All-Time Crim 1st XV

[LeCheese]

Nah:

In a statement released on Monday, Vunipola said: “I can confirm I was involved in an unfortunate misunderstanding when I was leaving a club in Mallorca on Sunday, which got out of hand. Contrary to media reports, there was no violence, no fight and I did not threaten anybody at any stage, with bottles or chairs or anything else. I was charged with resisting the law and, following an ‘express trial, I have paid a fine of €240 ($430). The Spanish police investigation is now closed, and I am flying back to the UK today. I will obviously cooperate with the Saracens internal process and unreservedly apologise for any inconvenience to all involved.”

 

[Adam84]

Former All Black - Bryon Kelleher found guilty of domestic violence

Ex-All Black reportedly found guilty of domestic violence

French media have reported Byron Kelleher received a suspended six-month prison sentence in a Paris court.

www.1news.co.nz

 

[Italophile]

Second conviction and a suspended sentence? FFS.

 

[LevitatingSocks]

that $1800 fine will surely teach the former professional athlete to behave!

 

[Lyall]

No charge, he was a police officer while playing and regularly went undercover to bust drug rings, even while on tour: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dan_Crowley

strictly speaking not a crim, but he can certainly play the role. Probably worth having him there to keep the rest in line.

There's some first hand experiences I could recount about this guy when he was in uniform...suffice to say he was your 'typical' 1980's Queensland cop.

 

[todd4]

So, the complete opposite of this thread would be;

Ex Western Force backrower Brynard Stander chases down two young crims involved in a knife attack...

Former Western Force player Brynard Stander chases down Karrinyup stabbing accused​

‘I can run quite far so I suggest you just stop and wait for the police.’

Former rugby star chases down teens accused of stabbing attack

‘I can run quite far so I suggest you just stop and wait for the police.’

7news.com.au

 

[Dismal Pillock]

High profile addition:

Stuart Hogg spends night in cells and given prison warning

Stuart Hogg has been warned that he will be sent to prison if there is another breach of his bail conditions after he admitted...

www.rugbypass.com

 

[Dismal Pillock]

I wonder if the selectors need to look at making only test players eligible?

I look at the current 1st XV and have only heard of about 5 of the names ffs.

 

[KOB1987]

Might need to move Glen Ella into the centres. I think Hogg is purely and squarely a fullback, but I could be wrong. I agree though, internationals displace the nobodies.

edit: I just saw Craig Wells there. I dated a chick and he dated her afterwards. Had no idea about those claims. 2nd Edit: I just read about it, what a grub

 

[Strewthcobber]

Easts having a crack at the top grade premiership for the first time since 1969 is highlighting a key member of that 1969 Eastern Suburbs team.

Backrower Chris Dawson of Teacher's Pet fame

 

[Dismal Pillock]

The Selectors have made the hard choices of culling those with no test caps.

Some WTG deadbeats have absolutely rocketed into contention.

1st XV

1 Parmeet Dabas (IND): murdered 3
2 Henry Tromp (SA) killing a farm worker
3 John Ryan (IRE): busted for an attempted armed hold-up.
4 Api Ratuniyarawa (FIJ) rapist
5 Ali Williams (NZ): coke bust and general gormlessness.
6 Shannon Frizell (NZ) charged over assaulting woman
7 Simon Poidevin (AUS): stockmarket shenanigans (not sure here. how bad was this?)
8 Marc Cecillon (FRA): performing the eternal willie-away on own wife
9 B.Kelleher (NZ): drunk and disorderly + innumerable crimes, many of them against All Black heritage.
10 Paddy Jackson (IRE): rape
11 Eric Rush (NZ): careless driving causing death and injury
12 Japie Mulder SA): teen rape
13 Glen Ella (AUS): nicking 20 million from kids charity
14 Alejandro Puccio (ARG). triple kidnap/murderer
15 Matthew Ridge (NZ): property development company went bust owing tradies & suppliers millions


Bench

Tony Woodcock (NZ): drink driving
James Dalton (SA) attempted murder
R.Brooke (NZ) (trying to root some kid up in the islands or something?)
Amanaki Mafi (JPN): kidnapping LOL
Mark Catchpole (AUS): busted for dealing drugs. 9 months P.D
Amenoni Nasilasila (FIJ) rapist
Brendan Mullin (IRE): stealing millions
Zac Guildford (NZ): stealing money from his own grandad, bashing up the ladies, drunk driving, getting naked in Rarotonga etc etc etc



