Queensland's most-capped rugby player, Sean Hardman, has no intention of living the nightmare one more time and will only play on next season if he is convinced the Reds' players and organisation are utterly committed to reaching the Super 14 finals.
Many observers interpreted 32-year-old Hardman's handclaps to the Suncorp Stadium crowd, when he was substituted late in Saturday's season-ending match against the Hurricanes, as a gesture of farewell.
In fact, they were intended as an expression of thanks to the 19,025 loyal Reds fans who turned up to support a team that has continually frustrated them in its final match of yet another miserable season in which it finished second-last on the ladder.
Yet, at the same time, Hardman was sharing that same frustration and unless he feels things are going to change dramatically next season, he truly may have said his goodbyes after a record 137 matches for Queensland.
"I'm a very competitive and very proud sort of person and there is no way I'd want to go around again next year just to finish on this sort of sour note," said Hardman, who has asked for - and been granted - a couple of weeks now that the Reds' season has ended to decide whether to continue his rugby career.
In a season in which the Reds' performances fluctuated wildly, from the highs of outstanding victories over the Sharks and Blues to the lows of their disinterested, bumbling losses to the Lions and Brumbies, Hardman was a rare model of consistency.
Never a flashy player, even by the modest standards of hookers, he nonetheless was solid and dependable throughout. There were fears at the start of the season that the loss of Test hooker Steve Moore to the Brumbies would destabilise the Queensland scrum and lineouts but, if anything, the performance of the set pieces was one of the few significant pluses to emerge from this year's campaign.
Certainly, if any injury was to befall Moore or Waratahs hooker Tatafu Polota-Nau in the coming months, Wallabies coach Robbie Deans could turn to Hardman in the sure knowledge that he would not let the Australia side down.
Yet, like another player who captained the Reds this season, Berrick Barnes, Hardman felt at times that not everyone was putting in equally.
"It's frustrating ... the biggest challenge as a player is to get your head right to play against other men in a full-on confrontational sport," Hardman said. "But you can tell when guys aren't turning up on the night. It only takes a couple in a team sport for everything to come unstuck.
"I'm not prepared to say yea or nay about playing on yet. It comes down to (head coach) Phil Mooney and the staff and how they feel about me being around. The question I ask myself is: 'Am I a part of the solution?' You want to be value-adding. If not, walk away."
A team as young as the Reds desperately needs its few hard heads like Hardman and former All Blacks flanker Daniel Braid - now accorded high-priority retention status as his deal with Llanelli has collapsed - to stick around to show the way.
