Today G&GR welcomes long time member and first time contributor, John Tynan, to the writing ranks. Take it away JT:
Welcome to The Pub Test, where rugby opinions flow as freely as the beer and everyone’s an expert by their third schooner. Each week, I’ll be sharing what’s been bouncing around the bar at our little brewpub in SE Queensland where the Reds reign supreme and every patron’s got a ‘take’ hotter than a Sunday summer session.
As your publican, I’ll be adjudicating on what passes (or fails) the pub test, that great Aussie tradition of deciding if something makes sense over a cold one. From the wisdom of the regulars to the rants of ring-ins, we’ll cover everything from Super Rugby to the Six Nations, with plenty of Tahs sledging thrown in for good measure.
We’re high on opinions and big calls while also being low on facts and stats, but never let truth get in the way of a good pub yarn. Pull up a stool, grab a beer, and let’s see what’s got the pub talking this week.
The Regulars Corner
In The Regulars Corner this week, we’ve got a surfeit of Les Pommes for some reason, but everyone’s cash fits in the till if ya know what I mean:
Dramatis Personae:
The Publican: The older and slower he got, the lower the number on his back got.
Stan: A rugby tragic who has just got too dumb to stop (could be something to do with being a prop). 50 seasons and counting….
Red Dog: A genuine curtains and bedspread ginger who identifies as a back. Always looks like he’s running on a treadmill.
Woody: Crash ball centre, a legend in his own lunchtime. Solid 3rd XV starter, and also a Pom.
Ex-Rebel: A founding member of the Melbourne Rebels. Somewhat circumstantially, a founding member of the recently formed Rugby Australia Appreciation Society. Also Les Pommes.
Jim: Wants to rebuild the wall to keep the Scots out (presumably around the equator these days). Another Les Pommes.
What’s on Tap?
Red Red Wine
As has already been written about on G&GR, the Mighty Reds opened their account with a home game against Ardie Savea’s Moana Pasifika (ASMP). It’s fair to say that there was general optimism about the Reds, but as the Poms put it, ‘It’s the hope that kills you!’, and none of the Regulars were getting ahead of themselves in the lead up.
There was much mixed consensus on the outcome of the game, which fed into the pre-game sentiment of optimism but with realistic hopes. Victory with 8 tries can’t be sneezed at, but the punters feel like there are some significant concerns about consistency, especially when ASMP put us under significant pressure.
Publican’s View: No idea what to make of the game. Some mentions of rust and first game, and while that’s the public message I’m not buying into it. I imagine it’s not going to be comfortable at training and review time.
Verdict: The Reds are Top Two Material: doesn’t pass The Pub Test at this stage.
Spring Loaded Arms
The talk leading into the season was of the efforts by the tournament organisers to instruct match officials to both:
(a) increase time in play and,
(b) somewhat curtail the TV Officials’ remit to intervene.
Now, one swallow does not a baby make, and while we are seeing the ball in play time up, officiating still seems to be riling the punters up, and the real measure will be at the end of the season.
In the meantime, it was interesting to hear Les Kiss’ post-match comments where he felt they were ‘refereed hard’. At the time, our mate Stan commented that from the sideline it was like the ref was trying to keep ASMP in the game. I felt that it was refereeing against the momentum, and found myself thinking the same thing in the Brums v Twiggy Forrest Billionaire Playthings.
I’ll be up front in saying I’ve never really liked/appreciated/understood Ben O’Keeffe’s refereeing, but it again felt like he was refereeing against the momentum and that the Brumbies maybe had a photo of him in a compromising moment. Ex-Rebel piped in from the Regulars Corner that ‘It’s pretty unfortunate that the over officiating hasn’t improved. It’s as if the refs have never played!’
Verdict: The Refereeing has improved: doesn’t pass The Pub Test at this
stage (maybe it never will!)
Lions Watch
Most of the interest this week, probably because I am overweight in Les Pommes, was on the match at the stadium formerly known as Twickers between ‘Borthwick’s Boys’ and the ‘Southern Hemisphere All Stars’, formerly known as Scotland.
This game has been covered elsewhere on G&GR as well, so we’ll keep to high level observations and pivot into Lions observations – credible or otherwise. It’s worth starting with the point that I saw the score and 3 tries to one before I watched the game, and immediately accused the Soap Dodgers of traditional English rugby. However on the viewing, I’d have to say it wasn’t like that at all, and was quite an entertaining game of rugby.
Both sides made opportunities, and both sides blew opportunities. The English try that WAS awarded looked dodgy and Monsieur elected to ignore the TMO (see refereeing above). Finn Russell missed all his conversions – granted none were straightforward, but even 1 from 3 would’ve iced their game.
You’d have to say the English defence (aside from letting in 3 tries) was the tipping point, not least the 16 phase effort at about 76 minutes. Borthwick’s Boys seem to have gained a bit of an extra leg in this department and it’s proving the 1 percent increase that is changing the result at the elite level.
Lions Stock Watch:
- Fin Smith: Woody predicted prior to the game that ‘the other Fin (i.e.,
Smith) will take a step closer to a starting 10 position for the Lions this winter’,
and he’s probably got that right. Verdict: played himself in. - Finn Russell: Has the skill of always looking great in motion, but I’m not
convinced that he accomplished much. Verdict: dirt tracker. - Gareth Anscombe: First game back for Welsh had bigger concerns and the Irish lad
had a bit of a blip as well. - Marcus Smith: Probably won’t get a look in without injury, and is now a victim
of how do they fit him in the team? Fullback isn’t it I don’t think, but he’s also
not a 12. Verdict: dirt tracker - Blair Kinghorn: Looks like he’s on skates and just glides around the park, but
was pretty error-prone for his standards. Verdict: Irish get preference - Duhan van der Merwe: Always attracts multiple defenders and almost always
manages to get his hands free when he isn’t going over or around them. His
touches created a number of breaks and even a try because of this.
Verdict: played himself in. - Maro Itoje: Looks to have lost a yard or two of pace and isn’t as effective at
defensive breakdown as he has been in the past. While it’s OK for England,
I’m not sure there’s room in the Lions for it. Verdict: Dirt tracker - Ollie Chessum: On the other hand is perpetual motion and was busy all over
the park. Verdict: played himself in.
Last Orders: The Tasting Paddle
We finish on a quick, short take of variety across the taps to give you a flavour of the bigger bullshit being spoken:
- Beware the Kiwis: The Chiefs are on absolute fire, moving from 5th gear at 17-17 to 6th gear overdrive to put the Crusaders to the sword.
- Staying in New Zealand: I don’t think anyone expected the Blues to be 0-2, but we’ll take it.
- Maximus (de Lutiis) Gluteus: Was strong both in the scrum and around the park. A good debut for a young prop.
- Still on the Reds: Great to see two small-statured players – The Junkyard Dog and Michael’s Boy defending above their weight grade.
- Red Dog chimed in: ‘Remember when defence used to be a thing?’ There were a number of comments from players across the weekend commenting on fatigue due to ball in play, which – either correct or not – is likely leading to the scorelines.
- Australian skills: Especially under duress, are we still a step behind the Kiwi skills, is that going to be exposed when we start touring there?
- Big call of the week: The Brumbies aren’t the Brumbies of previous years, and Larkham isn’t as good a coach as everyone thinks.
Pull up a stool again next week when we’ll be introducing the ‘Tah Tear Counter’ and more from the Regulars Corner.*
