We want to know who you'd pick for the Wallabies

[No4918]

I'd like to see stats on number of penalties each has given away at scrum time and average it per test to give some context. Could take it one step further and see how many points they cost. Any idea where i could find them?

 

[Sully]

Guys just watched the Force game and had a radical thought. Here it is


David Pocock is not the form Australian Seven.

Discuss.

 

[The Red Baron]

He has recently served a stint as my fantasy captain?

 

[Slim 293]

Guys just watched the Force game and had a radical thought. Here it is


David Pocock is not the form Australian Seven.

Discuss.

Nope, it's currently Hooper... Probably followed by maybe Gill or Pocock...

However, Pocock will no doubt be the Wallaby 7 with Hooper as his deputy, and Gill leading the juniors...

 

[Sully]

So is there any Brumbies player not the form player in his position?


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[Inside Shoulder]

People have short memories. The Twickenham debacle when Baxter was sin binned for not being a competent scrummager burns in my memory.

"Never again" I said to myself as I set out on a quest to identify barrel chested, short legged, stocky female breeders for my Front Row Farm. Having collected breeders from Poland, Russia, Zimbabwe, the Congo, Libya, the US, Japan and the Pacific Islands, my Front Row Factory, situated in rolling foothills at a secret location in country NSW, has been running for 4 years now. With sires such as Keith Woods, Tom Lawton, Kees Meuws, Martin Castrogiavanni and Os du Rant donating semen for these wonderful breeders, the first drop of 11 front rowers is coming up to 3 years and showing great promise.

In 14 or 15 years, we should see some results at schoolboy level and we're hoping, with the intensive daily training, daily Scrum School with live scrummaging starting at 5 years and state of the art nutrition and strength programmes, our first crop will make their international debuts in around 17 or 18 years. 20 or 21 may seem young for a front rower, but these are genetically engineered, elite front rowers. 22 will be the new 30 for these animals.

We are in negotiations with Phil Kearns, Carl Hayman and Benn Robinson to stand this season. We're also interested in the post career physical development of some of the Wallabies' former backs and we are exploring a backs and forwards cross breeding program. The likes of Rod Kafer and Lloyd Walker might prove capable sires and introduce additional skills to the gene pool. Some of the professional darts players also have transferable attributes, physiques and skills for a hooker and we are investigating this as a cross breeding initiative too.

Attributes not normally associated with front rowers such as good looks, intelligence, being a good trainer, discipline and dietry rigidity are desirable and we are using selective breeding to assist us with this. Some of the traditional front row vices such as beer swilling, bad jokes, falling asleep on nights out and poor taste in clothes and women are being bred out of our stock. To be honest, even at this early stage, we're expecting some difficulty losing these characteristics.

We're also seeking private investment from some of the Australian provinces and schools. The Front Row Factory is a big up front cost but the long term pay back is significant. Each player will have a sign on fee which is payable on a diminishing basis for every future contract he (we genetically select only males except for future breeding stock) signs. Obviously sponsors will be entitled to a reduced sign on fee. Players will be prohibited from signing for an overseas team until they reach the age of 30 or this condition is waived (which we're considering doing with some of our yearlings and two year olds to help with cash flow).

At this stage I have knocked back some big money offers from the likes of Touloun but if the ARU and the various provinces don't come to the table soon, I may have to entertain external investors. As you can imagine, the Argentinians, French and Italians, in particular, are very excited.

My dream is to have international standard front rows playing in every club rugby team in Australia and for the Wallabies to be the envy of the scrummaging world.

Yours,
Cutter
CEO Front Row Factory

Presumably you do not let the progeny know if they have foreign parents or grand parents for fear of them turning up at a RWC for Russia, NZ or SA?


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[Slim 293]

So is there any Brumbies player not the form player in his position?


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Yes... but that's not what you were asking...

 

[Braveheart81]

So is there any Brumbies player not the form player in his position?


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Brumby Jack couldn't crack a whip to save his life last weekend.

I haven't followed every mascot closely, but Tah Man's work on the pogo legs the other week was terrific.

 

[Cutter]

No breeders from Georgia? Nor Argentina? Personally, I'd send a bus and a good supply of white wine (I'm yer man for that) to the Basque country of France.

I have to admit to losing focus in Argentina. The breeders I gave most attention would not have made suitable dams for the Front Row Farm.

None of my sires were interested in the Georgian breeders.

 

[Cutter]

Presumably you do not let the progeny know if they have foreign parents or grand parents for fear of them turning up at a RWC for Russia, NZ or SA?

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Their contracts make it impossible for them to leave prior to 30 years or unless that condition is waived. There are also sign on fees which are adjustable at the discretion of the Front Row Farm.

 

[What2040]

Fantastic Cutter.

Am going for a drive to Logan tonight, hang around a few railway stations, bus stops and shopping centres to locate a couple of 175kg front rowers for you. Won't matter that they cannot run, tackle, catch, pass, lift, ruck or maul but fuck we'll have a good solid front row and then our fabulous backs will win every game every year by 30 points. If we can only get them to leave their guitars in the bongo van, should be all good. By the way why don't we recruit some fleet footed wingers, say 9.8 sec blokes - do they need any skills or just speed the issue and then of course a couple of 150kg centres who can run like the wind, catch, pass, kick (although they wouldn't need to), chase, step (don't need to) etc etc.
Jeez we would be fantastic

 

[Inside Shoulder]

Personally I'd be happy if you just bred 2 from Karl Heyman...man he was good...make it 5 - we need reserves, not that he ever got injured

 

[mudskipper]

Aside from Sharpe, the players you listed (Mumm, Brown, Hodgson, Davies, Turner, Cowan, Daley and Phipps) have barely played for the Wallabies in the last couple of years.

But are taking seats up on the bus... need more serious competition for Wallabies spots… that’s what has really worked in the Brumbies this year and pushed the established players further such as Henry Speight, Pat McCabe and Lealiifano this season… I like to see the Wallabies do the same in 2012… no player gets a starting spot without hard work...

 

[Braveheart81]

So... say out of a starting team of:

Robinson, Moore/TPN, Kepu/Palmer, Horwill, Sharpe, Dennis, Palu, Pocock, Genia, Beale, Ioane, McCabe, AAC (Adam Ashley-Cooper), Kingston/Shipperly/Tomane/Mitchell, Barnes/someone else

Who hasn't worked hard?

 

[cyclopath]

So... say out of a starting team of:

Robinson, Moore/TPN, Kepu/Palmer, Horwill, Sharpe, Dennis, Palu, Pocock, Genia, Beale, Ioane, McCabe, AAC (Adam Ashley-Cooper), Kingston/Shipperly/Tomane/Mitchell, Barnes/someone else

Who hasn't worked hard?

Clearly Higginbotham.

 

[mudskipper]

after attending the Tahs match on friday night I'm not sure any of them should make the Wallabies starting 15 ...

 

[barbarian]

Yeah I agree. It's not like the Bulls scrum is decent anyway, I reckon I could have won a few tightheads.