Jeez it’s hard being a Riverview fan.
Well then, read this.
In 1540, God was sitting on his golden throne and looking down upon the earth below. He was not happy with what he saw. The most beloved of all his creations were not praying properly, ignoring the Pope and behaving appallingly. They were lacking a great man to inspire them to be better people. So, instead of finishing the unicorn as promised, he decided to make something that mankind would really need.
While in his work shop one his small cherubs flew by and asked what the Lord was up to. God replied, "Well sweet angel, I am creating a special gift to the people of the world. I will be providing them with an inspirational man who will challenge others around him to be devoted to my son, Jesus. Plus he will instill discipline in the school work of his students, as he will ask for commitment to accepting orders anywhere and to endure any conditions. I am making his order from the finest materials I have and the leaders image will be known across the world. Plus my son has agreed they can use his name"
"My goodness," replied the cherub, "will this gift do anything more?"
"Why of course," said the Lord, "the schools that are created in his name will only inspire the best of wealthy Catholic society. From these schools will come leaders of men and countries, great bishops, captains of industries and they will be the lords of all their domains. Nothing will stop them and they shall rule across all other orders."
"Oh my," said the cherub, "but that sounds a bit dangerous. How will they be kept in line and made humble before you Lord?"
"Good point," replied God. "I didn't think of that." And with that he ventured across the cosmos to ponder his solution.
Finally, he wandered back in his workshop in 1816. This time he was not armed with fine materials, but just simple wood, earth and clay. Not long into the process, the same cherub returned and inquired how the Lord was going.
"I am glad you asked sweet angel. For I have come up with a solution to the problem you raised." The Lord then created a pencil from thin air and started to draw his response on the back of the third tablet that Moses forgot to carry down from Mt Sinai. The one that had, "That shall always pick up the ball and run with it."
God turned his smiling face to the angel and said, "This simple man and his order shall be different to the others. They will be humble, simple brothers. They will tend to the poorest of my people. They will educate the needs of children especially those most neglected. Since it is an enormous task, I have asked my mother to give them a hand as well."
"But Lord," countered the angel, "how will this humble order keep the far superior one in line? I just can't see it?"
"Well," replied the Lord, "it's quite simple. They will beat the Jesuits in rugby at the death, so often, their students will be forever bleating to me that it's not fair"
"'Oh Lord," said the angel, "you can be so cruel sometimes."