Doing Digby
By now you may have heard that Digby Ioane was suspended for 5 weeks (reduced from 8 weeks for an early guilty plea) for a tackle against the Sharks. Luckily he took it well…
In other news, Digby’s been working on how he can fill up his days over the next few weeks. He could work for a charity, maybe mentor some youths (like the Faingaa Twins do with Mission Australia), or he could do something
truly worthwhile and… MODEL! Does anyone want him to model anything? Extensive portfolios can be found here and here.
Quade’s Qualities
Quade Coopers list of admirable traits just keeps growing. His commitment to further education is inspiring for all of us who spent more time than we should have on the sporting field, and not enough time with our noses buried in textbooks. This week he’s teaching us all about statistical analysis, and applying those analyses to interpret real-life situations.
For those of you struggling with the maths here: Because this chap has a following:follower ratio of more than 4:1, that means his value as a tweeter is beneath an arbitrary relevance threshold, hence his “boring as fu_k”-ness. Or to put another way, Quade, with his 276 422 followers, is 691% smarter, funnier, wittier and cooler than this chap. Still with me? Good. Let the lesson continue.
While we’re dealing in percentages, his personal benchmark for returning to play is 110% healed. This means that he won’t return to play until he can beat every single one of his stats from last year by 10%. Yes, 10% more kicks, 10% more tries, 10% more tackles, 10% more successful passes, 10% more missed tackles, 10% more dropped balls, 10% more EVERYTHING!
Inappropriate Tweet of the Week
Formerly known as the Beale tweet of the week, KB is facing some stiff competition from within the Rebels ranks. For the second week running, the winner of the inappropriate tweet of the week is @michael_lipman. I don’t know what can compete with a tweet discussing a team performing fellatio on a donkey.
Tweam (Twitter-Dream) of the Week
This week, the Melbourne Rebels have earned a standing ovation for a job well done. Yes, they held on for their first win of the season,but they also posted some quality tweets. Regardless of which team you support, get following the Rebels players – you won’t be disappointed!
This week there was a trip to Invercargill.
The post-match celebrations 
And other amusing miscellany
Pulitzer Nominations
The most interesting Waratah-related tweets came from Matt Giteau this week. Gits, we love your work, and we really appreciate you trying to resuscitate arguably the dullest social media presence of all the Australian franchises. Unfortunately, these pages operate under eligibility requirements similar to those of the ARU: you must be a current squad member of an Australian Super Rugby franchise to feature on these pages.
Interview Bingo
Well, Benn Robinson was too busy reflecting on his appointment to captain, and official leader of the 8-Man Leadership group, and he completely forgot about his Interview Bingo. Unfortunately the Waratahs seem determined to keep their players out of the Social Pages and only announced the captaincy AFTER the Social Pages had gone to print. Fat Cat’s interview prowess and his prior knowledge of the phrases meant that he only ticked off 3 boxes.
But this week Pagers, we have a treat for you: fresh meat. This week features Brumbies players Joe Tomane and Michael Hooper. For this, we’ve pulled out the big guns (metaphorically of course), and brushed off the Will Genia Bingo Card. Yes Pagers, this is the brass-ring of Bingo cards. The excitement is palpable, the atmosphere electric.
