Auckland Blues To Infinity and Beyond

[KiwiM]

The very impressive Auckland 6 Olmstead (Canadian/Australian) is training with the Blues in preseason as is Riedlinger-Kapa who was in this year's NZ U20s (also a 6). I'd rather have either in the main squad over Tupou.....

 

[KiwiM]

Blake Gibson and Patrick Tuipulotu named Blues co captains.

 

[Dismal Pillock]

Official NZRFU Auckland Blues 2019 Preview: ​

https://nzstuffherald.wordpress.com/2018/12/12/official-nzrfu-auckland-blues-2019-preview/

 

[KiwiM]

https://www.stuff.co.nz/sport/rugby...ld-selfless-maa-nonu-looking-to-grow-his-game

MacDonald on Tuesday said early signs were promising, to say the least, around Nonu's intent and influence at this late juncture in his career. He certainly looks in outstanding shape as he goes through his pre-season work.

"He's come back with a selfless attitude around contributing to this team which is brilliant for us," said the rookie Super Rugby head coach. "He's rubbing shoulders with the young guys, he's doing a lot of skillwork, and he takes it upon himself to sit down with the guys and give feedback.

"He's also desperate for feedback from the coaching group. He wants to grow his own game, and at the moment he's taking it day by day, week by week and adjusting back to life in New Zealand."

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[Forcefield]

You've picked the right thread for that one.

 

[Dismal Pillock]

What was it, another Russki spamster selling their assisted-suicide pills?

Put me down for a case.

 

[waiopehu oldboy]

^ yeah, some Russian spambot but I think it was your pornloft stash they were flogging

 

[Dismal Pillock]

^ yeah, some Russian spambot but I think it was your pornloft stash they were flogging

 

[waiopehu oldboy]

Auckland (City) Council who are guarantor of Eden Park Trust Board's $40Mn loan for the 2010/11 upgrade have had Ernst & Young in for a look at the books. It's not pretty reading unless you're a property developer or part of whichever of the Residents- or Neighbours Association it is that wants the place shut down:

https://i.stuff.co.nz/business/109781726/eden-parks-grim-financial-future-laid-bare-in-report

Main worry for mine is that it'll be a housing estate before a replacement is built.

https://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=12187857

 

[zer0]

Beat the Chufs 43-10 in the first preseason match. Sounds like the forwards were very physical, which is all that's really worth taking from the match.

 

[Dan54]

Beat the Chufs 43-10 in the first preseason match. Sounds like the forwards were very physical, which is all that's really worth taking from the match.

Good the forwards got stuck in zer0, I still think how either Black or Plummer go at 10 will be the key to Blues chances of ending up in 3rd or 4th rather than 5th in NZ this year.

 

[KiwiM]

Good the forwards got stuck in zer0, I still think how either Black or Plummer go at 10 will be the key to Blues chances of ending up in 3rd or 4th rather than 5th in NZ this year.

Having a new head coach who specializes in looking after the attack should help whoever is at 10.

 

[zer0]

Beat the Hurricanes 38-31 earlier today. Sounds like it was another physical effort on defence where the Hurricanes scored 12 points with the game basically over. Also turned an early 14-0 deficit into a win, which was nice.

 

[Dismal Pillock]

Auckland Blues​

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2019 LEGENDS OF PRESEASON.​

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[KiwiM]

Sounds like Perofeta will be out for several weeks with injury. That lad just can't stay fit.

The good news for the Blues is that Otere Black and Plummer are better 10s than the Blues have had for quite a while.

The bad news is it probably means Collins will get first crack at the 15 shirt.

 

[Dismal Pillock]

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may as dump this pos here.....​

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Official NZRFU Auckland Blues 2019 Preview.​

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Why get your hopes up?​

New coach?​

So what.​

New players?​

Who cares.​

90% of the Blues squad are still the dregs that no other franchise fucken wanted anyway.​

Nonu and SBW in the midfield? Well, whoop-de-fucken-do, break out the motherfucking bunting. Colour my crotch the caliphate incarnate. I would wager BOTH of my left nads that the doddery duo won’t manage 2 whole halves of rugby playing together during the whole fucken season. And if they do, after 20 minutes they will be brain-knackered. Hyopoxia sets in, help, we’re stranded on the Hillary fuckin Step here, hello, is anyone there, fucking radio for help, fuuuuuuuck, turnstile city. Nonu’s been literally walking around Toulon’s midfield in sunny sperm-stained retirement home France for fucken years. SBW is an old league player who still has fuck-all rugby instincts despite Hansen blowing plumes of smoke down W’s one-eye on the reg​

Pulu at halfback? Sure, he will ring your fucking bell on defense. But on attack? Handbrake City. Pop: the Blues backline.​

On the bright side, the Blues do have a fantasy spank bank of loosies in Blake Gibson, Papali’i and Akira. That’s the good news. And it’s always good news in pre-season. EVERY year the Blues look kick-arse on paper. Yet who remembers the kick-arse outfit of, say, 2015? Not many.​

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Yep, every season the Blues promise the world on paper, schoolboy star wingers shoehorned in alllll along the backline, and every year they trot out and proceed to play like the Onehunga Under-5’s Crippled Children Burn Clinic Fucken Hospice Care Unit.​

