The Chewsday Chew – Aqua Red Rugby (Ep11-24)

Konichiwa you pack of besmirched rugger-luvvers the world over.

I hope this missive from the depths of my somewhat morbid consciousness finds you well, fit, fat, happy and contented in your daily lives. As always, I’ll insert here that this is a fan-run site and contributions are more than welcome. Barring the merest check for decency and decorum, feel free to reach out to me at HERE be it with an article an idea, or an opinion piece. And there’s also the ‘Submit a Story’ option on the home page. So feel free to have a crack as the more opinions and ideas and folk to share the load, the merrier we (and our wives) all are.

We just had the second short week of byes in Super Rugby and didn’t it throw up some interesting items? That means we are 8 rounds down out of 15 scheduled, with then 3 weeks of finals. So with round 9 looming it’s fair to say we’re basically halfway through the Super season and it’s make or break time for a few teams and people within them. Perhaps after round 10 I’ll do another Aussie Team of the Tourney. But anyway, without further ado, let’s rip into the Team of the Week for Round 8 and try and sift some chaff from the hay.

Nutta’s Aussie Super Team of the Week (Rd8):

A reminder on selection criteria: as long as you played for an Aussie Super franchise, you can get picked.

1. Matt Gibbon – reliable, rock solid meat and potatoes and useful around ground.
2. Julian Heaven – he’s really seizing his opportunity.
3. Sam Talakai – had a great captain’s knock with a good set-piece and no missed tackles.
4. Jed Holloway – he’s simply becoming a dominant player.
5. Lukhan Salakaia-Loto – likewise to Jed, he’s building a mortgage on the jersey.
6. Josh Kemeny – he was absolutely everywhere for the Rebels.
7. Charlie Gamble – again he was over near every ball that he wasn’t under from tackling.
8. Vaiolini Ekuasi – had a physically very domineering game with some good hands.
9. Ryan Louwrens – was smart, accurate and made no errors I saw.
10. Carter Gordon – we saw a bit of a return of last year’s form in that match.
11. Darby Lancaster – just keeps getting better.
12. Hunter Paisami – played well on an otherwise highly forgettable night.
13. Josh Flook – t’was a shame his try was disallowed.
14. Dylan Pietsch – had a shocking spill from the kick-off, but was otherwise very busy.
15. Andrew Kellaway – reminded us all that he really can play.
16. Matt Faessler – fell off the radar for a few weeks, but is a reliable no2.
17. Peni Ravai – as ever, he damn near blew a gasket with energy and effort.
18. Jeffery Toomaga-Allen – just such a classy footballer.
19. Ryan Smith – he quietly chews work unheralded, so earnt a nod for his 50th cap.
20. Liam Wright – squeezed out Hanigan for mine. He’s just such a smart footballer.
21. Jake Gordon – led his team well, was generally accurate and Tate got vino’d
22. Will Harrison – deserves a jersey of some sort for calm execution under pressure.
23. Filipo Daugunu – he’s making a solid fist of having to play 13 so offers good utility.

Other Thoughts around TotW:

• I don’t like Jake Gordon’s intercept method. To be fair, plenty of no9s try to blitz intercepts, and some are quite good at it. Faf d’Twerp is a great example of it. However Faf is smarter about his efforts as he makes his attempts far closer to the ruck, so if he misses, the density of defenders in the tighter channels means he doesn’t over-expose his team’s D-line. But not only did The Commissioner go for three (?) midfield intercepts on Friday night and miss them all, but his attempts, being much wider in mid-field, left a bloody great hole in the D-line each time that others had to scramble to cover. And if a fat old has-been frontie like me has spotted this, please don’t think that others far more adept than I are not likewise observant.
• Any takers on what Tate and/or McReight will get by way of suspension for their red cards on the weekend against Moana? Seeing as Jone Koroiduadua finished up with a mere fortnight for what is one of the accepted ‘no no’ acts of rugby (in general parlance, headbutting ranks right up there with biting and eye-gouging), I’m thinking the Reds lads must be about to get a trip to the gallows surely.

Late edit: As per the consistency of the judicial process we’ve all come to admire, both lads got six weeks for a mid range offence, cut to three weeks for early plea. McReight gets another week reduction for going to tackle school, but there’s no swinging arm school for Tate to attend. So Macca gets a fortnight and Tate sits out three weeks. Well, that’s both consistent and fair isn’t it?

• Aside from the cards and the loss, the Reds general play is just killing me at the moment. Rawfy said plenty about it yesterday, but from seemingly being competition challengers a few weeks ago, they have fallen to I-don’t-know-what. Such basic handling and decision-making errors as we saw on the weekend were enough to make the gods weep. I think a few longer-serving lads in the Pink Koalas outfit may be happy it isn’t Brad ‘The Reverend’ Thorn who’s running training with them this week as I would expect there to be more than just sweat on the ground if so.
• For all of their glaringly obvious issues, congratulations to the NSW Waratahs for a gutsy win on Friday night. It was grand to see them dig in and really pull it together as a team when they needed to. And it was great to see now we may have another young 10 in Harrison who, along with Lolesio, can quietly muster his skills and nail crucial points off the boot when it really counts. Time will tell, and he is not the Messiah (we don’t even know if he is a naughty little boy yet), but his calm head and steady skills in heady circumstances were noteworthy.

