Bruce Ross
Ken Catchpole (46)
When, back in March this year, the Irish Times scored a world scoop with the news that Casino John O'Neill had managed to lure Tony McGahan back to our shores the excitement was palpable. Somewhat worryingly for a man of my years, I can recall being in a state of tumescence for quite a few days after reading T McG's plans for our national team:
And the wonderful news is that Totality has delivered, so much so that Casino John has been able to go off to join in mock battle with Packer Mk III, secure in the knowledge that what he has done to Australian rugby will not soon be forgotten.
The only area where Totality has not ventured with the Wallabies is rhetoric or oratory. Robbie's soliloquies still retain their unique irrelevance and incomprehensibility.
So let's turn to the report card on Totality's first season. At the time when he responded to his nation's frantic appeal there was mass disillusionment with our performance levels and the boring nature of our play. We were demanding change and in the pubs of Sydney and Brisbane there was mass muttering along the lines of "Anything would be better than this." There is an old Chinese curse: "May your wishes be granted."
In the last year BT (before Totality), if we exclude the World Cup games against USA and Russia, the Wallabies played 12 Tests winning 8 of them. We scored 31 tries of which 24 were converted. We kicked 21 penalty goals and 3 drop goals. This means we averaged 2.6 tries per game and 2.0 three-point goals.
This year, our first experience of Totality Rugby, with the Wales Test still to be played, the Wallabies have played 13 Tests winning 8 of them. We have scored 14 tries of which 11 were converted. We have kicked 43 penalty goals and 1 drop goal. This means we have averaged 1.1 tries per game and 3.4 three-point goals.
It often takes someone who is distant from the action to perceive what needs to be done to solve a problem. Thus it was that from his exile in Ireland Totality could see how Australian Rugby could best respond to the threats to our dominance of the sporting landscape from Aussie Rules and Rugby League.
Kick-it-to-me fans love seeing goals being kicked; so we'll win them over by kicking more goals than they do. And the Mungoes are just focussed on scoring tries; so we'll differentiate our product by showing that you can have really exciting football without worrying about tries.
Actually I suspect that Totality has an even more transformational vision than that. Those with a love of rugby history will know that at the game's inception no points were awarded for a try. Grounding the ball over the line merely entitled a team to "try" for a goal. What better way to celebrate and commemorate our code's proud history than to completely de-emphasise try scoring.
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"I’ll run the whole training programme while the national side is in Test-match mode from June to December and also run the programme and the players back in their provinces from January through to June.
"So I’ll be dealing with the totality of the strength and conditioning, the medical, the rugby side of things, strategy, the review, preview of the game itself and also the individuals.
And the wonderful news is that Totality has delivered, so much so that Casino John has been able to go off to join in mock battle with Packer Mk III, secure in the knowledge that what he has done to Australian rugby will not soon be forgotten.
The only area where Totality has not ventured with the Wallabies is rhetoric or oratory. Robbie's soliloquies still retain their unique irrelevance and incomprehensibility.
So let's turn to the report card on Totality's first season. At the time when he responded to his nation's frantic appeal there was mass disillusionment with our performance levels and the boring nature of our play. We were demanding change and in the pubs of Sydney and Brisbane there was mass muttering along the lines of "Anything would be better than this." There is an old Chinese curse: "May your wishes be granted."
In the last year BT (before Totality), if we exclude the World Cup games against USA and Russia, the Wallabies played 12 Tests winning 8 of them. We scored 31 tries of which 24 were converted. We kicked 21 penalty goals and 3 drop goals. This means we averaged 2.6 tries per game and 2.0 three-point goals.
This year, our first experience of Totality Rugby, with the Wales Test still to be played, the Wallabies have played 13 Tests winning 8 of them. We have scored 14 tries of which 11 were converted. We have kicked 43 penalty goals and 1 drop goal. This means we have averaged 1.1 tries per game and 3.4 three-point goals.
It often takes someone who is distant from the action to perceive what needs to be done to solve a problem. Thus it was that from his exile in Ireland Totality could see how Australian Rugby could best respond to the threats to our dominance of the sporting landscape from Aussie Rules and Rugby League.
Kick-it-to-me fans love seeing goals being kicked; so we'll win them over by kicking more goals than they do. And the Mungoes are just focussed on scoring tries; so we'll differentiate our product by showing that you can have really exciting football without worrying about tries.
Actually I suspect that Totality has an even more transformational vision than that. Those with a love of rugby history will know that at the game's inception no points were awarded for a try. Grounding the ball over the line merely entitled a team to "try" for a goal. What better way to celebrate and commemorate our code's proud history than to completely de-emphasise try scoring.
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