Wider training group

props:
0

hookers
Andrew Hore (NZ): killing seals

locks:
0

loosies

Sione Luaaki (NZ): trashing motel room/charged with assault at a Tron bar/charged for careless driving and crashing
Scott Higginbotham (AUS): assaulting cops
George Smith (AUS): charged with assault
Cliff Palu (AUS): weekend detention for assault.
Billy Vunipola (ENG). bashing up cops
Lopeti Timani (AUS): doing a Begby

halfbacks

Brett Sheehan (AUS): DV
Matt Henjak (AUS): broke Haig Sare's jaw
Jimmy Cowan (NZ): assaulting 2 bouncers. Plus stuffing up Auckland Blues backline for a season

1st 5's

Steve Pokere (NZ), helping fleece his fellow Mormons of $3.9M, 2 1/2 years jail.
Doug Rolleson (NZ) pokie machine money fraud: not for personal gain hence no jail
Stephen Bachop (NZ): wifebeater
Stuart Hogg (Scot) stalking ex-wife
Elton Jantjies (SA). plane freakout

Centres

John Payne (TON): crippling someone in a bar fight.
Sam Burgess (ENG): drugs and DV. The only dual international (Alltime Airport XV)
Regan King (NZ): borrowing chicks $$ to fuel gambling addiction

Outside backs

Sevu Reece (NZ): bashing up his missus
Sivivatu (NZ): domestic violence against his girlfriend/wife
Wendell Sailor (AUS) : failed drug test for cocaine banned for 2 years
Khunt (AUS): distributing cocaine and not offering me any at all.
Brian Lima (SAM) GBH
G.Moala (NZ): bashing people up on K Rd.
James O'Connor (AUS) : cock I mean coke bust.
Yamanaka (JPN): failed roid test, banned for 2 years 2011-2013. Bonus points for saying he was "just trying to grow a moustache"

Mercy Droppings?

- Keith Murdoch (NZ): punching a pom in 1862 and maybe killing some bloke in the outback? Never convicted of anything, let him be

- Carl Hayman (NZ): wifebeater (although does he get off due to the alibi of CTE? Perhaps one for The Supreme Court of Selectors to deliberate over....)

- Rudi Virage (SA): Not really sure he should be here as he thought he was shooting an intruder and accidentally shot and killed his 19 yo daughter. The Selectors tend to show leniency in cases such as these. Poor bugger really.

 

[The Red Baron]

Bloody hell, with that revised criteria most of the squad are now Aussie or Kiwi.

 

[The Ghost of Raelene]

Once again. Southern Hemisphere dominating.

 

[Dismal Pillock]

Rugby star Stuart Hogg granted bail after arrest

A sheriff in the Borders allows the former Scotland rugby captain bail under strict conditions.

www.bbc.com

The father-of-four has since come out of retirement to sign a two-year contract with Montpellier.

 

[Dctarget]

Vinaya Habosi threatening to be picked on the wing for the All Blacks instead of Fiji by being arrested by the French Police for beating up his partner.

Particularly nasty man it sounds, punched her in the back of the head whilst she was holding his baby.

Habosi in trouble

www.fbcnews.com.fj

 

[waiopehu oldboy]

Innocent until proven guilty & all that but this guy really putting his hand up...

Samoa in 'shock' after Manu Samoa head coach charged with multiple sexual offences

Mase Mahonri Schwalger has been charged with multiple serious offences, including unlawful sexual connection, attempted sexual violation, sexual conduct with a person under 16.

www.rnz.co.nz

 

[The Ghost of Raelene]

Innocent until proven guilty & all that but this guy really putting his hand up...

Samoa in 'shock' after Manu Samoa head coach charged with multiple sexual offences

Mase Mahonri Schwalger has been charged with multiple serious offences, including unlawful sexual connection, attempted sexual violation, sexual conduct with a person under 16.

www.rnz.co.nz

"It's like wow, what a shocker," the spokesperson told RNZ Pacific on Monday.

That's an all time quote. Sounds like this surprised nobody sadly. Pretty dark allegations there.



Squad coming together well though.

 

[Braveheart81]

Doesn't really belong here but this is an incredibly rugby story.

Getting arrested at 3:30am after the Bledisloe Cup match for being involved in a brawl and then swearing at Police that you've got diplomatic immunity.

Stuff

www.stuff.co.nz

 

[Wilson]

Doesn't really belong here but this is an incredibly rugby story.

Getting arrested at 3:30am after the Bledisloe Cup match for being involved in a brawl and then swearing at Police that you've got diplomatic immunity.

Stuff

www.stuff.co.nz

I expect it will be revoked shortly, seems well and truly like an abuse of the system. It could only be more perfect if it was a South African instead of one of ours...

 

[Braveheart81]

I expect it will be revoked shortly, seems well and truly like an abuse of the system. It could only be more perfect if it was a South African instead of one of ours...

You'd bloody well hope it is. Australia certainly shouldn't stand in the way of this guy getting charged on the basis that his spouse is a diplomat.