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bLUES WERE largely a dishevelled rabble. Missing broken play tackles (BEAUDY) and total brainfucks from insanely experienced AB's like Ofa. Is Ofa all there? His placid demeanor makes it seem like he's mailing it in most of the time Riccitelli was utter shit. He's like a mid-sized puppy dog who...

FUCK YOU CHIEFS, FUCK YOU BRAD WEBER AND MOST OF ALL FUCK YOU FOREVER TONY JOHNSON

Both sides a bit bumbly. Rieko is not going to learn how to play centre with RTS (Roger Tuivasa-Sheck) inside him CClarke and Telea impressive repossessing bombs. CC can do everything George Bridge can do but 85% better Perofuture realising The Prophecy.

Keen defender but from the base of the ruck he's basically Jonathon Ruru

I agree, he is making very hard work of it. The Force 9 is fairly guileless, telegraphing his passes straight to first receiver

Rebs looked like a well-organised club side. Not much in the way of dynamic top-flight rugby footballers on display.

10 mins to go, Rebs down by 10 pts, and theyre pissing around well inside their own half with..... a rolling maul. FFS guys

You are high on the fire of all the fires. Knock ons galore, zero impact, he basically plays down to any level in front of him. If you didnt know he was an all Black you'd never guess it from any of his performances in any rugby football match ever.

The sideline commentator with the infomercial voice sounds like she's reading straight from a corporate PR pamphlet. Is she even at the ground? No feel.

"You are here for rugby match? You play rugby just over there. By rubble. We stand guard. 80 minute? You have 20".

I'm sure it's pronounced "Diks Hit". Oh. Not much better is it.

I would be up the the Blues to tip over the Chiefs this weekend

"Sure, you can push red nuke button if you like. Go ahead. Be my guest. If you think you can get to it before me. Well? What are you waiting for? Come on then. Come onnnnnnnn."

".....but Sir, the ACT Brumbies rolling maul is a legitimate rugby strategy and tactic....." "What part of 'nuke Canberra now' did you not understand?"

"It is valid proposal. Test run of our nuclear warhead on this "Tony Johnson" fellow. I like it. Aim for cock."

"It's ok, I don't need to watch the recording of the last 5 minutes of the Blues match, Leon and the boys are well ahead, let's talk Poland....."

Official Match Review Game 1 vs Canes. Did the first 75 minutes of that match even happen? I'm not sure they even did now. It already seems like underwater snapshots of a feverish dream from long, long ago. Someone named Goodhue played very well. Something else happened. Some people...

I missed. Just like RTS (Roger Tuivasa-Sheck) at the end.