The Least Embarrassing Sporting Code in Australia power rankings have been updated overnight, after the Australian cricket team cheated in South Africa last night.
The biggest news is the fall of Cricket Australia, who have fallen 3 places from 995th to 998th, meaning that the NRL, Rugby Australia and the FFA have all risen one place in the rankings.
The reinvigorated NBL is on the top of the rankings, with the basketball league being pretty well run and having no outside dramas about it, backed up by Crab Racing, one of the fastest growing pub novelty sports in the country.
The organiser of the rankings, Toby, a local of the Dapto Hotel, says he’s carefully calculated the placings of all sports in the power rankings.
“Strewth tell you what those arseholes in their ivory towers ain’t doing too fucking good hey. I’m talking about the loigue, those silver spooned dickheads (Rugby Australia), and those wogball fairies.
“But now I reckon Smithy has really fucked it. The bloke is great at hitting a ball with a stick, but he’s a bit of a donut aye. So I reckon cricket is the most embarassing sport in the country now hey.
“Except the AFL of course. And believe you me it’s not only the most embarassing sport because of the pom poms, short shorts and Broadway songs.”
The fall of Cricket Australia in the power rankings is likely to keep the Melbourne sport press’s lips drooling for at least 4 years.
“The doping story about Essendon was so fucking exciting we didn’t shut up about it for 2 years,” said Sports Capital of the Universe Sports Network News reporter Jim Whitenoisodopolous. “And I can already tell that this is going to go off for at least twice as long.”
On hearing the news of the ball-tampering incident, Raelene Castle was reported to have said, “thank fuck for that.”
Power Rankings (in brief)
2. Crab racing