All-Time Crim 1st XV

[Quick Hands]

Fraud claims, seems like he would be best suited to an administrative role. Bleed the grassroots dry while he takes a fat salary himself.

He's just been appointed CEO of the All Time Crim RU. Beat JON in the final interview.

 

[Dismal Pillock]

Mafi back in business for the Sunwolves. I cannot believe they resigned him. Usually Japan comes down like a bag of hammered shit on anything even remotely crim like.

Plus it sounds like they want to postpone his trial til AFTER the RWC.

Aha, so that's why they resigned him.

 

[Rugbynutter39]

Mafi back in business for the Sunwolves. I cannot believe they resigned him. Usually Japan comes down like a bag of hammered shit on anything even remotely crim like.

Plus it sounds like they want to postpone his trial til AFTER the RWC.

Aha, so that's why they resigned him.

Well my thoughts are this is due to either:

1. Maybe they were worried as they hears about alternative all time crim leagues signing up players on G&GR....
2. We have set the bar too low for all time crim Xv - kidnapping, rape etc maybe not enough - murder or mass murder perhaps has to be minimum entry criteria
3. mafi really is a saint and goes to Sunday school every week and butter would not melt in his mouth

 

[Dismal Pillock]

We have set the bar too low for all time crim Xv - kidnapping, rape etc maybe not enough - murder or mass murder perhaps has to be minimum entry criteria

The forward pack is close to All Murder, All The Time.

​

​

1 Parmeet Dabas: murdered 3​

2 Henry Tromp: killing a farm worker​

3 Bees Roux: cop killer​

4 Rudi Virage: shot and killed his 19 yo daughter.​

5 Michael Quinn ©. Melbourne Chargers. Kiddie fucker. He won’t even survive the first ruck.​

6 Pita Wilson: kidnapping and assault​

7 Joseph Ntshongwana: killed 3 with an axe​

8 Marc Cecillon: performing the eternal willie-away on own wife​

The selectors now need to look at whether Mafi can play on the blindside flank. It's his only shot at cracking the starting lineup. He just needs some I mean a conviction for his kidnapping and assault and ability wise, he would should have it over Wilson. We're all cheering for you Mafi, you dumbo-brained dipshit!​

 

[Dismal Pillock]

Selectors are looking to open a Commission of Enquiry as to whether Izzy's tweet constituted a hate crime.

PLEASE SAY YES.

 

[The torpedo]

Selectors are looking to open a Commission of Enquiry as to whether Izzy's tweet constituted a hate crime.

PLEASE SAY YES.

Fuck it, chuck him in as the guy running the social media page

 

[Dismal Pillock]

oh yeah, a welcome addition.​

​

Selectors: ​

Aunty Doris​

Aunty Raewyn from up the shops​

her niece​

the babysitter​

the baby​

a very confused Wayne Gunston​

​

Coach: ​

Dan Crowley - undercover cop​

​

Laptop analysis: ​

Quade Cooper - computer theft​

​

Team Masseuse: ​

Alan Jones – public bogs gay sex solicitation​

​

Video Analysis: ​

Alan Jones – re; bogs film at 11​

​

Treasurer: ​

Nick Farr Jones – can’t fahkin remember​

​

Security: ​

Doug Roake: murder, robbery. although no deaths under his watch at Richie’s wedding. Well done, shithead.​

​

Team Bus Driver: ​

Dan Carter – drunk driver​

Groundskeeper: ​

Tony Daly - 500 hours community service for serial theft and driving offences ​

​

Ballboys: ​

Dave Alred and Paul Stridgeon (?)​

​

Equipment/ball maintenance consultants: ​

David Warner​

Steve Smith​

Darren Lehmann ​

a few shady backroom bastards from the New England Patriots.​

Physio, in charge of, you know, taping stuff:

Cameron Bancroft​

​

Social Media manager: ​

Israel Folau​

 

[brokendown]

suggest team chaplain gets added to folau's duties

 

[zer0]

Ali Williams as the team nutritionist/dietitian who provides the cocaine.

 

[Baldric]

Carl Hayman?

