Here's a real side-splitter: How do you spell 'culture' in Melbourne? C-a-s-h
Greg Growden
April 18, 2011
The Super Rugby scene has suddenly become a barrel of laughs. The first half of the Eden Park match on Saturday night was like watching an old TV episode of Batman, with ''Crash'', ''Bang'' and ''Kapow'' screaming across the screen every time a Waratah fell over, missed a tackle or knocked himself out.
A few hours later came a marvellous moment of mirth when Digby Ioane performed ''the Dancing Crab'' after scoring an exceptional try for the Reds in an extraordinary match at Suncorp Stadium. Ioane should be fast-tracked into the Australian Olympic Games gymnastics team after that acrobatic effort.
Nonetheless, the most side-splitting moment came when Rebels officials tried to hoodwink all by arguing the reason Kurtley Beale was leaving the Waratahs for Melbourne next season was related to culture, not cash. The Rebels clearly aim to make their organisation sound like the world's most enviable rugby outfit, and their agenda revolves around pushing the line: ''It's not about money … It's the pursuit of excellence.''
Who are they kidding? Next the Rebels will try to tell us the Yarra is more picturesque than the Hawkesbury, the Narrabeen surf break has nothing on St Kilda beach, and the Easter Bunny - alive, well and running the club gym - has begun a course during which all their players on a pittance discover how to be community leaders.
On top of that, the Rebels argue they are not being bolstered by lucrative third-party agreements from the Melbourne business community. Funny that, because certain Rebels players remember a different line being thrown at them when they were being lured to the club, with assurances of being ''set up for life after football''. And all this after those with an understanding of the Beale move explained that the Rebels deal was ''substantially higher'' than what NSW could have offered. Even the Waratahs know they have been caught short in the secretive world of third-party deals.
At least some sanity emerged when Reds coach Ewen McKenzie, who was heavily involved in securing Beale for the Waratahs from St Joseph's College five years, gave his thoughts on the RuggaMatrix podcast. McKenzie said Beale had taken a ''rugby risk'' going to the Rebels. He also had never believed that Beale would leave the Waratahs. ''Why would he? He was a player in the most consistent team in Australian rugby over the past five or six years. It can only be for a financial reason,'' McKenzie said.
''There is also a lot of certainty at the Waratahs. I know NSW have done a lot of work for Kurtley, being his mentor through some difficult times. They'll be bitterly disappointed that he has gone, and it will stick in their craw because they would have believed he would stick with them. Then they get a phone call out of the blue saying he's going … that would have been very tough.''
The Rebels' pursuit of James O'Connor also comes with a warning. ''I've already seen this happen before with the Western Force. [Drew] Mitchell goes there. [Matt] Giteau goes there. [Sponsor] Firepower falls over. Mitchell leaves. Giteau leaves. So you have to look at the total environment, and its impact over time,'' McKenzie said.
Secondly, when high-profile players are signed to a province, other players must make way, and according to McKenzie, their departure can badly affect team culture, through a loss of personality and character within the group.
McKenzie does know something about culture. A positive winning culture. Twenty-four hours after the Rebels' Rod Macqueen described his team as a ''coach's nightmare'' when they lost their way against the Highlanders, the Reds were having the time of their lives making fun of the Bulls. The happiness of the Australian conference leaders was infectious. It is so clear they are unified and playing for each other.
And which Australian province has the lowest salary bill? The Reds.
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