The Commentator Commentator

[Biffo]

Most professionals in rugby seem to be subject to review, both during and after every game. Players are reviewed by coaches and selectors, coaches are reviewd by owners and members of clubs and referees are reviewed by the assessors. Everyone is reviewed by TV commentators. However those commentators, who have a vast influence on public perceptions by presentation of fact and opinion, seem exempt from review.

I paid a lot of attention to commentators over the last weekend to get some measure of how accurate they might be in presenting fact and how valid their opinions might be. I was appalled. I was especially appalled by commentators' constant criticism of referees - the comms were usually wrong in law and fact - and of coaches and players.

I thought that the commentators' performance might be improved greatly if they were subjected to the same "in-running" review that they apply. The TV channels might attract support by adding an assessor of commentators to the broadcast. I'd call him the "commentator commentator" and charge him with providing viewers with running commentary on the commentators who would have no facility to respond - just like their own targets.

It might be fun: "Kearnsey, there is no such thing as a double movement in rugby" or "Muzza, the number of penalties to be awarded in a game depends on the number of penalizable offences, not your arbitrary 16" or "Hugh, Palu and Polota-Nau are not the same bloke" or "you kiwi git, if you can't tell the difference between Moore and Mortlock by sight, read the numbers on their backs".

 

[Sully]

Brian Moore's effort in the England V France 6 nation match was appalling. He made Kearns and Mexted look neutral. The South African commentators need to be commended for their even handedness and knowledge of the game. I'm sorry I didn't catch their names but I really should find out.

Maybe we could rate commentators on a scale similar to the "TomCarter Scale" or just do a weekly rating per match?

 

[cyclopath]

Biffo, there are not enough terabytes of bandwidth, nor hours in the day to subject the failings of TV commentators to rigorous scrutiny. Such an appointee would basically have to talk for 90 minutes (they'd need half-time too).
Without lowering this to a parochial "Kearns in the worst", 'Mexted is a complete knob" or "Stransky sucks" type thread, there are some that really stick out with monotonous regularity. Muzza has a knee-jerk "Aw, I dunno" response to just about any penalty, betraying a dearth of knowledge about the rules. On the weekend he started picking at some call of Dickinson's, when one of the others politely pointed out the 2 or 3 consecutive offences the penalised player had committed - quite embarrassing for someone in his position. Kearns, well I can't explain him really. Howling for "Obstruction!!!" when he is sitting side-on, like us, so incapable of seeing how the players were standing relative to the other axis is dumb enough, and he doesn't seem to understand the forward pass rule at all. Kafer calling Joe Rok "RokoCOCKo" when we have had many years to know the correct pronunciation. It's just lazy a lot of the time. In fact they struggled to tell Turner and Mitchell apart several times too...

 

[Sully]

Except of course calling Rod Davies Will Chambers the entire time he was on the field.

 

[Pfitzy]

Have to say that Bob Skinstad's commentary is excellent.

 

[cyclopath]

Except of course calling Rod Davies Will Chambers the entire time he was on the field.

Maybe they look the same from the ears up?
NTA - agree re Skinstad, does actually add to the process.

 

[Lee Grant]

Brian Moore's effort in the England V France 6 nation match was appalling.

The worst commentary I have ever heard and I have listened to a few shockers in my time.

 

[DPK]

In the Wallabies EOYT last year, who was the older commentator (ex-player by the sounds of it) in the Wales game? I thought the commentary was good, Welsh commentary but gave credit to both sides were it was due in a losing performance by the home side.

 

[MajorlyRagerly]

It's a bloody tough job as a commentator these days. On the current lot, I do enjoy Kearns, Marto & Kafer as they seem to just love being there, although Kearns bias does piss me off when he points out all the indiscretions on one side, but misses them all on the other.

Listened to Keith Quinn cover the 7's yesterday. His knowledge of the players was out of this world. Random guys from Kenya, he was popping up all sorts of facts, very professional. I did notice though that when the kiwi's played he was quite blatantly biased though.

The NZ lot, I don't mind but they can focus on the negative a bit too much. I think Nisbett has made an effort to even up, but you can still hear it in his voice - I imagine that's almost impossible to lose though. I remember a few years back I head Kearns & Tony Johnston on the same commentary team for a Brumbies Chiefs match. I thought that worked really well, good coverage/knowledge of both teams & bit of banter in the background. Not the chemister of Kearns, Marto though.

I don't mind the poms in general, Jono Davies is passionate and knows his stuff, Moore gets a bit silly occasionally but all in all they are a good bunch apart from that Irish guy, I think Wallace is his name - not a fan of his at all.

the Yarps, not sure if i've heard Skinstad, but Bladen is pretty good. Maybe a little bit boring for my taste, but he knows his stuff.

EDIT:Gramatically shit, as usual

 

[rugbywhisperer]

Brian Moore's effort in the England V France 6 nation match was appalling.

