Auckland Blues To Infinity and Beyond

[Sully]

had to bust out the gifmaker to enshrine this sumptious vignette of magisterial balletic theatre from the weekend:

It is a beautiful try.

Sent from my D5833 using Tapatalk

 

[waiopehu oldboy]

Piers Francis won't be the Bloos designated saviour for the next little while, he's been called up for the Ringinland tour of Argentina (yes, I know he's actually English):

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/sport/news/article.cfm?c_id=4&objectid=11842353

God knows what they'll have to resort to if West can't get it together.............

 

[zer0]

We'll probably just get two rounds of Gatland v. Gatland.

 

[Dismal Pillock]

Blues v Brumbies, Sun April 30
Blues v Waratahs, Saturday May 6

 

[waiopehu oldboy]

Completely off-topic but Dismal's post above has reminded that this 80's classic is being rebooted:

Unfortunately the new cast looks a bit PC:

Still, could be worth a look.

Monkey Magic!

 

[cyclopath]

Completely off-topic but Dismal's post above has reminded that this 80's classic is being rebooted:

View attachment 9150

Unfortunately the new cast looks a bit PC:

View attachment 9151

Still, could be worth a look.

Monkey Magic!

That lot at the bottom summon no clouds for me.

 

[cyclopath]

This is how you do it.

 

[Dismal Pillock]

Just thumbing through the dictionary here, brushing up on my cuss words. Looked up “wanker” and that dork took up the entire fuckin entry. Merriam Webster herself had even scrawled in the margin, in violently unhappy red biro, “c**t of the ages, c**t of all ages.” Language, Merriam!

 

[zer0]

I don't know what this mob get up to during their week, but the Blues seem to have, somehow, managed to come out of a bye with more injuries than they had going in.

Taranaki and Maori All Black lock Leighton Price, called into the squad this week for the rest of the season as a replacement, will be pressed into immediate action on the bench, with Patrick Tuipulotu, Jimmy Tupou, and Josh Goodhue all ruled out with injury.

Worst of all Kaino is having "minor" corrective surgery and is now in doubt for the Lions.

All Blacks loose forward Jerome Kaino is facing knee surgery that will take him out of action for six weeks, putting a question mark over his availability for the Lions series.

The Blues confirmed the injury as they named their team to play the Brumbies on Sunday in Canberra.

The injury must put Kaino in doubt for the Blues game against the touring British and Irish Lions on June 7 which is the second game of their tour.

The Blues described the surgery as "minor" to attend to a tear. They believed the test series can still be Kaino's goal. The opening international on June 24.

http://www.stuff.co.nz/sport/rugby/...-surgery-to-put-his-all-blacks-place-in-doubt

If this surgery could've been done earlier in the season then the coaches and administration need a proper bollocking from the NZRU.

 

[Dismal Pillock]

If the shit-for-brains Blues organization has leaked their shartfaced malaise of clusterfuckery into the AB’s set-up and stuffed up Kaino for the Lions tour there will be blood in the water.

I don't know what this mob get up to during their week, but the Blues seem to have, somehow, managed to come out of a bye with more injuries than they had going in.

The bye week puts a real strain on Blues players. There’s strip clubs to attend, jug skull parties, grot mags to be read, KFC marathons, binge watching Game of Thrones episodes for 3 days while eating nothing but 37 huge fucking tubs of ice cream, all of these add up to make the bye week one of the most grueling weeks of the season for the Auckland Blues.

 

[Dismal Pillock]

Week 11

Scrafton and Tuipulotu the business. Finally a solid 1st choice locking tandem, after subsisting for so long on Triggs and Moli’s and sub-par Retallicks

Collins and his precious kicking option will probably supplant poor old Nanai next week for the Stormers in Bokkeland. Fuck it, hawd fawst track, let’s go with Nanai and run at the pricks, open the jailbreak valve

Faiane could be the straightening 2nd 5 Blues've needed all along. SBW, thanks for everything, that being, all the drama and fuck all else.

Moala really does not seem like a midfielder. He doesn’t see shit outside him.

The ponderous PuluBall is not a good look. I’m half wondering if Tana7s told him to slow it down as he knows how unfit the Blues are for the last 10 mins haha. Pula has solid D and rudders the clueless drongos around restarts and bails the out-of-position plonkers out of some tight spots but wft the handbreaking of the jailbreaking from ruck/scrum base just has to go. It’s like Weepu 2.0. Time for some Nock.

 

[cyclopath]

The Ioane Brothers, seen here doing some sightseeing in Samoa prior to the big match.

Someone sign that guy on the bench.
"Not fucken movin', c***!"

 

[Dismal Pillock]

Auckland Blues Board Announce New Dynasty

--NZ Herald--

With the signing of 3 new 1st 5's for next season - Otere Black, Perofeta and Gatland - the Auckland Blues have today announced that they will embark on a new dynasty starting from next season.

"Using Blues arithmetic" said spokesman Mr B.Gunston (pictured below) "our team of accountants and mathematicians have advised us that, as the 3 new 1st 5's are aged 20, 22, and 22, this equates, in Auckland Blues arithetical terms, into 3 decades of dominance. Therefore dynasty. My apologies to the other New Zealand teams in advance of next season and for the following 3 decades."

 

[waiopehu oldboy]

^^^^^^^^^ based on the last 14 seasons, no apology necessary.

 

[Braveheart81]

Ihaia West has made a Maori Jailbreak from the Blues to join the Hurricanes for 2018.

Otere Black is breaking in and is joining the Blues.

 

[waiopehu oldboy]

^^^^^^^^^^ headline writer's wet dream:

"Black in blue for next year's Super Rugby competition as West heads south"

Needs a coupla more capitalisations, but

https://www.stuff.co.nz/sport/rugby...s-super-rugby-competition-as-west-heads-south

 

[cyclopath]

^^^^^^^^^^ headline writer's wet dream:

"Black in blue for next year's Super Rugby competition as West heads south"

Needs a coupla more capitalisations, but

https://www.stuff.co.nz/sport/rugby...s-super-rugby-competition-as-west-heads-south

Groan. But kudos too.

 

[p.Tah]

Anyone seen Dilmal after the Sunwolves?
This thread is going to become amazing

 

[Inside Shoulder]

So the sun wolves have done what none of the oz teams could.
We've been kidding ourselves.

 

[waiopehu oldboy]

Anyone seen Dilmal after the Sunwolves?
This thread is going to become amazing

So far he's taken it quite well, I think:

"Total spineless brainless flame-retardant capitulation from the Blues.

"42 degrees on the field and fahrenheit 451 in their tiny pea-hearted brains, burn the books, this one never happened. The Blues with a timely reminder, after a seaosn of non-Blues rugby, that THEYRE STILL THE AUCKLAND FUCKING BLUES AND WILL FUCK UP THE UNFUCKABLE FROM ANYWHERE ON THE PARK"

http://www.greenandgoldrugby.com/co...ng-australian-teams.17375/page-51#post-953091

I'm actually giving some serious thought to cutting & pasting it into my Un-Australian Activities blog (with a writing credit, of course ).