Shiggers: ".....ref missed a clearcut Blues knock-on there."
DP: "Thine one eye has seen the glory bequeathed upon the cock and the ball."
Shiggers: "All the Blues backs were up offside there, what is this ref even looking at....."
DP: "Hold the phones, Akira has laid the biblical smackdown on some lost tourist. Spank me harder Jesus, spank me like mummy used to on the sabbath."
Shiggers: "That was clearly above the sternum, where's the red card? Ref is only looking at one team here."
DP: "He's still not moved. Chuck the corpse under the sticks, St Johns ambulance will pick him up in a bit, R.I.P pilgrim, play on I reckon."
Shiggers: "This ref is a joke. Should recuse himself from the match at this point."
DP: "OH SHIT, Telea waltzes in under the sticks, right past the cadaver, Bloos bonus point try already and we're not even 20 minutes in. The Prophecy has awakened the kraken all up and down my bumcrack, hold me Shiggers, hold me."
Shiggers: "Clearcut case of obstruction for that try, what is this ref even looking at....."