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The kid has been safe as houses. Just drives me nuts how Tenured Superstar Jordie will casually completely roger up every third thing he tries and turn the ball over but never gets called out on it. I am Grimey and Jordie is Homer.

Was disgusted with him when he casually subbed off. The Captain. Abandoning his charges as the heat of the crucible reached a white-hot intensity. "Oh hay guyz, I'll just casually walk off the field now. Injured? No, no, I just think I need a bit of a rest now eh". You think Mccaw would...

"UNDER HIS EYE, THE UNIMAGINABLE HAS HAPPENED. THE UNTHINKABLE. THE UNCONSCIONABLE. YOU MUST KNOW SURELY OF THAT WHICH I SPEAK OF. FOR IT IS THE UNSPEAKABLE. IT IS THAT WHICH CAN NEVER BE MENTIONED. LET US NEVER SPEAK OF THIS DAY EVER, EVER, EVER AGAIN. IN EXECUTIVE SUMMARY, MAY THIS UNHOLY DAY...

bUGGER ME, THE bLUES WERE TERRRRRRRRRRIBELL. Just fluffing opportunities all over the shop. Did I see the Landers had ZERO handling errors going into the last 10 mins versus the Blues 10 or so? Christie was so goddamn P-P-P-PONDEROUS he pretty much handbraked any opportunity to get a roll...

THE PROPHECY OF A THOUSAND BLUE DESTINIES HAS BEEN REALISED BLAKE GIBSON, 76TH MINUTE IRON MAN, WITNESS HIS LIKENESS AS HE ASCENDS INTO UNIMPEACHABLE AUCKLAND BLUES RUGBY LORE TJ, MAY HE RELIVE THIS LIVING HELL ON A DAILY BASIS FOR ALL RUGBY ETERNITY "Oh Jesus no, it's happened hasn't...

1st half Match Report

Aha, just realised that with Himeno playing, the Pitcairns will activate their cadre of local comms. They are present for every Landers match he plays in. Ergo, no TJ for me. Sorry Zer0/KW/BR etc. You will have to bear the brunt of TJ's hateful sneer and bilious and bileful rancour without me.

Oh God no. Please no. WHY do they get this man to broadcast matches with anything to do with Auckland? His disdainful hatred of all things Auckland is a constant, palpable presence in his voice.

Do we need to implicate.................... Cyclo in this cover up? Time to bring him into AC-12 for an interview. Maybe Braveheart too. "6 million quid. Michael Hooper didn't cost that much you know Mr Braveheart. If, in fact, that is even your real name....."

It was all Kiap's fault Sir, he's the one that started it.

Shiggins en route to find the money:

"T-minus 8 hours until ignition sequence start on Operation Day Of A Thousand Blue and Black Destinies" Boosters, stable. Valves, stable. Weather's looking real nice up here Houston, all systems are a go. Houston: "Checking command modules". Cyclo: "Wait on, 'Day of a thousand BLUE...

KiwiM coming through with The Prophecy here.....

Pleased Telea is back in favour. Not at all sold on AJ Lam. Feel sorry for Perofuture. Was safe enough in his extended run at FB but just didnt offer enough of a point of difference on attack. Hasnt been sighted in even the 23 since. Guessing its Plummers ability to play 2nd 5 too thats...

Fueling Status Update: "Houston, just letting you know, this weekend we're going with a 180-proof composite of pure ethanol, benzine and 245-T. Also half a billion gallons of climate-fucking nitromethane. Maybe a few hundred cans of kero too. Plus a few bottles of Absinthe we got from duty free...