All-Time Crim 1st XV

[The torpedo]

20 million reasons to select Glen Ella here, here and here:

http://www.smh.com.au/nsw/glen-ella...lion-says-nsw-government-20170721-gxfzp3.html

Was he 1st 5 or was that Mark Ella? Hopefully 1st 5. Easily usurps Willie Ripia at starter there iHomo. Pilfering 20 mill vs nicking some change for the pokies in the dressing room, no contest.

Gary Ella was a centre IIRC

 

[Brumby Runner]

Yes, Gary was a centre, but that's not DP's question. Glen played 15, Mark was the first 5, or No 10.

 

[Dismal Pillock]

a few rapists putting their hands up for selection

https://www.stuff.co.nz/sport/rugby...paddy-jackson-stuart-olding-face-rape-charges

https://www.stuff.co.nz/sport/rugby...or-three-years-four-months-for-attempted-rape

 

[The torpedo]

a few rapists putting their hands up for selection

https://www.stuff.co.nz/sport/rugby...paddy-jackson-stuart-olding-face-rape-charges

https://www.stuff.co.nz/sport/rugby...or-three-years-four-months-for-attempted-rape

Straight to 1st and 2nd 5 for the Irish fuckheads. Disgraceful behaviour

 

[jimmydubs]

Not sure on position but seems to be a good fit for the team. http://m.sport24.co.za/sport24/Rugby/ex-india-rugby-player-held-in-triple-murder-case-20170810

 

[brokendown]

good utility player

 

[brokendown]

by the way can this team find a position for Pulver?

 

[TSR]

by the way can this team find a position for Pulver?

Clearly a winger.

No one likes him. Only real purpose is to decide where the next stoppage is.

 

[The torpedo]

Not sure on position but seems to be a good fit for the team. http://m.sport24.co.za/sport24/Rugby/ex-india-rugby-player-held-in-triple-murder-case-20170810

Played prop. Dismal, straight into Bristow's spot

 

[brokendown]

cricky,If Murdoch can't prove he murdered that geezer in the outback,he is out of the squad entirely

 

[Jon]

Eales complicity in removing the force gets him a lock spot IMO

 

[Lindommer]

Triple murderer, well done young man! Sorta puts those who can't count past one to shame. Sanji should be in charge of the catering at least.

 

[Dismal Pillock]

Pursuant to clause 64b of the tract duodenal, dickheadedish behavior is **NOT** technically criminal behavior therefore ergo visa visor messrs Pulver and Eales are **INELIGIBLE** for the Alltime Crim 1st XV until such time as they rape pillage murder forward slash jaywalk at a time of their choosing pursuant to the future ergo

Raewyn (babysitter forward slash joint co-selector)

 

[Dismal Pillock]

1 Parmeet Dabas: murdered 3

2 Henry Tromp: killing a farm worker

3 Bees Roux: cop killer

4 Rudi Virage: shot and killed his 19 yo daughter.

5 Michael Quinn ©. Melbourne Chargers. Kiddie fucker. He won’t even survive the first ruck.

6 Pita Wilson: kidnapping and assault

7 Joseph Ntshongwana: killed 3 with an axe

8 Marc Cecillon: performing the eternal willie-away on own wife

9 B.Kelleher: drunk and disorderly + innumerable crimes, many of them against All Black heritage. VICE Captain (haha, "Vice", get it, that's even worse than being regular captain of these arseclowns)

10 Paddy Jackson: rape

11 Eric Rush: careless driving causing death and injury

12 Japie Mulder: teen rape

13 Craig Wells. raping children.

14 Alejandro Puccio. triple kidnap/murderer

15 Glen Ella: nicking 20 million from kids charity



Bench



Tim Bristow: Banned from rugby for life in 1962 for knocking out 8 opposing players.

Lorenzo Bocchini: breaking bad meth cook

Sione Luaaki: trashing motel room/charged in with assault at a Tron bar/charged for careless driving and crashing/guilty of dropping 5 passes in one half of test match rugby football while playing for the New Zealand All Blacks.

Mark Catchpole: busted for dealing drugs. 9 months P.D

Stuart Olding: rape

John Payne: crippling someone in a bar fight.

