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Zac Guildford is absolutely the Alltime Crim 1st XV's most persistent offender. He really knows how to get the selectors attention. Consistently persistently offensive. However, yes, if he wants to compete with the big boys, he does have a few work-ons. Let's Review his work-ons; * axe...

Let the Defiance be Defiantly Definite.

Rant? That's no rant. Barely 2 sentences. Hardly even a whinge. Scarcely even qualifies for minor quibble status. TL/DR/TSR; we're going to have to work on your rants. * Gear up the font sizes. * Ratchet up the profanity. * Fire up the ire.

They're horrible things. Sprained mine really badly a couple of years ago, it was months before I could even pick anything up without wincing. Bugger actually breaking the thing. Lurch will be rooted for 6 months. Although he'll probably get better medical treatment than "uhh, just do nothing...

Jesus, Shiggers. You've just added about 4 pages to this thread with that.

None of this passive aggressive bollox, it would be so biased it would make your bloody head spin. It would also shatter the land speed record of invoking Godwin's law, occurring for the first time of many that afternoon roughly 3 seconds after kickoff. There would also be a dizzying number of...

God knows what team the Blues will put out on Tuesday night. 1 Nepo Laulala. came on late so his fat lazy arse can back up 2 Riccitelli ffs 3 Marcel Renata/Ofa half each (where is Hodgman?) 4 James Tucker although he went the whole 80..... 5 Sam Darry came on late so he can back up too 6...

Shiggers, let's rig up an alternative commentary. You do the opinion/colour and I'll be the sensible play-by-play man.

Bit of the Tom Carter about this guy?

Holy murderpants Batman, that rain is biblical. Looks like the Eden Park test of 1976.

Nankivell giveth and Nankivell taketh away. Runs in his sides 2 tries with fine aplomb then balances the register by floating up out of the d-line like a deranged emu lost in space to gift Will Jordan a hoary great hole to scamper through.

TJ's gob creates a swirling effect.

Where are those alternative commenatary hoons when I need them. I'd rather listen to Z.Ero burp the Pitcairns national anthem in Cantonese for 80 minutes straight than ever hear TJ commentate cheerlead another Cantabs rugby match.

Stiffy killer for poor Justin Marshill. Full on brave and heroic shriekmode when the Landers do something, me oh my boy, yet morose and resigned when the Blues do something good. Final whistle, disconsolate silence. Yet if the Landers had won he'd be breaking out the verbal bunting from here...

IT IS хуй ти Влад & GLORY TO NATION AND PRECISION DRONE STRIKE & BAYRAKTAR хуй ти Влад GLORY TO HEROES TL/DR; BAYRAKTAR

Nock has been better than his usual. FFS ref Fraser just missing so many little knockons etc Blues going up thru the gears now though, flirting with 4th on occasion, poised to go to 5th in the 2nd half for extended periods of boom chucka-lucka hi-octane ethanol blitzkriegery.

Suck on that Gorge Bridge. CC goes full boomtown chacka lacka

I would gladly donate $100 towards Joe Wheeler being trebucheted into the sun. Even if he doesnt make it all the way I would still consider this to be a good investment.

2025: "Mr Guildford, you stand before the court charged with defrauding The Crippled Blind Orphan Children's Fund of NZ of $8, how do you plead?" "ADHD, Aspergers, Tourettes, Alzheimers, gout, gangrene, leprosy, Irritable Bowel Syndrome, Dead Dad Syndrome, ingrown toenails, tetanus, MS, NSA...