Onehunga Post Office Returns “Absurd” Postcard Back To Sender.
--NZ Herald—
The Onehunga Post Office has returned an “absurd” postcard back to its sender, a Mr D.I.Smalpillock of Onehunga. “First the thing was addressed to a ‘Mr Kofi Annan of Unicef’ which makes no sense at all” said a P.O spokesman. “Plus, the content was so bloody stupid it was a waste of everyone’s time.”
A full transcript of the postcard reads as follows:
Dear Mr Kofi. What’s going on mate? Straight down to business, I want you to place Big Pat’s pythons on the 3 P’s programme. Have you heard of the 3 R’s? Reading, writing and the other one? Well, this is the 3 P’s programme. It stands for ‘Python Protection Programme’. Big Pat’s pythons are now an endangered species! He hurt his hip last year but needed to keep feeding his pythons, to keep the fu**ers huge, and now bad people want to take his fu**ken pythons away from him! This is an environmental injustice. Do something mate! Let’s stop the senseless loss and genocidal bloodshed together!
Regards,
--D.I.Smalpillock of Onehunga.