On another thread yesterday I stated that Iain Payten was my favourite journalist. I lied. For generating belly-laughs and bewilderment as to whether he's thick-as-a-brick or pulling-our-collective-chains I can't go past Matthew Burke. There is a school of thought that the phrase, "You couldn't make that sort of shit up" was originally uttered in reference to our Matt's work. But he does, week after week.
Who would have thought that the lad even understood the word irony, let alone practised it? But this week we have two gems:
"Bravo to the NSW Rugby Union ... for taking the time to make the important decision and not operate under duress from all sorts of outside influences." (Even Jason Allen would be smart enough to feel the barb of Matt's sarcasm here)
On Gaffney - "I have spoken about the importance of his contribution to this team however little we saw of it this season." (Bit rugged putting the boot into the resident senior citizen, but my view is you should never waste a good line. That would go double for Matt who would very rarely stumble across one)
That's the end of the funnies, so we move on to the obligatory Burkeisms:
"It all sounds very simple but stealing some ideas that work in Britain may just give another dimension to this NSW team ..." Matt, I know that Geography was never your long suit - along with the other school subjects. At Joey's you were permitted to sleep through classes if you were majoring in Rugby. But a quick heads-up, son. Leinster isn't actually in Britain. It's in Northern Ireland. That's why we have the United Kingdom of Britain and Northern Ireland.
"The ultimate decision came form the board, but perhaps all the players knew that the man who is supposed to lead them to glory was limited by a short coaching career." "Short coaching career"? He started his professional coaching career 13 years ago with Knoxy at Padova. Obviously I'm using the word "professional" somewhat loosely in relation to Padova but what I mean is they were paid to do it.
"form the board"! And there's also a missing apostrophe in the piece. The entire Fairfax dynasty will be spinning in their graves - all except the idiot boy-child who sent the place broke. It can only get worse with the towering intellects of the press room like Scoop Growden being sent to the knackery, leaving just the API feed plus Matthew Burke.
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