Auckland Blues To Infinity and Beyond

[KiwiM]

“If you haven’t won something you’re always clutching for straws and second-guessing yourself. Now we know what good looks like. I’m looking forward to putting that in place for another couple of years and being consistent in what we do, how we behave and our DNA.”

“If it works, why would you want to change? We can certainly develop things. The more time you spend together and train certain aspects the better off we’ll be.

“We’ll do what it takes to win. I don’t believe we need to adjust a lot.”

Confirmation that things will continue as-is and that the noodly armed southron's will have to muscle up to force a change.

“The season being dynamic and demanding there will be opportunity around game time. Harry did an outstanding job last year. Beauden is coming back he’s conscious he has to work his way back in – it’s not going to be given to him.

I want to believe Beauden starting isn't a given but I'm skeptical that NZR/Robertson won't force the issue.

“Stephen has stepped in at 10 as well. Zarn will play multiple positions – he could be in the midfield.”

I think he would be much better used at 10/15, and the midfield comment may suggest he's being lined up as a bench player. Possibly even to create a regular 6/2 split...

Though, more likely, just to accommodate Beauden starting

Beauden may start but it's not gonna be because of NZR or Razor. Cotter is not going to be told who to play and where.

 

[KiwiM]

 

[Dismal Pillock]

 

[Dismal Pillock]

Local Rugby Team Begin Pre-Season Training.

--NZ Herald--

As part of the World Champion Auckland Blues Rugby Football Team's pre-season training, Blues coach Stern Vern has set his charges somewhat of a challenging task; paddling a little boat all the way down to Christchurch in order to attract the attention of All Blacks coach Razor Robertson.

"You pricks get in that f***** boat and paddle the c*** the length of New Zealand, from Auckland to Christchurch" roared Coach Cotter. "Once you get to f***** Christchurch you paddle the stupid little thing up and down the River Avon and don't f****** come back until that biased Cantab arsehole Razor f***** picks the whole f******g lot of you in the All Blacks. So sick of this fucking biased arsehole's fucking bullshit."

The boat in question.

"Our boat is named the HMS Hoskins Sotutu" said the boat's captain Hoskins Sotutu.

HMS Hoskins Sotutu Captain Hoskins Sotutu, the 2024 Super Rugby Player Of The Year, the 2024 World Champion Auckland Blues Player Of The Year, and, therefore by default, the 2024 World Rugby Player Of The Year went on to say "we will back in Auckland by Xmas, all of us in the All Blacks and lean, mean and primed for the 2025 Super Rugby season wherein we shall unleash blood-soaked vengeance on those Cantab motherfuckers that have wronged us, behold the leaden black skies of Onehunga for they are poised, pregnant and ready to rain down righteous retribution, we told you not to cross us you ***********. Godspeed the Prophecy and may Stern Vern bless this buoyant vessel which I am now renaming to 'The Onehunga Night Train'."

"The Onehunga Night Train", seen
here being readied for its maiden
voyage.

Star 1st 5-eighth Beauden Barrett will not be accompanying the team because he is in Parnell shopping for pair-look pink Gucci handbags with his wife.

 

[Dismal Pillock]

YESSS, unearthed an old GIF folder.....

"..... that Dalton Papal'ii, he is too sl

 

[Dismal Pillock]

IRB Head Apologises for Sotutu Treatment

--NZ Herald--

The Head of the IRB has today convened an Emergency Session in Paris in order to publicly apologise to four representative Auckland Blues board members after Super Rugby Player Of The Year Hoskins Sotutu was cruelly snubbed by new All Black coach Razor Robertson.

"This is worse than 9/11."

"On behalf of the IRB I would like to publicly apologise to the Auckland Blues, the New Zealand Rugby community, all New Zealanders, in fact, all citizens of planet earth for this grossly negligent act of inhumane barbarism perpetrated by the torturous, despotic dictator known as 'Razor'." said the IRB boss. "You have my deepest condolences. Sorry New Zealand, you've been sold a dud. 'Razor Robertson'? More like Malibu Stacy. Bloke hasnt done a fucking thing on the job and seems determined to be the opposite of brave. Chay Fihaki, fucking 'Dave', what the fuck was that all about? No wonder half the squaddies are about to bugger off to Tokyo. Let it be decreed that we the IRB will allocate 50% of our entire 2025 budget towards financial reparations to be paid to the Auckland Blues for this horrific selectorial oversight."

Razor Robertson himself (vacant blue chair, 2nd from the left) was conspicuously absent from proceedings.

 

[Dctarget]

I didn't realise that Tom Robinson had retired, that sucks. He was a great player.

Pretty brutal discussion of his anxieties around concussion, hope he's on the mend. Sounds bleak: https://www.rnz.co.nz/news/sport/536976/how-concussion-anxiety-led-tom-robinson-to-quit-rugby

 

[Dismal Pillock]

Had that reckless style that probably left him prone to more head knocks.

This just proves that Blues Men are New Age Men, unafraid to embrace their inner selves. Rather than suffer in silence (like say, a Cantab would) they boldly conquer rugby then move on to conquer pastures anew.

 

[Tomikin]

I'm not sure this is appropriate for an blues thread add

 

[Tomikin]

I'm not sure this is appropriate for an blues thread addView attachment 20918

Granted I cant spell Auckland either so it stumped me

 

[Dismal Pillock]

Stern Vern Kicks Rugby Football.

--NZ Herald--

Stern Vern has today kicked a rugby football. The Auckland Blues rugby coach, and former rugby coach of Scotland, Fiji, Manchester United, Liverpool and the Maldives had this to say about the experience; "I dunno, it was just a reflexive thing really, I didn't put much thought into it, the ball was just sitting there in the grass and I thought 'you know what, I might just give this rugby football a little kick, just to see what it feels like'.

The event as it took place.

"Turns out it's not for me" continued the great coach. "In fact, I will be actively discouraging all my Blues players from this slightly frivolous and wasteful activity. Ball in hand, keep it tight, stay in the narrow channels, that's still my rugby philosophy."