The worst commentary I have ever heard and I have listened to a few shockers in my time.

i would have to agree wholeheartedly there Lee.
I still shudder at the extent to which he denigrated the French game - "England have added far more excitement than the French" was a peach closely followed bu "England are by far the more adventurous".

What a guy.

I do believe they all pale into insignificance to Murray Mexted who is rapidly approaching a Phil Gould Award.

 

[PaarlBok]

I dont care much about the commentator. Usually listen to the Boer ones like Kobus Wiese and Breyten Paulsen. When our teams play in Aus & NZ , love listening to them when we'r on the right side of the scoresheet but flippen hate it when we losing. Love Mexted , havent heard from him in a long time. :nta:

 

[chief]

You know, I thought Bill Tune was a good commentator, he always had good things to say, without being bias. He had confidence issues though.

 

[Blue]

Keith Quinn

Why does this man not commentate the 15 man game? He is one of those commentators that makes things interesting and has a lot to say during stoppages.

Brian Moore can take the Welsh fucker, (is it Davies?) with him and just never come back. Crying, whinging babies about every little thing that goes against their teams. They are a disgrace.

As a neutral, Davies (if that's the screaming Welsh wench's name) has actually made me switch off the sound on numerous occasions.

Kearns has improved, until he started crying about the Tahs being tackled without the ball. Say it once Phil, we heard you.

Marto's okay in a sort of non descript way.

If Clarke tells me one more time that Palu weighs 120 kggggggggggggggssssssssss!!!!!! I will personally arrange to have 120kggggggggggggssss!!!! of lard dump on his front porch.

Stransky's nasal whine can be a tad irritating (you should hear what people sound like where he grew up).
Bob's not half bad. Check out his chat sessions at supersport.co.za after test matches. You can pose questions.
How I miss old Bill.

 

[PaarlBok]

Ja Bill was a legend. They have this local Boer song about Spiekeries and everytime I listen to the part where Syd Nomis scored against the All Blacks I get goose bumps. Just cant help it. When we got TV in the 1970s we use to keep Gerhards commentary on the radio and watch the images on the TV. Vokken unbelievable his talking speed. Obvious Bok biased but his voice and rugby make sense in my brains.

 

[Scarfman]

Bladen is senile. Kearns is the most biased. Mexted is a dribbler.

There you go. A TriNations of incompetence.

 

[Biffo]

Bladen is senile. Kearns is the most biased. Mexted is a dribbler.

There you go. A TriNations of incompetence.

Yep . Bring in the Commentator Commentator to rubbish them out of their boxes.

 

[Jethro Tah]

How about some suggestions on the next generation of commentators, e.g. the colourful language of Van Humphries or Sharpe, the cliches at high speed from Genia or the brutality of Phil Waugh?

Any ideas who is going to be commentating for Ch9 for RWC 2011?

 

[chief]

How about some suggestions on the next generation of commentators, e.g. the colourful language of Van Humphries or Sharpe, the cliches at high speed from Genia or the brutality of Phil Waugh?

Any ideas who is going to be commentating for Ch9 for RWC 2011?

I'm seriously hoping Ben Tune. I wouldn't be surprised if Nine goes for an elite line up, say Eales and a few other former players, hoping they get a English commentator or former player, just to keep it interesting. If Australia win the Tri-Nations this year I think it will be very interesting to see what Nine put into the competition.

 

[Lance Free]

In the Wallabies EOYT last year, who was the older commentator (ex-player by the sounds of it) in the Wales game? I thought the commentary was good, Welsh commentary but gave credit to both sides were it was due in a losing performance by the home side.

I think you might be talking about Eddie Butler. Ex Taff No 8 (not much of an accent) and been around for yonks. He's a print journo as well. He does a fairly credible job and is certainly not anywhere near up the bias-o-meter with Jonothan Davies, who is the worst in the world for that. Yes, even worse than the Kiwis.

That said, Tony Johnston is one of the best around.

Actually bumped into Marto at junior rugby yesterday morning (Graceville Park, BrisVegas).

He'd just arrived back on the red-eye from Perth and was with his boy. I think I reffed his match. Looked out on his feet..... Had a quick chat.

Opinionated but good comments man. They work well as a team (with Clarkie & Kearnsey) and don't take themselves too seriously. I think that's what attracts the South African audience to them.....

 

[Reddy!]

Yeh agreed Lance. While Marto sometimes is outspoken and can say some outlandish things (to keep it interesting of course), he has a very good knowledge of the rules of the game and knows basically every player in the Super 14.

I find Clarkey and Kearns try to play the part of the brains and the braun too much. Clarkely with his polite and politically correct manner, and Kearns with his tiresome support for front rowers, and criticising the ref.

Kafe is a very good analyser of the game, and I enjoy his input and banter, but I have a feeling he would be better suited as a coach then commentator.

I'm really liking Brendan Cannon and Jeremy Paul on the Rugby Club. Nick McCardle is also good and wouldn't mind seeing him get a run as a commentator, and I feel the old team was getting a bit old and exclusive.

TJ from NZ is quite good, like that fellow, but has a bad commentary team.