Crusaders draw (home games in bold)
v Brumbies, Saturday, February 25 tenured Cantab AB's don't give a shit about these early season fixtures. L.
v Highlanders, Saturday March 4 coming unglued here. Not looking good. L
v Reds, Saturday March 11. resurgent Reds, wft is going on. L
v Blues, Friday March 17 goddamn tinpot New Lancaster Park graveyard. W
v Force, Friday March 24 only had to front up for 20 minutes to see off The Western Asterisks* before they're expunged from Super Rugby history. W
v Waratahs, Sunday April 2 tahs rise to the "occasion" even though it aint really all that and a bag of chips rugby-wise since the Cantabs dynasty died years ago. L
v Sunwolves, Friday April 14 84-3 blitzkrieg. W
v Stormers, Saturday April 22 cantabs fail to do the grunt work after last weeks canter. L
v Cheetahs, Saturday April 29 off the plane, got cocky with the run and gun, ran out of puff, go down 37-44. L
v Bulls, Saturday May 6. seeing as these lolly for everyone fluffybunnys no longer play NZ sides I havent seen the Bulls play a match for 2 years. L.
v Hurricanes, Saturday May 13 Canes too much firepower. L
v Chiefs, Friday May 19 Toddy's left a mess. L
v Rebels, Saturday May 27 the nadir of post-Toddy. L
v Highlanders, Saturday June 3 oh shit these Highlanders. L
v Hurricanes, Saturday July 15 outclassed all over the park. L. Tenured undroppable AB's already eyeing international season. Cantabs finish season with 7 straight losses to go 3 and 12, pass the shovel buddy, the last solemn smegs of dirt on the dynasty's unmarked grave.