Rugby

Flippie thinks the Wallabies are soft moffies

Flippie thinks the Wallabies are soft moffies

 

Jou bliksem, the Aussie skaapfokkers are kak! That’s the general view of the archetypal van der Merwe, Flippie of Krugersdorp about Saturday’s test in the West.

He’ll be phoning his oom Jannie, who lives in Perthfontein, to see how the Bokke are going at training in the lead-up. Oom Jannie is a motor mechanic in Claremont so he’ll be able to pop down in the Zola Budd to Nedlands footy club to see them in action just now. Maybe a bit of jetlag but nothing some snotklap on the park and a lekker feed won’t put right. Snor will have them right on edge.

Flippie thinks that the Bokke will have home ground advantage in Perthfontein. So many ex-pats it could be a green and gold tsunami, of the Saffa kind.

Flippie reckons the Aussie are just not up to it this year….in fact, not up to it most years, but this year in particular. He’s more concerned about the stats. He says the only reason the All Blacks have got a better statistical record than the Springboks is that they play the moffie Wallabies too often.

As for Al Baxter, he can’t believe that this oke has got 69 test caps. Front rankers have got to be tough, this guy is nooit! Not a tough bone in his body. Just think what they would have done with him at Kamp Staaldraad?

Flippie is a bit wary of the Wallabies sometimes, thinking they have a bit of rat cunning. He’s frightened that they’ll sneak in the old Summit ballas again. Percy and few other kickers have struggled with it in the past and their stats were way below average. He thinks the Aussie could remain in the hunt if Morne has to use this vrat of a ball.

He feels for the Wallabies with the loss of Barnes and Sharpe. He has a lot of time for Barnes, an intelligent player and superb defender. He was praying that the selectors would put in Quade Cooper or Kurtley Beale so that JVD and Jacques would have a funksie!

As for Dingo, Flippie thinks he was made to look a better coach than he is by a Crusaders team that virtually picked itself . But with the lack of quality in Aussie he is starting to look decidedly average and his comments aren’t too far away from Snor’s during the Lion’s series. Thinking that Mumm or Chisholm can confuse Victor and help them win their own lineout ball, let alone compete with the Bokke lineout….Ag, man….he must be on dagga! Flippie says ‘This is not going to be a lekker weekend for the Aussie’.

Flippie reckons the loss of these players will be a perfect excuse for the whinging Aussies and their fokken blatantly biased commentators to use, should they loose on Saturday. He says Kearns and that other dick whacker Greg Martin are the worst he has ever heard. Even worst than gat Mexted!

Flippie believes that the Tri-Nations has exposed Australia’s woeful lack of depth. He’s sure the existing South African and New Zealand franchises are licking their lippe at the thought of another Aussie team in the Super 14. As for the tendering process, Flippie thinks its a joke. ‘Everyone knows that the Kiwis and the Aussies will buddy-up (just like always) to deny South Africa another franchise for another year’.

Flippie believes that the Bokke shouldn’t be hoodwinked into playing ‘entertaining’ rugby. ‘If the Bokke stick to their strengths, they will win the tournament. If this represents boring rugby, I’ll take it every day of the week’. It irks the skaapfokkers that they don’t have a counter to the South African way. It frustrates them that physically they can’t match the Bokke and tactically they don’t have the players to negate their kicking game. ‘The Aussies and Kiwis talk of entertaining their audience, but the only entertainment the audience wants is victory’.

And as for the IRB fining their boys for the Justice 4 campaign…..Flippie say’s he’s bos befok!

 

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Roscoe Tims (aka @LanceFree): A nasty, opinionated little man whose views are indeed narrow with a capital 'N'. Favourite Sport: mungo bashing. Does he ever have anything positive to say?

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