 

[Dismal Pillock]

Holy shit! He's a wifebeater!​

​

https://www.stuff.co.nz/sport/rugby...ison-sentence-for-domestic-violence-in-france​

​

Straight onto the bench. Selectors have decreed that wifebeating usurps making drugs and I agree with them. Bocchini down to WTG

Bench

Tim Bristow: Banned from rugby for life in 1962 for knocking out 8 opposing players.
Carl Hayman: WIFEBEATER
Lorenzo Bocchini: breaking bad meth cook
Sione Luaaki: trashing motel room/charged in with assault at a Tron bar/charged for careless driving and crashing/guilty of dropping 5 passes in one half of test match rugby football while playing for the New Zealand All Blacks.
Mark Catchpole: busted for dealing drugs. 9 months P.D
Stuart Olding: rape
John Payne: crippling someone in a bar fight.
Losi Filipo: bashing up four, 2 of them women.
Matthew Ridge: property development company went bust owing tradies & suppliers millions

 

[Tex]

Dismal I've got a potential bench option for the Committee to consider.

Former Springbok hooker James Dalton, thug on the field and accused of attempted murder of his wife off the field.

"Dalton allegedly tried to drown her in a bath, smother her with a dress and threatened her."

https://mg.co.za/article/2007-11-20-dalton-back-under-spotlight-for-wrong-reasons

 

[Dismal Pillock]

haha, nice find. Particularly like the order in which the heinous crimes are being reported:

"Dalton allegedly tried to drown her in a bath, smother her with a dress and threatened her."

Like she's half dead and then he finally decided to threaten her. Sort it out, James. That's basically the scrum equivalent of "engage, kill, crouch, knock-on, set."

Bit of a work-on for the psychotic dickhead.

 

[Derpus]

haha, nice find. Particularly like the order in which the heinous crimes are being reported:Like she's half dead and then he finally decided to threaten her. Sort it out, James. That's basically the scrum equivalent of "engage, kill, crouch, knock-on, set."

Bit of a work-on for the psychotic dickhead.

You made me laugh and everyone in the officer gave me a dirty.

 

[Tex]

haha, nice find. Particularly like the order in which the heinous crimes are being reported:Like she's half dead and then he finally decided to threaten her. Sort it out, James. That's basically the scrum equivalent of "engage, kill, crouch, knock-on, set."

Bit of a work-on for the psychotic dickhead.

It's the mad cape dutch grammar shining through. they're all back to front

 

[Dismal Pillock]

Selectors eyeing a certain court date on Jan 27th with a great deal of interest.....

https://www.stuff.co.nz/sport/rugby...amanaki-mafi--as-world-cup-squad-naming-looms

He'll never unseat starter Cecillon at #8 but if he can play 6 he could potentially crack the starting XV! ​

6 Pita Wilson: kidnapping and assault
7 Joseph Ntshongwana: killed 3 with an axe
8 Marc Cecillon: performing the eternal willie-away on own wife

What an achievement it would be.

Surely a huge moment in the life of this thimble-brained dumbarse.

 

[Quick Hands]

Selectors eyeing a certain court date on Jan 27th with a great deal of interest...

https://www.stuff.co.nz/sport/rugby...amanaki-mafi--as-world-cup-squad-naming-looms

He'll never unseat starter Cecillon at #8 but if he can play 6 he could potentially crack the starting XV!

What an achievement it would be.

Surely a huge moment in the life of this thimble-brained dumbarse.

I think he can beat Pita Wilson on a count-back. Mafi gets bonus points for kidnapping a team mate.

 

[RugbyReg]

sometimes it's tough to differentiate the spam from Dismal's posts.

 

[Hound]

Maybe this is the new team kit

 

[Dismal Pillock]

The selectors are pleased to announce that undercover cop Dan Crowley has been relieved of his head coaching duties and has been replaced by Rob Howley.

https://www.thesun.co.uk/sport/rugbyunion/9946400/wales-rugby-world-cup-rob-howley-japan/

"Not enough criminal intent from Mr Crowley, I'm afraid" muttered one selector. "Mr Howley's financial acumen will provide a far more suitable fit."