After a four-year hiatus, Jokers fearless predictions return with all its culinary glory. For those born after 2000, this is called “humour”. Some even may call this banter. But is all served up on the platter called,
“I kid because I love”. Enjoy.
Scots V Newington at Hadrian’s wall.
This season has been one of great grit and test for both teams. Scots storm-troopers have enjoyed limited success but they are currently in the lead in the bragging, a position they are accustomed to. While suffering losses to lesser opposition they recorded a recent win against the Shoremen at Sterling Bridge. This lifted their spirits no end. Coupled with the usual Plumer road chicken burgers there has been a new macrobiotic diet of raw vegetables dipped in “special” sauce that has added more muscle to the team. They are expecting a huge game from their huge boys. Newington have been true to their recent form by mucking up the ingredients in their team. Plenty of different combinations have been tried, but the Wild Wookies of Stanmore have yet to settle on a winning recipe. They have the usual island advantage, they have plenty of Ota’ika, Lu Sipi and Pele Sipi to feed them with, but these wookies refuse to play with one another it seems. If they do decide to play nice then they will be a dark horse in this year’s competition.
Scots by a dozen chicken tenders.
Newington Year 7 boy with mum showing off his fav snack of Ota’ika
Kings’ vs Riverview at Castle Gray Skull
This game is vital for both teams. Kings have been viewing this season as one of great promise. A handy team that can score from most places, they took it to the cattle dogs early in the trials. Tis only a piece of magic from the Joeys 15 being the difference. Kings have beaten View and Scots in the trials and this has been achieved on a steady diet found in the Rolls-Royce Limited Edition Picnic Hamper that mummy brings to the boarding house. The fare being chicken burgers from Daei Persian Fast Food, Sainsbury's Chicken Liver Pâté and Brays Cottage Pork pies flown in from Norfolk UK. Riverview, who traditionally at this stage of the season are claiming they are the favorites because God told them, are primed for a big season ahead. Feeling they were robbed of the 2021 title; the wild wolves are looking for redemption. There has been an emphasis on cheering with the lesser lads almost drowing out the true catholics two weeks ago. While countless hours have been spent on the practice paddock and flaying themselves with whips in the chapel, the boys are ready to put the loss to Kings in the rear-view mirror of the brand-new Range Rover that daddy bought them for their birthday. I find it hard to go past Kings on their home paddock. I feel the bigger, stronger Kings boys will prevail. Such a shame they met in the first round.
Kings by 3 pork pies
Kings mothers new picnic basket
Shore vs St. Josephs at Stirling Bridge
Shore will not be a push over this season. There has been a new found belief with the school. This “hope” was item 27 on the scavenger’s hunt list and finally someone found it next to the homeless person they were going to spit on. Well, a good rocket from the new headmaster seems to have done the trick. Fueled by an exceptional diet of chicken curry pies, spinach and feta sausage rolls and the incredible hamburgers found at Five Points Burgers (don’t forget the milkshakes!) the lads have responded with wins against Oakhill and Trinity. A narrow loss to the dark empire the only real blemish. They will be confident. Joeys though have ticked along as always with the boys being fueled by the Spotless catering staff and countless orders of Uber eats arriving after hours. Usual threats of cold showers, long mass times and a run to Woolwich Wharf have seemed to work as the boys look sharp, just not as sharp as they should be. Joeys have as well tinkered with the team due to illness and injury. They are yet to play their “best game” and there are rumours the team has been foxing during the trials, not showing their true colours. Saturday will be the big reveal and with the firmer foot underneath, Joeys cattle dogs should be ruthless. The stubborn Shore cattle though will hold their ground as always and this is why we admire them so.
Joeys by a dozen cold fish fingers
Shore' secret weapon, Five Points Burgers
