Auckland Blues To Infinity and Beyond

[Dismal Pillock]

"....and I am saying Mr President, that if you platoon Segner, Choat and Suafoa in this role then the Blues can continue their success......"
"No way Zelensky, you cannot replace Akira Ioane. You are disprespecting the Oval Office. Please leave now."

 

[LeCheese]

Spotted walking out of the Auckland crematorium this morning:

https://imgur.com/IeKM80m

 

[Sully]

https://www.theroar.com.au/2025/03/03/the-wrap-failed-attempt-to-game-hia-process-calls-super-rugby-integrity-into-question/

Blues accussed of trying to cheat.

 

[Dismal Pillock]

Spotted walking out of the Auckland crematorium this morning:

https://imgur.com/IeKM80m

Goddamn, that is some next level hi-tech shit, Le Cheese.

Putting my stupid tonka toy MS Paint set to shame.

 

[LeCheese]

Goddamn, that is some next level hi-tech shit, Le Cheese.

Putting my stupid tonka toy MS Paint set to shame.

If you can't accomplish it with PowerPoint and a couple of hours of procrastination, is it really worth accomplishing?

 

[Dismal Pillock]

 

[Dismal Pillock]

Exclusive Footage of The Funeral for
The 2024 Auckland Blues Killdozer.

The Official Funeral Procession wends its way through the Onehunga countryside. The children weep. The truck drivers curse Tony Johnstone.

The banners read:

"AKIRA, WE MISS YOU"
"FUCK YOU RAZOR, HOSKINS RULEZ"
"TONY JOHNSTONE BLOWS GOATS"
"DEATH TO VIRGINS"
"CANTABS BLOW GOATS"
​

The Ceremonial Burning of Ranga Christie's Hair;​

"When red burns, it burns yellow. This is Science 101."
​

"AVERT YOUR GAZE, pilgrims, lest your naked eye sully The Glory of The Memory of The Killdozer."

​

​

"...it seems to still be burning......"

​

"The Killdozer is dead. I can't f**** believe it. Can you
wankers believe it? I still can't fucken believe it....."
​

"Auckland Blues hopes and dreams for the 2025 season have been interred in a separate casket which will be biffed in the stupid f*******ng Mangere Estuary."

​

​

"..... maybe ranga hair is like those tyre fires and it just burns forever and ever?"

​

"Whoever the FUCK you are pal, this is ALL your fault."​

"This is taking so long that Ranga Christie's hair has probably grown back by now....."​

 

[Dismal Pillock]

 

[waiopehu oldboy]

Auckland Council have voted 17-2 to spend $110Mn of Gov't money to install retractable seats on one side of Eden Park.

Rugby configuration:

Cricket configuration:

Didn't commit to the $282Mn spend on putting a roof on it, though:

 

[Dismal Pillock]

App - Napkin AI

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Prompt: The Auckland Blues rugby team are the sun, the moon, the stars the heavens and the earth. They are 92% more awesome than the stupid Cantabs who are ugly and smell like wet goats whose bumcracks recently caught fire

 

[Wilson]

Good news @Dismal Pillock @zer0

https://x.com/BluesRugbyTeam/status/1906798346255442321?t=1-NBkmbloMzWX03HPQvcJw&s=19

 

[waiopehu oldboy]

Ponsonby RFC digging their heels in over being booted from Western Springs to make way for a 12,500-seat stadium for the Auckland A-League team plus some other codes incl basketball (Steven Adams is one of the backers).

Ponies want a 2,500-seat home ground & a Hollywood Bowl-like concert venue for ~50K.

Rich-lister and ex-All Black push for new stadium at Auckland's Western Springs

Anna Mowbray and Ali Williams want a 12,500 seat stadium alongside community sport, high performance, med-tech, hospitality and live entertainment facilities.

www.rnz.co.nz

I can see Auckland Council trying to shoe-horn bits of both proposals into the space available which potentially will free up Mount Smart for Blues, Blues women & Auckland NPC/ Farah Palmer Cup regular season fixtures which was one recommendation from a review done a few years back & which the Mayor & some of his Council seem to be using as a guide.

 

[zer0]

If we have to endure Eden Park then at least tell cricket to jog on and convert the thing into a dedicated rectangular setup.

I can see Auckland Council trying to shoe-horn bits of both proposals into the space available which potentially will free up Mount Smart for Blues, Blues women & Auckland NPC/ Farah Palmer Cup regular season fixtures which was one recommendation from a review done a few years back & which the Mayor & some of his Council seem to be using as a guide.

Playing from the Penrose industrial wasteland would be horrific. I don't just mean the ambiance. The PT is a huge step down and would likely buckle under anything like the Super Rugby final. To get there via train you have to walk >1km through aforementioned industrial wasteland. It's <200m at Eden Park. With no industrial wastelandage in sight.

 

[Dismal Pillock]

exactly, Mt Smart ffs, its always been a miserable cavernous dump. As Zero says, trudge through the misery of broken dreams that is Onehunga then into the industrial stench of Penrose then Behold, The Field of Dreams oh sorry, I mean the always-looks-empty buzzkill of Mt Smart stadium itself....

 

[waiopehu oldboy]

Under what seems to be the master plan all playoffs & finals would be at Eden Park. That's assuming, of course, that a Blues/ Auckland team makes a final before Eden Park gets sold off for housing.

 

[cyclopath]

 

[Dismal Pillock]

 

[zer0]

exactly, Mt Smart ffs, its always been a miserable cavernous dump. As Zero says, trudge through the misery of broken dreams that is Onehunga then into the industrial stench of Penrose then Behold, The Field of Dreams oh sorry, I mean the always-looks-empty buzzkill of Mt Smart stadium itself....

It's always sunny in Onehunga.

 

[waiopehu oldboy]

exactly, Mt Smart ffs, its always been a miserable cavernous dump. As Zero says, trudge through the misery of broken dreams that is Onehunga then into the industrial stench of Penrose then Behold, The Field of Dreams oh sorry, I mean the always-looks-empty buzzkill of Mt Smart stadium itself....

And yet Auckland FC & The Warriors draw big crowds generating lots of atmosphere on a weekly/ fortnightly basis...

 

[waiopehu oldboy]

Behold the Season Saviour...