Auckland Blues To Infinity and Beyond

[KiwiM]

BREAKING: Blues Forfeit Tonight’s Game After Starting On The Guinness At 9:30am
*Posted on March 17, 2017 by thaicastle1 in Sports // 0 Comments
Tana Umaga, coach of the Blues, has hosted a press conference to announce the team are “sloshed” and won’t be appearing tonight at AMI Stadium for their game against the Crusaders.
“The boys got on the piss around 9:30am thinking that they’d need some luck of the Irish tonight, and unfortunately have ended up drinking a keg of Guinness between them” he told Thai Castle.
“It’s St Paddy’s Day, and like the rest of New Zealand, out Irish heritage becomes really important on 17 March. Prattley is dressed like a leprechaun, and Ranger is smoking some four leaf clovers”
“Brooo, I … what, woah whoops”, George Moala told us, while urinating on his own shoes. “We realised we were fucked tonight, so thought, why not get fucked up early”
It is understood that Dan Carter was here early on, but drove home after “just a few”.
The Crusaders are considering playing a sevens match among themselves, for the Crusaders fans who have already purchased tickets. Both of the Blues supporters will receive refunds.*

https://thaicastle.co/2017/03/17/br...game-after-starting-on-the-guinness-at-930am/

 

[Teh Other Dave]

Thai Castle was bound to make its way here at some point. Does that mean the bet's off, Señor Pillocko?*



*Yes I realise I'm using a Trump Approved joke news article.

 

[oztimmay]

If Dismal Pillock ever had a twin brother/sister, it's name would be Thai Castle.

 

[zer0]

Has anyone ever seen Dismal and Thai Castle in the same room together?

 

[cyclopath]

Has anyone ever seen Dismal and Thai Castle in the same room together?

FTFY - we still don't have proof of life. I have this image of DP Thought.

 

[Dismal Pillock]

Round 4 and hello a colossal capitulation to the CantaBlands, 21-5 up at HT at The New Shitpot Lancaster Park and I'm already halfway giddily daydreaming of memes depicting a full state funeral for the burial of Tony Johnstone's crestfallen cock at the halfway line of the tumbleweeded old Lancaster Park and wft the Blues do an el clasico spastico blueso collapso classico par non fucking compero to lose by one million and one fucking points.

They looked so good.

Then the Rolls Royce jet engines of the first half went and got run down by 8 fucking fat ugly bearded tractors.

Fuck the Blues. Every fucking year. Just disband the useless cunts and be done with it. They’re doomed. Would any of those 3rd XV nobody CantaBland backs even be recruited by the x-factor schoolboy superstar Blues?, with their wingers shoehorned in all the way across the fucking backline? Like fuck. X-FACTOR! FIREPOWER!

Burn it with fire.

 

[zer0]

Came here to post that. For those not familiar with the latest balls up:

[Adidas] released the jersey for the Lions' tour earlier this month featuring "battleground coordinates" on the sleeves.

But they got all five team's coordinates wrong with the worst being the Blues', which matched up with the prison rather than Eden Park.

A Blues spokesperson told the NZME they had been advised of the error, but were not expecting the jerseys to be re-issued.

http://www.stuff.co.nz/sport/rugby/...es-for-mt-eden-prison-unlikely-to-be-reissued

Brings a whole new dimension to the whole jailbreak play, I think. One for the better.

 

[waiopehu oldboy]

On a brighter note Bloos are officially eighth on points differential from the Reds: both have six points but the Bloos a PD of +10 c.f. Reds -37. Taking only table points & PD into account Bloos are 10th.

http://www.greenandgoldrugby.com/community/threads/super-rugby-2017-top-eights.17442/#post-914415

Gotta love that Conference system, eh bru!

 

[KiwiM]

On a brighter note Bloos are officially eighth on points differential from the Reds: both have six points but the Bloos a PD of +10 c.f. Reds -37. Taking only table points & PD into account Bloos are 10th.

http://www.greenandgoldrugby.com/community/threads/super-rugby-2017-top-eights.17442/#post-914415

Gotta love that Conference system, eh bru!

The Blues have had to play 3 NZ derbies, 2 of them away - whereas others like the Sharks play no Kiwi sides this year, so talking straight table points isn't exactly fair either.

 

[waiopehu oldboy]

Piers Francis to join the looooong list of former Bloos 10's, off to Northampton at end of season:

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/rugby/news/article.cfm?c_id=80&objectid=11822089

 

[zer0]

Cometh the hour, cometh the designated 2017 Blues teenage messiah, Stephen Perofeta.

