showed ticker in spades. Gamble and Lancaster were absolute standouts, and if that forward pack had a few more seasoned heads they could’ve pulled off something special.
- Lions not unbeatable (but still bloody good) – The Lions weren’t firing on all cylinders, but their base-level quality is still miles ahead. Mitchell controlled tempo like a maestro, and they punished every little lapse. That’s what Test pedigree looks like.
- Ref watch: TMO loves a party – The obstruction call on Gamble’s try? Borderline. The no-try against the Lions late? Also borderline. If rugby’s aiming to outdo cricket in the “what even is a rule” stakes, we’re nearly there. But hey, at least they were consistently confusing. More on this later.
Wallabies 21 defeated Fiji 18
If you haven’t done so already read the G&GR review of the Wallabies v Fiji here. I’m not going to re-hash my own work, but I’ll leave it to you to look up my view of the players that did themselves favours. And those that didn’t.
Positive
Harry Wilson – Had a captain’s knock. Led from the front, and when things were going to custard in the last 10 mins of the game, got the job done. This man is our captain. Will not hear anymore bullshit from Christy Doorknob about Commissioner Gordon being captain.
Tate McDermott – Tate had a good first half. Quick distribution, good passing! Great sniping. A high tempo game. We struggled when he left the field. This is our 9.
Jeremy Williams – Our man from Western Australia had a solid game around the park. His line pilfering was pretty good, and got some good grunt work done too.
Negative
Noah Lolesio – I think his injury is probably going to take the selection problem out of Joe S’s hands. But Lolly wasn’t up to speed this game. His decision making, especially in that last 1 min before half time was shite.
JAS – The Wallabies Ferrari had a pretty below average game. He was caught out defensively a number of times (mind you he wasn’t the only back that struggled defensively in this game). He had no real tackle busts or super yards gained. The man isn’t looking comfortable yet, and I don’t know if the BIL games are the games to get him there.
Dave Porecki – Like Lolly, Porecki’s HIA might save him from the axe, but his lineout throwing wasn’t exactly stellar in this game.
Overall, I don’t think the post match review tomorrow is going to be fun. To quote Top Gun “The encounter was a victory, but I think that we’ve shown it as an example of what not to do”
Old man shouting at clouds
Where did the TMOs newfound enthusiasm for the spotlight come from? It has us wondering if they’ve been binge-watching reality TV. This weekend’s clashes, particularly the Lions’ narrow escape against the Waratahs and the Wallabies’ nail-biter over Fiji, showcased the TMOs expanded role under the 2025 protocol. In Sydney, the Lions’ 21-10 victory was peppered with TMO interventions, including a disallowed Waratahs try due to obstruction and a scrutinised cleanout by Fergus Lee-Warner that left fans scratching their heads.
Meanwhile, in Newcastle, the Wallabies’ 21-18 win over Fiji was anything but smooth sailing. The match was marred by handling errors and frequent stoppages, with the TMO’s involvement disrupting the game’s flow. Coach Joe Schmidt didn’t mince words, expressing disappointment over the team’s performance and the game’s choppiness. The TMO’s increased authority, intended to support on-field decisions, seemed to overshadow the referee’s role, leading to a fragmented viewing experience.
World Rugby’s intention behind the TMO protocol update was to enhance decision-making accuracy and speed. However, the weekend’s matches suggest that the balance between technological assistance and the game’s natural rhythm is still a work in progress. Fans and players alike are left pondering whether the TMO’s expanded role is a boon or a bane for the sport. As we gear up for the Lions series, let’s hope the TMO finds its rightful place—supporting the game without stealing the show.
Anyway, enough of this old man dribbling crap. Over to you G&GRs. Have at it!
