The Grail
Larry Dwyer (12)
Feel a classic old story of mine coming to mind.....
Ok, everyone settle down, Uncle Joker has a story to tell. “Once Upon a time…..
God was sitting down on a beautiful Saturday afternoon in his golden rumpus room also known as Las Vegas. The simple 500L fridge was well stocked, well it was always well stocked, for God had never seen it not so. The Tim Tam’s were out in force, the bowl of chicken twisties at the ready, the 600inch Ultra 18k TV was warmed up and Cluch was about to start. Even the NBN was working well. God could not have been happier. And wouldn’t you know it, someone had to come along and disturb the big guy just as the game kicked off. Lucky for God he can pause the universe with a thought and strained his head to see who was interrupting his “me, myself, I time”. God did not like interruptions and he had even turned down his prayer radio so he couldn’t hear the constant requests for assistance from the pesky Presbyterians and pious Anglicans.
Standing in golden archway was Jesus.
He was looking flummoxed and he approached his dad and collapsed into the cloud next to his father.
“Dad?” said Jesus
“Yes, my son,” replied the Lord, “what is the problem?”
“It is about today’s game,” and he nodded in the direction of the TV.
“Oh that,” replied The Lord, “what is it this year? I thought you making posts falling over, saving the Joeys Old Boys from dying at the Leichardt stand collapse and winning games four minutes after the bell had worked in the past. What is the issue?”
Jesus sighed a deep sigh and looked into the distance ignoring the unicorns prancing in the meadows of swaying golden wheat. “Well dad, I have a big decision this year. All week both schools have been praying up a storm. The Jesuits of course just can’t enough of what I do. They constantly tell me how good Frank is doing as Pope and can we have more Jesuits please. Plus, they believe they are due for a double win. I thought the win earlier this season would be enough. You know, I made the Joeys passes not reach their mark and I even allowed Joeys players collide, and blind the match official that very moment. It seems they want even more.”
“That sounds like they really want your blessing this year my son,” replied the Lord as he grabbed another handful of Twisties. (The hole that was left magically refilled) This was not the answer though Jesus wanted for he had another issue.
“Father, I know we say the meek shall inherit the earth and blessed are the cheese makers…”
“Peacemakers……Peacemakers,” the Lord interjected
“Cheesemakers….ok then, but those Marists have just been singing every day and every night. Yes, the “Ancient Words” hymn can grate a bit. Joeys lads have been attending mass every day, wearing Rosary beads everywhere, blessing their rugby jumpers and even watering their number 1 oval with Holy Water. They are doing some serious lobbying that even the ALP in Canberra is noticing and I just can’t decide who I shall turn my face to and bless with my gaze. Do you understand?” Jesus said.
The Lord pondered his son’s dilemma for a few moments and then spoke his wisest words….
“Go ask your mother.”
Jesus soon found himself in a large room full of new born babies with Mother Mary blessing them all with her serene gaze from her diamond blue eyes. Angels strummed harps above her head and her clothing shone with brilliant white and blue. “Mum,” Jesus said, “can you help me please?”
“Certainly darling, what is the problem. Is your father eating all the Twisties again? Is he turning the unicorns into dinosaurs?”
“No, not this time, it is just how do I pick between Riverview and Joeys? They both are so good.”
“Listen to me my dear, it is simple. Do you love your mother?”
“Yes of course, “replied Jesus
“With all your heart? With your all strength?”
“Yes mother, all that I have and more, I will love you till the end of days”
“And so, my child, if you love me with all your heart and soul, then you must then choose the team that loves me just as much as you love me. Does that make sense?” asked Mary
“Well,” replied Jesus, “that is easy, then I chose Joeys as they love you as much as I do.”
“Yes,” said Our Lady, “but as well, I just like to mess with the Jesuits anyway.”
And with that, the sun shone down upon Heavens Pasture (Joeys 1) and the cattle dogs once again heaped misery onto the View lads. And in the distance, a serene statue perched on sandstone building enjoyed a quiet smile to herself.
Quite the word salad even by your standards Joker, clearly JC favors the Jesuits with the bloke in charge being a Jesuit. Are you on morphine now, not judging, just asking for a friend?
Well done to Joeys 1sts they have lifted a gear today by the looks, eventhough it was at the Asylum where it is no doubt more difficult for visiting teams to take away the win, (like View did last year). I agree they are deserved favorites at this stage, and deserve recognition.
I believe all of the GPS is pleased to see Shore stregthen this year and TKS will be building for next year too.
Well done to View overcoming a determined New' side, how good was their defence in the second half?!
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