Start with Francis and park Designated Messiah 2017 on the bench to cover 10 & 15.

 

[waiopehu oldboy]

NZ Hurld have published a list of Bloos 10's since Carlos jumped ship/ was pushed overboard:

Daniel Bowden, Simon Hickey, Lachie Munro, Benji Marshall, Baden Kerr, Chris Noakes, Gareth Anscombe, Daniel Kirkpatrick, Matt McGahan, Stephen Brett, Jimmy Gopperth, Michael Hobbs, Tasesa Lavea, James Arlidge, Orene Ai'i, Luke McAlister, Nick Evans, David Holwell.

To which we can obviously add Ihaia West & Piers Francis so assuming they haven't missed anyone that's 20 in twelve years. Seems a lot.

 

[zer0]

First-five has certainly been a problem area, but that list is somewhat disingenuous as it's including everyone who even filled in as a stop gap. Taking the same approach, I'm reasonably sure I can name almost a dozen players who have played at five eighths for the Crusaders in about that same time period:

Andrew Mehrtens, Dan Carter, Aaron Mauger, Leon MacDonald, Colin Slade, Tom Taylor, Tyler Bleyendaal, Richie Mo’unga, Mithell Hunt, Marty McKenzie, Ben Volavola.

 

[waiopehu oldboy]

First-five has certainly been a problem area, but that list is somewhat disingenuous as it's including everyone who even filled in as a stop gap. Taking the same approach, I'm reasonably sure I can name almost a dozen players who have played at five eighths for the Crusaders in about that same time period:

Andrew Mehrtens, Dan Carter, Aaron Mauger, Leon MacDonald, Colin Slade, Tom Taylor, Tyler Bleyendaal, Richie Mo’unga, Mithell Hunt, Marty McKenzie, Ben Volavola.

LOL. Don't forget Stephen Brett whom we so graciously gifted you......

The difference, of course, is that the guys in your list were/ are almost all full or at least U20 internationals, those on the Hurld's are mostly, shall we say, journeymen?

 

[Dismal Pillock]

Blues Rd 5 vs Bulls:

Blues were fairly shit but at least their D made the Bulls look even shiter. Pollard Kriel and Serfontein? Well and truly nullified.

Thought Pulu has Weepuesquely slow from base of ruck. That assessing the options rubbish while he has a breather just handbrakes the whole funny car hot wheels drag strip action out wider.

 

[saulityvi]

Akira finally looked interested when he rode the pine for 69 minutes, no jailbreak action tho, but a good sign that he actually, for a moment, seemed to enjoy being on the field.

Blues look much better with Piers at 10 and West looks so much better when coming on later, thus I am expecting West to start next game, becouse, why not fuck it up? Afterall it is the Blues we are talking.

Collins still doesn't seem like he will break any more than 5 tackles this season, but leads the comp in offloads and seems very composed and is involved in a lot of the good shit. Case in point the last try(?) They needed someone to straighten and square the attack and there he is, Collins, the most unspectacular guy on the field, does exactly what needed, no more - no less, and Bam the jailbreak boys are gone on the far side.

 

[Dismal Pillock]

 

[Dismal Pillock]

Reserves: 16 Matt Moulds, 17 Ofa Tu’ungafasi or Sam Prattley,

HOW does Ofa keep making it onto the AB bench when he can't even get a start ahead of P.Manu for the Blues? Cos he can play both sides? Just a stopgap til Laulala came back now his "test career" is rooted?

 

[cyclopath]

He is sooooooo clicking on grot porn links.

 

[zer0]

So West is out injured but, in typical Blues fashion, our Designated Messiah 2017 is also out injured. So they've instead called up Gatland Jr.

Bryn Gatland could make his Super Rugby debut for the Blues this weekend after being called up as injury cover for Ihaia West.

West suffered an ankle injury after coming off the bench in the scrappy Blues win over the Force at Eden Park last Saturday, and could now be sidelined for at least a month.

With young Taranaki first five-eighth Stephen Perofeta also battling an ankle complaint, the Blues are likely to persist with Piers Francis at No 10 and include Gatland as cover on the bench for Friday night's clash with the Highlanders in Dunedin.

http://www.stuff.co.nz/sport/rugby/super-rugby/91186242/blues-lose-iahia-west-to-ankle-injury