Yesterday afternoon, the soap dodgers requested a meeting with the referee, Craig Joubert. World Rugby regulations state that an invitation must also be extended to the Australian camp to attend, which Cheika & assistance coaches duly did.
The article did not mention what the subject matter was, but one of my spies informed me it went along the following lines:
Eddy Jones (EJ (Eddie Jones)): Craig my ole mate, we're concerned that the Aussies are getting it about that our forwards are using devious tactics in the scrums, and indeed, that our prop, Dan Cole, is dropping his shoulder while not pushing straight.
Cheika (CH): Yeah, was doing it all day up in Brisbane
EJ (Eddie Jones): Craig, I'll have you know, my forwards are the most honorable of men, and would never ever attempt those underhand tactics. The Wallabies are doing what they always do, creating a false impression of my poor little baby Dan. Why, did you know he was a scouts leader in his youth.
So if we out manoev..,er, out muscle them in the scrum, then don't go listening to their bitching.
CH: Craig, my boys are the best scrumagers in the world. But Eddy employed the unforgivable tactic of telling his front row forwards not to use underarm deoderant. If we can't get an undertaking from Eddy that this tactic will not be employed in this test, then I'm instructing Moore to have baked beans mixed with fried onions & Tobasco sauce for breakfast come Saturday.
EJ (Eddie Jones): That's about as low as you can go, then I'll.......
and so on.
But Gees, I'd like to know what was discussed at that meeting.