Worst Commentator Pole Action

[Silverado]

Apparently he did it as he's coming out with his own brand of beer? I wonder if he hasn't dumbly WILDLY overestimated his own popularity? "Oh me oh my they all love my hi-energy colour commentary and trademark phrases such as 'Yes Boy', which no one has ever said before and to which I now have intellectktual rights to. I must be one of the most beloved people in all of New Zealand, this beer will fly off the shelves!"

Meanwhile everyone who's ever listened to him wreck a game of rugby by shrieking his nuts off and getting it 180 degrees of wrong 180% of the time will see the beer on the shelf and think "well fuck me, I don't care if it tastes like angelic nectar from the bosomed butt of fucken Abraham, I am buying ANY beer EXCEPT for that fucken one."

3 months later, "Boomfah Beer" quietly disappears from shelves nationwide.

I'd have a few Synergies on name alone

 

[Dismal Pillock]

Tonight was first time I've ever thought "Nisbo might've done his dash here."

He was clearly bored out of his mind in the Canes vs Jags match. And it was infectious. He made the whole thing seem like some sort of contractual viewing obligation. Contrast that with Sean Maloney in the Rebs match that followed, he was enthused and right into it.

 

[Quick Hands]

Tonight was first time I've ever thought "Nisbo might've done his dash here."

He was clearly bored out of his mind in the Canes vs Jags match. And it was infectious. He made the whole thing seem like some sort of contractual viewing obligation. Contrast that with Sean Maloney in the Rebs match that followed, he was enthused and right into it.

Sounds like even the commentators have become bored with Super rugby.

What next, Tony Johnstone falling asleep during a Crusaders victory?

 

[cyclopath]

As mentioned by Juan Cote on Twitter, the delicious irony of TJ and Justin Marshall bemoaning the booing of Quade Cooper last night (which I though was pretty tired and found me some munted Kiwi trolls on Twitter for my trouble - that was fun) was superb, given they formed part of the TV lynch mob 8 years ago.

 

[Dismal Pillock]

who the HELL is the kiwi tosser doing colour comms in the France vs Scotland game? He has literally talked nonstop about everything EXCEPT the action unfolding on the field. He just doesnt seem to give a flying fuck about the match being played right in front of him. His first name is either Simon or Robbie. Just fuck him off. Incredibly annoying

 

[KiwiM]

who the HELL is the kiwi tosser doing colour comms in the France vs Scotland game? He has literally talked nonstop about everything EXCEPT the action unfolding on the field. He just doesnt seem to give a flying fuck about the match being played right in front of him. His first name is either Simon or Robbie. Just fuck him off. Incredibly annoying

Without having heard the commentary for that game I reckon it's almost certainly Simon Mannix.

The term punchable face gets thrown around but I reckon he has a punchable voice - he comes across as a total knob - he's like some sort of Kiwi rugby version of Mark Nicholas the twat English cricket commentator. Just says a whole bunch of shit without adding anything of value.

 

[Dismal Pillock]

Without having heard the commentary for that game I reckon it's almost certainly Simon Mannix.

The term punchable face gets thrown around but I reckon he has a punchable voice - he comes across as a total knob -

Is that a normal style for NH comms? It was like he was yakking away to himself in his own living room while we were trying to watch the game.

".....France need some fast players. Like Ben Smith, Beauden Barrett, Christian Cullen....."<goes on to list every single All Black throughout the history of rugby who has ever been fast>)

I had to change channels just to get away from the cock.

 

[Dan54]

Without having heard the commentary for that game I reckon it's almost certainly Simon Mannix.

The term punchable face gets thrown around but I reckon he has a punchable voice - he comes across as a total knob - he's like some sort of Kiwi rugby version of Mark Nicholas the twat English cricket commentator. Just says a whole bunch of shit without adding anything of value.

No I not sure who it was, and I only caught the 20 minutes, but wasn't Mannix, well not when I was listening, know his voice. You could hear it on sidelines when he was coaching at Racing Metro, as he was one of these coaches who constantly from the sidelines. They do tend to use any Kiwi or Aus players that are available on any given weekend over there, and don't forget they not going to pay much, the main commentators will be doing it in French!! I would hate to hear what the NZ/Aus commentators doing the French version sound like!!