Losi Filipo: bashing up four, 2 of them women.

Matthew Ridge: property development company went bust owing tradies & suppliers millions



Wider training group

Andrew Hore: killing seals

Tony Woodcock: drink driving

Keith Murdock: punching a pom in 1862 and maybe killing some bloke in the outback

Ali Williams: coke bust and general gormlessness.

Dillan Halaholo: sustained carpark wanking. Doing it for the kids.

R.Brooke (trying to root some kid up in the islands or something?)

Scott Higginbotham: assaulting cops

Willie Anderson: nicked a flag on tour in Argentina. Think bigger, Willie.

George Smith: charged with assault

Cliff Palu: weekend detention for assault.

Matt Henjak: broke Haig Sare's jaw

Jimmy Cowan: assaulting 2 bouncers. Plus stuffing up Auckland Blues backline for a season

Doug Rolleson, pokie machine money fraud: not for personal gain hence no jail

W.Ripia: looting own team dressing room haha.

Steve Pokere, helping fleece his fellow Mormons of $3.9M, 2 1/2 years jail.

John Ryan: busted for an attempted armed hold-up.

Brian Lima GBH

G.Moala: bashing people up on K Rd.

James O'Connor: cock I mean coke bust. (VERY handy bench option here, covers fullback, wing, the whole fucken backline. get set for a long tenure here, shit-for-brains)

Mitchell Scott: convicted of assault.

Julian Savea: wifebeating (although upon further reading it sounds like this was an absolute nothing, might drop out if WTfWTG)

Sivivatu: domestic violence against his girlfriend/wife

Cameron Shepherd: jumping on parked cars outside the Star Casino. Needs to find more cars. A lot more cars. And maybe another casino.

Roger Randle: suspected rape

Doug Howlett: jumping on cars post world cup exit

Khunt: distributing cocaine and not offering me any at all.

Zac Guildford (naked pissing and beating up an old bloke in Rarotonga)

Wendell Sailor: failed drug test for cocaine banned for 2 years



Selectors: Aunty Doris, Aunty Raewyn from up the shops, her niece, the babysitter, the baby, and a very confused Wayne Gunston

Coach: Dan Crowley - ?

Laptop analysis: Quade Cooper - computer theft

Team Masseuse: Alan Jones – public bogs gay sex solicitation

Treasurer: Nick Farr Jones – can’t fahkin remember

Security: Doug Roake: murder, robbery, although no deaths under his watch at Richie’s wedding. Well done, shithead.

Video Analysis: Alan Jones – re; bogs film at 11

Team Bus Driver: Dan Carter – drubk driver

Groundskeeper: Tony Daly - 500 hours community service for serial theft and driving offences

Can’T recall how some of the staff ended up there. Rugby wise, looking at the starting forward pack, apart from Cecillon, they are absolutely shit. They will get abused all over the park. Fitting I suppose.

 

[Wilson]

Coach: Dan Crowley - ?

Can’T recall how some of the staff ended up there.

Crowley's there to keep them all in check, he was an undercover cop.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dan_Crowley_(rugby_player)

 

[jimmydubs]

Starting 9 looks soft. Maybe shouldn't be surprised, 9's are all bluff and bluster but don't live up to it.

Still there gotta be a 9 that's done more than get on the piss and annoy everyone?

 

[brokendown]

I have,but plead the 5th!

 

[Jon]

Starting 9 looks soft. Maybe shouldn't be surprised, 9's are all bluff and bluster but don't live up to it.

Still there gotta be a 9 that's done more than get on the piss and annoy everyone?

Matt henjack broke Haig Sare's jaw

 

[Forcefield]

Clearly a winger.

No one likes him. Only real purpose is to decide where the next stoppage is.

No one likes him, everyone complains when he makes a decision... can we have him as a referee?

 

[Dismal Pillock]

<p>

George Smith: charged with assault

</p>
<p><br /></p>
https://japantoday.com/category/cri...for-refusing-to-pay-taxi-fare-punching-driver

Another assault charge in the offing.

Still won't crack the starting XV unless he actually KIDNAPS or KILLS the taxi driver.

Something to think about for next time, George.