Part 1: 2014 Wobble Wrap – The Top 4
2014 was a season dominated by a Churchie Side with sublime skill, off-set by a very simple game-plan. I guess you can do that with a back line that is quicker than a Nudgee Boarder through a Hungry Jacks Drive thru on the last day of term.
The other usual suspects stood up as well. Nudgee was stronger then most gave them credit for and TSS were slicker than a Gold Coast Real Estate Agent after a Mogadon laced Martini. And BBC showed glimmers of class, but were slower out of the blocks than a nobbled greyhound at Albion Park on a Wednesday night.
1. Churchie
There are some discussions from the boffins on this thread about where this team ranks vs previous GPS Premiers, but that’s pointless. It’s a bit like comparing the Punch at a Churchie Mums Fundraiser from year to year; either way you’ve got to be bloody strong to be effective and no one really remembers the details of what happened anyway!
Many also believe Ponga is the most talented back to go through the GPS comp since Churchie Old Boy Quade Cooper. That might be true, but let’s just hope he is less successful at stealing laptops off Asian students and sledging Wallaby coaches. The real story here is Churchie assembled the best team in the competition and avoided the golden choke. Most Churchie supporters quietly parked their Range Rovers at Longland Street each Saturday morning, (without fanfare and well directed smart arse comments to parents of other schools), and made their way to the official Churchie Daiquiri Stand out the back of the clubhouse, where they all got a facial and a foot massage and quietly hoped they would win. As opposed to previous years when they would walk in screaming like Jimmy Barnes after a 2 week bender and 3 bottles of vodka. (Calm down Churchie mums it’s an analogy not real vodka!). It was a well-deserved Premiership in more ways than one. Can they follow it up next year? Is Ponga a Cowboy? No and yes.
2. Nudgee College
As usual the Nudgee Old Boy network blindly believed in the holy Blue & White and they began printing the “Premiers” T-shirts just after the first trial game. In reality they were a “Churchie Choke” off the title as they cleverly put themselves in the frame for a Stephen Bradbury Premiership. Say what you like about our Nudgee friends, they know how to win and year after year they pursue the same old dream to the detriment of anything and everything else. It’s a bit like watching Sam Newman chasing promo girls at the AFL Grand Final; eventually one will drop a pom-pom and fall behind the group and then you’ll get what you want!
Are they in the frame for next year? Of course they are and Sam Newman will be chasing skirt till the day he slips into his coffin! Same thing!
3. TSS
TSS are to the GPS Rugby Premiership as a Gold Coast Bikie gang is to a crime wave. As long as they still have a clubhouse and a uniform and are allowed to meet in public, they will be a serious threat to the safety of others. They will do what it takes to put a great team on the field, year in and year out, even if it means signing every Argentinian under the age of 25 at the recent Gold Coast Wallabies game and re-issuing their birth certificates. I’m glad they did that because there’s as much chance of another Wallabies game being played on the Goldie as there is Grammar winning the premiership next year. TSS put the “I” (for import) in TEAM and you can expect some fresh faces at the back of TSS classrooms doing nothing next year. And who cares – if they played like the team this year, I’ll be watching them!
4. BBC
Or as the respected Monday Ex calls them the White Elephants. And at the beginning of the season they moved a bit like a herd of pissed, large elephants too. Once they realized they were BBC and not the Wallabies under Robbie Deans, they simplified the plan to something they could understand. While they were at it they should have dropped a colour off their jersey too, it’s easier to remember the war cry that way! That said a BBC team in my experience was always simple and tough, a bit like Matt Dunning, or maybe more like Tom Lawton, (Matt Dunning was just simple), but I digress. Top half of the table was probably a worthy spot for them in the end. They played some good rugby and they had one of the most talented back lines in the competition (most of whom return in 2015 apparently). If the BBC Dirty Laundry Squad don’t get on here and crap on about every weight session they do in the off-season, they might just be thereabouts next year.