 

[Dan54]

F*** me, I just been reading a few of the comments, seems there are no good commentators for some of you fellas, do you just turn sound down and watch game?

 

[KiwiM]

No I not sure who it was, and I only caught the 20 minutes, but wasn't Mannix, well not when I was listening, know his voice. You could hear it on sidelines when he was coaching at Racing Metro, as he was one of these coaches who constantly from the sidelines. They do tend to use any Kiwi or Aus players that are available on any given weekend over there, and don't forget they not going to pay much, the main commentators will be doing it in French!! I would hate to hear what the NZ/Aus commentators doing the French version sound like!!

This tweet seems to suggest it was Mannix - the tweet seems to be by a Robbie Nock - which links in with the Robbie that DP spoke of - Welsh commentator by the looks

France showed us more rugby in 80 minutes than they have done in the past couple of years as they ease past Scotland. #FRAvSCO Great commentating with Simon Mannix again doing the World feed. Back in a fortnight for #FRAvITA

 

[zer0]

There was an all to brief, blissful, time when Sky (NZ's) alternative of the ref mic didn't change his mic level at all, and instead just cut the commentary. Was fantastic.

 

[zer0]

On the topic of commentary, while it's not (proper) rugby, I've just been reminded that this gem exists.

 

[Dan54]

This tweet seems to suggest it was Mannix - the tweet seems to be by a Robbie Nock - which links in with the Robbie that DP spoke of - Welsh commentator by the looks

Ok, probably was him, just didn't sound like him the bit I heard, mind you as I said didn't catch the whole game, and was only half watching, as I think I was looking at GGR at same time!

 

[Dismal Pillock]

oh man how good would it be to have an "alternative" commentary team do the rugby. "AH CAHHN'T SPAKE. WE ALL CAN'T SPAKE. IT WERE DIABOLICAL. GET IM OFF."​

sounds like NZ have been spared the anguish of shrieking Justin for RWC. I would still rather have him any day ahead of that arrogant Simon Mannix knowitall tosser though. Very interested to see who we'll get here on the 666th Pitcairns parallel.

Fuck knows how a rugby mad country like NZ can lose the tv rights to the most important event in the country to some shady fly-by-night start-up streaming service. "Spark." wft is that? It's like the Queen having her roller impounded and having to hope a dogsled pulled by fucken corgi's turns up on the day.

 

[waiopehu oldboy]

^ spark was formerly Telecom so while they're new to this streaming thing they've been annoying the shit out of their customers/ pre-privatisation owners since roughly 1985. Were the least-liked corporate in NZ but recently lost that title to ANZ & may soon also be overtaken by the other banks and/ or the fuel companies (the PM having recently confirmed that kiwis are indeed being fleeced at the bowser).

 

[Blue]

"the PM having recently confirmed that kiwis are indeed being fleeced at the bowser"
I'd be more worried that it has just been uncovered that your entire climate change policy is based on buying carbon credits that apparently did not exist from Russia and Ukraine

Are you actually saying rugby will not be on free to air or Sky????

 

[waiopehu oldboy]

^ Sky got out-bid for the rights & they're not happy about it. Spark have partnered with TVNZ who'll show some Pool games FTA with a one-hour delay & the KO matches live (yet to be confirmed but I reckon it'll be on "live delay" & full of ads). Plus if the stream falls over it'll allegedly be on FTA within five minutes. Gotta say I'm sceptical about the whole thing but will obviously be forking out for the stream plus probably a chromecast gizmo to get it from my laptop to my tv.

 

[Tex]

Not a commentator, strictly speaking, but as a pundit I'm going to nominate Christy Doran as a real drag on Fox's rugby product.

He can't write in compound sentences, instead his written pieces are a mangled mix of single sentence paragraphs with half-baked parochial chirps on lazy observations and hearsay. His work on the podcast is occasionally better, but he suffers from a crippling case of self importance which causes him to interrupt every single guest expert.

 

[John S]

At least I didn't have to listen to Justin Marshall bang on watching on Kayo's feed of the ABvSA game.

 

[formerflanker]

Brilliant commentary when Nic Berry was charged to the ground (by big Sergio Parisse I think):
"the refs gone down like a Nicholas Cage movie!"