Actual conversation overhead at Taco Bill in Laverton this morning*:
Pulveriser: Morning Andrew, ready for our "mediation"? Ah ha ha.
Cox: Jesus wept. Dunno why they sent you to talk to me over a brekky barrito. Dead man walking.
P: Aw, come on Andrew, don't be mean. This whole thing is awfully upsetting, I mean, even my University Fraternity (up the Oinks!) have changed our regular tennis doubles day and not told me. Sad.
C: I have demands, so listen up, chinless.
P: Of course Andrew, what do you want?
C: I want $10 million damages.
P: Oh dear. I wish we had that kind of money. I could ask Cameron to sell one of his Monet's, but he isn't really talking to me either.
C: Right. Then forget the cash. I want unlimited recruiting allowances and for the ARU to stay the fuck out of my way to run the club however I see fit.
P: Certainly Andrew, no problem.
C: Good. Now fuck off.
*possibly