Random Thoughts of a Random Guy:

I spent Saturday afternoon/evening at Granville Park watching the Western Sydney Two Blues play West Harbour Pirates in the Shute Shield 1st Grade game and then the women’s fixture. It reminded me of the truism of how things change over time, in that West Harbour used to be called “Western Suburbs” back when Burwood and Concord was actually Sydney’s west. And Western Sydney Two Blues is an extension of that in that it’s a misnomer of a name to disguise the fact that Penrith Emus are gone from Sydney’s premier competition.

For clarity, the Two Blues are NOT representing west of Sydney. They represent the Parramatta area. They always have, and do so proudly I might add. Anyone who can read a map can see that Parramatta is geographically all but the dead centre of Sydney. To be precise, it’s 36km from Church Street Parramatta to Bondi Beach in the east, whereas it’s 38km from Church Street to Mulgoa Road in the west. So Parramatta is basically bang in the middle of the Sydney basin; it’s not west. Seriously, the only folk who’d consider Parramatta to be western Sydney these days are the sort of folk who don’t ever cross ANZAC parade, who clearly don’t see the need or the opportunity among the +2 million people (and +700 schools ) of hairy unwashed denizens of the actual west of Sydney to have a premier rugby club or brand (obviously). But, unfortunately, those so blind control the bloody game in Sydney and NSW. More’s the pity.

But nonetheless, the quality of the rugby played on Saturday, the athleticism on display and the mis-mash of Pacific cultures, music, dress and food on offer was only surpassed in its diversity by its range of flavour, its abundance and the generosity of its folk. It was a thoroughly great afternoon/evening out in the Sydney sunshine.

The Shute 1st grade match was initially a see-sawing affair in which the Two Blues overcame their weaker scrum and lineout to eventually get ahead just before halftime and then skip away after oranges to post a convincing 52-36 win over a gallant West Harbour who, to be fair, had won all the minor grades leading up to 1st Grade and so had been mad keen on a clean sweep day. Alas for the West Harbour Pirates, a clean sweep it was not to be. For the Two Blues, despite the physically unmistakable form of Taqele Naiyaravoro on the wing attracting play, players and spectators all day, it was Sitiveni Moceidreke who put on a masterclass through the centres and Heremoni Nepo who took man of the match honours wearing jersey 7.

The women’s match was an absolute epic struggle from start to finish. With what can only be described as ‘overly enthusiastic defence’ from both sides resulting in a continual stream of high tackle penalties, the first stanza was a tense but ordinary spectacle in truth, which ended with one Two Blue in the naughty-chair and the Pirates having a 7-0 lead courtesy of a penalty try.

However, despite a Pirate (Pirette perhaps?) also having a spell in the naughty chair, the 2nd half saw players and referee largely settle down and rip into what quickly became an enthralling match. Each team posted a well-constructed try (no lucky breaks, both were constructed tries) and with the clock ticking down on full time, the earlier penalty try meant the score of 12-7 favoured West Harbour. Thus the Pirates looked to have the game on a plate for the taking if they could hold their nerve and possession.

But the Two Blues rallied, and put together 10 minutes of hard pressure, direct running and continuous phases inside the Pirates quarter. Heartbreakingly, the Two Blues seemingly blew their chances some 5 minutes from full-time when their otherwise unmarked and flying No11 Emma Garraway had a tantalisingly open tryline in front of her, only for the crucial linking last pass to be an uncatchable bullet to her feet. But the Two Blues regathered their nerve and their sustained pressure was finally rewarded with a literal last minute try to fullback cum centre Breeze Es’e who jinked and darted through and over the chalk, just to the left of the sticks. And with Mya Muller nailing her second conversion of the evening to the sound of the old-fashioned hand-wrung school bell, Parramatta’s finest pinched the local derby bragging rights and the Vodka Cruisers by 14-12 to the raucous roar of a well-populated, if somewhat by then well-lubricated, grandstand.

And while the smiles and hugs between opponents after the whistle were genuine, with many pics between friends and extended families wearing both jerseys, I’m sure the intensity and close result of this iteration to local derby history will only add to the ferocity of Two Blue v Pirates encounters in future.

And speaking of history and derbies around this weekend’s fixtures, it was noteworthy that the one just gone saw the anniversary of the final Five Nations championship fixture before the start of the Great War. England beat France 39-13 on 13 April 1914, scoring nine tries and securing the Grand Slam, before the madness began 105 days later. I wonder how many of the lads who took the field that day, made it to 11 November 1918? Lest we forget.

Lastly for today, well done to the Drummoyne Dirty Reds for winning the AquaRugby last Friday. For those who may not know, AquaRugby is an annual 2 day rugby event/festival played on a 30 x 30 metre pitch moored in Sydney’s Darling Harbour with the tryline and sidelines being the edges of the barge. It’s a few days of good fun, fundraising and a quiet bevvy or two in very trying and difficult surroundings. Mosman Rugby took out Day 1 while Drummoyne Dirty Reds took out Friday, and the tournament overall, against much more vaunted club and invitational teams. So well done to the subbies teams. And the Women’s champs were the Pasifika invitational side. For those interested in more details, find the link HERE. But if you’re so motivated, keep an eye out for it and get involved in-future as it’s a cracker of a few days, doing God’s-work, in an absolutely iconic venue.

That will do from me this week. Comment away below with how I got the TotW right or wrong, or whatever else grabs your fancy rugbywise. And get around your local club this weekend, even if it’s to run the touchline for the Under 8s or maybe help out on the BBQ for a spell.

And as I heard one lunatic remind me over the weekend, don’t ever forget that “Saturday is rugby day!”