Greetings, folks, and welcome to the latest addition of absolute drivel spouting from my keyboard. Well, down here in sunny* Melbourne, it’s a slightly early start to the rugby season with the motley crew of referees gathering at Cheltenham Golf Club for a round of deadset cheating taking a liberal approach to social golf etiquette. Anyhoo, we’ll have a gander at the Six Nations results (sorry, EP, and hopefully ‘sorry, not sorry’, KB), Wallaroos (finally) getting paid contracts and the scores from the final Super Rugby trials.
IRELAND v FRANCE
Let’s start with the big one – as Andy Bull wrote in the Guardian, “It’s been years since the championship last had a match between the two best teams in the world, and, if you didn’t know that these two were going to square off against each other all over again this time next year, you might say it would be years more before it throws up another game quite like the one they played here in Dublin. Ireland won it. It was their first victory against France in three years, and the first by anyone, anywhere, since the summer of 2021.
It was a game that spun and twisted in the wind, all wild breaks, walloping collisions, frantic tackles and fingertip passes. It stretched every last sinew, bruised every last bone, drew every last breath. When it was all over, the 57,000-odd fans inside the stadium had just enough sense left to mutter: “Well bloody hell.”
I don’t think I can add much more to this. It certainly was a cracking game of rugby, with over 46 minutes of ball-in-play time. Sure, the French might have forgotten that the ball can go out of the field of play rather than consistent ‘forcings back’, but hey ho. I might add that Wayne Barnes had a pretty bloody good game, too (no referee is perfect, but he’s the most perfectly imperfect ref we have at the moment).
SCOTLAND v WALES
Michael Aylwin writes for the Guardian: “At last we can say it. For the first time since 1996, Scotland are two from two in the championship. And for the first time since 1986, we can say that Scotland followed up their win over England with another over someone else. Maybe that was the most gratifying part of this triumph: the fact that the euphoria of victory over the Auld Enemy was here ridden with maturity to back it up. In so doing, they move neatly on to the shoulder of the mighty Ireland at the top of the table on maximum points, bonus point bagged with a second-half masterclass that yielded four tries.
Wales, so often Scotland’s scourge of late, are not the Wales of recent times. Warren Gatland, whistled up to work his magic once more, dispensed with hundreds of caps for this. Christ Tshiunza was probably the pick of the youngsters here, but he wasn’t the only one to play well. Wales’s deeper problem is that they now find those caps they have borne for so long start to bear down on them. Suddenly, they have a massive rebuild on their hands. They will continue the task bottom of the table, with the weight of everyone else bearing down on them as well.”
Again, not much to say. Scotland finally managed two on the trot (take note, Wobs) and the Welsh are looking like they have a huge task to make it out of the pool in the Bill… fortunately, are themselves dreadful managers of all things corporate rugby. Wazzer definitely has a lot of decisions to make, but it’s almost a case of damned either way.
ENGLAND v ITALY
TBC but hoping for an Italian win! Forza, Italia!
WALLAROOS (FINALLY) GET PROFESSIONAL CONTRACTS
Nathan has pre-written an article for us that I will shamelessly utilise for our benefit.
“The Wallaroos are excited about what the future holds after Rugby Australia confirmed their increased investment into the 15 a side game of over $2 million. A host of players were in attendance as the announcement was made on Saturday morning, hosted by Prime Minister Anthony Albanese at Kirribilli House. The relationship was formed between the Prime Minister and Chairman Hamish McLennan last month, welcoming players, officials and government members for the morning tea. The major talking point from the deal brokered as part of the new CBA is the introduction of central part-time contracts for the Wallaroos with Rugby Australia for the first ever time. Players will earn up to $52,000 as part of the tiered system, along with bringing in a minimum payment for Super W as well as parenting and pregnancy guidelines. It’s the first step towards the eventual professionalism of the program, slated for 2025, with players currently balancing working or studying with their Rugby careers.”
Now, I am still of the opinion that we, as a sport, have to do better. That said, any dollarydoos are better than the current paycheque of diddly squat dollarydoos. It’s a start, and I want to recognise the hard work, but the job is not yet over!
SUPER RUGBY TRIALS
In a match once again seemingly behind a stupid fuqing paywall (seriously, which absolute idiot thought this was a good fuqing idea?), the Ponies have defeated the Rabble 35-33. Although tight at times, the Ponies drew away with two tries to Len Ikitau who ghosted his defenders twice to score. The Rabble scored a consolation try after the siren to bring some more respect to the scoreline.
The Tarts v Reds was a cracker, and I know this because the game was on Stan so I could bloody well watch it! Even if it meant watching the Tarts.
The Waratahs dominated the opening exchanges of the match and were rewarded with the first try of the match through Mahe Vailanu who finished off a rolling maul. The Reds hit back with two tries of their own through Floyd “Butter Fingers” Aubrey and Harry Wilson (bloody good try this with the bulked up figures of McReight and Uru assisting), before Mosese Tuipulotu grabbed one back for the Waratahs, taking advantage of a spilled catch from Reds winger Aubrey. Langi Gleeson came on in the 54th minute for Lachie Swinton but was back on the sidelines only a minute later after he was yellow-carded for a tip tackle on Fraser McReight. The Reds took control of the game and took the lead through tries to Taj Annan and Lawson Creighton but the Waratahs’ newest recruit Nemani Nadolo ensured the Waratahs faithful left happy scoring* the match winner in the 75th minute for a 32-28 loss 33-32 win.
*scorebook says it was a try, it was not. Alas, no TMO so it is what it is.
SUPER W TRIALS
Tarhs v Reds
In hot and humid conditions, the Tahs ran in two tries to one against the Queensland rivals, with neither side able to score in the first 60 minutes of play. Nine players uncapped at Super W level featured for Queensland in what was their first hit-out of 2023. Neither side troubled the scorers in the opening half, with much of the match spent in the middle third of the ground as the 37 degree heat took its toll in Narrabri. The Waratahs had the best attacking opportunities of the first 40 minutes with a number of raids in the Queensland 22, but were ultimately unable to crack the resilient Reds defence. It was the Waratahs who broke the deadlock, Caitlyn Halse crossing out wide to open up a 5 nil lead for the hosts with 20 minutes to play. A penalty to Halse put the score out to 8 nil in the 70th minute, before Tiarna Molloy gave her side the chance to snatch victory in the final minutes. Molloy burrowed through the defence to score Queensland’s first try from close range, with the missed conversion meaning the Reds trailed 8-5 with seven-minutes to play. The Waratahs put the result beyond doubt in the final minutes, a late try to Margot Vella seeing the score finish 13-5.
Ponies v Rebels (they win therefore not Rabble) –
Rebels 36 – Brumbies 12. Can’t find any reports despite a solid three minutes Googling. How dare the Brumbies and Rebels not write something up for me to plagiarise utilise and reference as appropriate.
That’s all, folks! Happy Monday. CM