Plus the inevitable injuries. If I gave half a proper fuck I would tally up previous campaigns pre-season “starters on paper” and see how many of the fluffybunnys actually started games at the tail-end of the season. I’d wager fuck-all. 2 of the 3 loosie spank bankers will succumb to season-ending injuries, probably when they collide reaching for the last piece of cake at the fucken buffet table on the eve of the first fucken game of the season. That will leave Akira to play every minute of the season, leading all the stats for all super rugby players, shattering all Blues training records including running a 4-minute mile as well as successfully bench-pressing the goddamn sun, and Hansen will still pick some Landers fluffybunny who’s been nutting out the same damn crossword puzzle while parked on the fucken bench all fucking season.​

Another weird bright side though; 1st 5. The usual wft position for the Blues, is actually looking shockingly healthy. Otere Black, Perofuture and Plummer. That’s fucking THREE 1st 5’s who theoretically should be able to cope with the 1st 5 position at Soup Rugby level. Bugger me. This is great! SURELY all 3 won’t get fucking injured.​

SURELY.​

Joan Collins emergency 1st 5 by round 3.​

The usual summer trickle of pre-season training clips are coming through now. The lads panting away running up some hill in Cornwall Park. Or bashing away at each other in some jiu jitsu kung fu bollocks. All good and well. It’s when the actual rugby ball gets introduced to proceedings that it all instantly turns to shit.​

“The fuck is this? ​

“Dunno.​

“Haha, it looks funny.​

“What a stupid shape. ​

“It’s not quite round… ​

“…yet it’s not quite flat. ​

“What do you even call that thing? ​

“I can’t catch something shaped like that.​

“Me neither.​

“Can’t we just do more wrestling? ​

“Yeah, I was good at that. ​

“Me too.​

“Seems a bit mean-spirited, throwing an object shaped like that to someone and expecting them to catch it. ​

“Could be embarrassing. ​

“It scares me.​

“Yeah, maybe just leave it on the ground. ​

“I hate it. ​

“Me too.​

“Just kick it away. ​

“Away!”​

Blues 2019 Schedule:​

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H v Cantabs. please God please let the Cantabs AB’s pack still be at the fucken beach pleeeeeassse​

A v Shawks. wft straight on the road already? FFS. Blues don’t travel well. L.​

A v Jags. oh god then straight off around the world for ANOTHER rugby match? which sadistic fluffybunny put this fucking schedule together? FUCK YOU PICHOT​

H v Sunwolves. now we’re talkin. The 0-3 Blues take on their wooden spoon rivals. First win of the season right here baby!​

H v Landers. oh shit we always lose to these pricks. They’re one of those “properly coached rugby teams” that I’ve read about and also seen on the telly.​

H v Stormfront. L. Even these shittily-travelling boks will be too much for our injury-ravaged 1-and-5 B-team.​

H v NSFW. god I hate losing to these pricks. I hope Tom Carter falls down a well. All the wells.​

A v Chiffs. things heating up in NZ conference means the Chiffs will be on FIRE. L.​

A v Landers. ffs, these bastards again. Thanks Pichot, thanks a fucken lot.​

A v Bumbreeze. that empty frozen concrete shithole stadium in Canberra. ffs do I have to watch?​

H v Canes. NO WAY Nonu plays in this one. Canes to run riot. 54-7.​

H v Chiffs. ffs, them again? Their laughter ringing in Blues ears from 3 weeks ago has barely even fucking subsided.​

A v Cantabs. The annual horror show. Dark. Cold. Wet. And that’s just my gruds. The runaway red-and-black combine harvester reaping their annual grisly bounty.​

H v Bulls. last home game of the season but we’re 1 and 26, who gives a fuck. Bulls from their “mummy, mummy can we pleeeasse go to the playoffs, pleeease, MUMMY I WANT TO GO TO THE PLAYOFFS RIGHT NOW MUMMY” conference with everything to play for. L.​

A v Reds. heyyy arent these wankers just as shit as us? This could be the go!​

A v Canes. way to rub it in Pichot you fucking shitheel.​

Thank fuck that’s over.​

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[waiopehu oldboy]

^ Gibson & Perofeta on the injured list already..........

 

[Dan54]

^ Gibson & Perofeta on the injured list already....

I not sure Perofeta will be the loss that Gibson is, and is this going to be another lost year for Gibson? And he a co captain isn't he?

 

[zer0]

This piece suggests Nonu will start at centre outside Black and Faiane, with Williams on the bench. While having a guy aiming to play second five at the RWC instead playing at centre is not ideal, at least we'll have a centre who can pass the ball this time.

I can't remember if Faiane has played much at centre, but I could see them being switched off set pieces at times for either a Nonu crash ball, or a fake to try open up space out wide.

 

[KiwiM]

I not sure Perofeta will be the loss that Gibson is, and is this going to be another lost year for Gibson? And he a co captain isn't he?

A week or so ago they said Gibson would be out a month so I'd say it's likely Gibson will either be back Round 4 after the Blues trip to RSA or Round 6 after the Blues bye.

This piece suggests Nonu will start at centre outside Black and Faiane, with Williams on the bench. While having a guy aiming to play second five at the RWC instead playing at centre is not ideal, at least we'll have a centre who can pass the ball this time.

I can't remember if Faiane has played much at centre, but I could see them being switched off set pieces at times for either a Nonu crash ball, or a fake to try open up space out wide.

Faiane is pretty much a 12 only - I can't really remember him ever starting a game at centre. Having said that, your idea of Nonu switching into 12 during games for specific situations makes sense.