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Boomfa! Mt Smart was so hot it just caught fire:

Oh shit. We may have an issue here now. It's arguably now in the Canes best interests to lose this match. I reckon they'd rather play the Chiffs in Waikato next week instead of traipsing over to Canberra to that frozen hellhole of mauled dreams.....

Nic White is going to KILL that Lonnie Donergan clown who subbed on for him at halfback. Literally murder him to deth in the changing rooms. Disgraceful performance from Ref Fraser. Not allowing the Brumbies to cheat like that. Time and time again he kept calling them up on their foul play...

Will Onehunga have her revenge on the Bottybreezers? ps TJ haaaaates the Brumbies. Not Blues level disdainful vitriol but a terrified sort of oh jesus these guys hate

Gondoliers Z.Ero and D.Ismalpillock escorting Crusaders fans to uhhhh..... the Cantabs stadium...... yeah..... that's where we're going......

Any minute Ala'alatoa to demand an apology from the ref for pinging his team for infringing. LOL@Kepu, leopard doesnt change his spots. After all that pregame wank about playing for mummy and playing for daddy and playing for my people the captain lasts all of 10 minutes before he tries to...

Another sly late kickoff scheduled by the Force. By the time the 2nd half rolls around it's 1am for their NZ opponents ffs.

Drongu Drua have absolutely kneecapped themselves there. Talk about the sublime to the ridiculous. - plonker tries to inbound it when its going out, intercept, 7 pts - plonker tries for the worst "quick droppy tap to self" in rugby football history, from his own goalline, knockon, Chiefs...

Yeah I dunno, not massively, the whole Chiefs vibe seems to be "fuck this shit, its 30 degrees and 100% humidity, rugby is a winter sport you c***tz" and lets gtfo out of here. Gatland has really improved over the last couple of years though. Can see why he's keeping Josh Ioane on the bench

Fijians habit of getting in cheap shots to players on the ground after they've just scored against them is some pea-hearted garbage. Wow, Poihipo doesnt look "the type" but he's raked off a couple of ENORMOUS pinpoint 50/22s

T-minus 10 hours for ignition sequence start on Operation B-Team Diaper Dash. Callsign: Deesrespect. Valves, stable. Boosters, stable. Weather's looking real nice up here Houston, all systems are a go. Houston: "Checking command modules". Coach Leon: "Houston, could you please turn the...

Just pick up your telephone receiver and leave it on the table. I'll use the Pitcairns dialup to talk you through the match. Due to the bad connection I'll probably have to shout for all 80 minutes but I'm sure no one there will mind.

Great match buildup guys. FFS even Brumbies fans dont give a shit about Australia's Greatest Rugby Football team. In fairness I suppose, this one could be a massive WFT. The Unstoppable Maul meets The We No Maul Stoppy Stoppy MP (Moana Pasifika) team. The Bottyberries will need to play well for about 10 minutes...

Excruciating. They'll be tearful despondent wrecks by next weekend. "What will we do today? "Well, we could go and look at that avon creek again....." "I dunno. Maybe we could spice things up and maybe try looking at a hill?" "How about one of their shipping container bars from the earthqu...

Cantabs to send out the SOS to Japan for Brett Cameron. Fozzie instantly fast tracks him back into the AB setup. "Havent seen him play but he must have come back into form for the Cantabs to recall him. They have a good track record with 1st 5's. Dan Carter once played for them don't you...

Reds reconnaisance mission complete. No need to show your hand too early. Keep the powder dry. Play possum. Should have the Cantabs number in the 1/8 rematch next weekend. And what a performance from The Tenured 3-Headed All Black Hydra of The RWC2023 1/8 Exit Shartpocalypse, that being, messrs...